We're Never Done With Killing Time
by YouBuyMeOrangeJuice
Summary: Gail and Holly not getting shot. Not like it's a cakewalk either though. A month or so post 4x13. Sibling heavy. I only own the mistakes. This could go on forever. "The course of true love never did run smooth"
1. Chapter 1: Got a Lot to Not Do

"Chris, seriously. Never. Gonna. Happen."  
"Geesh, a guy can ask," Chris puts his hands up defensively as Gail stomps over to the bar.  
"Damn, who rained on her parade?" Dov asks as he rejoins the table, fresh drink in hand.  
"Genius over here asked if Holly had any sisters," Traci barely gets the words out between laughs, "I'm sorry I really just can't help myself".  
"Aw Diaz still not gettin' any?"  
"Whatever Dov, I don't date married girls."  
"Ouch! You just gonna take that Epstein?"  
"Oh look, Cruella's back." Gail sits down with a thud.  
"Har, har very funny," Gail retorts before sticking out her tongue.  
"When does Holly get back?" Dov asks, "You're nicer when she's around."  
"She's got a countdown app on her phone!"  
"Chris! I do not!"  
"She doesn't."  
"Thank you, Trac,i" Gail shoots.  
"She doesn't need it, she does an hourly mental countdown," Traci cackles, "and Holly gets back Monday night," Traci slyly smiles.  
"Hilarious, you guys are just Hi-larious," Gail grumbles as she checks her phone yet again.  
"A watched pot never boils, Peck."  
"Pot calling the kettle black much, Dov?"  
"What?! I'm not waiting for Chloe to call. We're taking a break so she can get better at her parents' and so she can figure out her husband-marriage-situation. I'm not waiting for her to call."  
"Who wants another?" Chris motions to the bar and everyone looks down at their empty glasses.  
"Actually I should get going, Leo has a soccer game tomorrow morning and I'm doing carpool," Traci apologizes.  
"I'm gonna split too, there's no way I'm going to the range hungover tomorrow. I've done it before. Hurts like a bitch."  
"Gail's right, we should probably get going if we want to survive tomorrow, c'mon Diaz."

* * *

"Hey! Hands off my cheese puffs!"  
"We're drungry!"  
"Boys," Gail sneers as she launches her hand into the bag and grabs a handful "Night kids".  
Gail saunters off to her room and checks her phone for the countless time that night. Damn. Another missed call and voicemail from Holly, who was at a conference in Vancouver. Gail was so over this whole "different time zones" situation. By the time Holly was done with her dinner and presentations for the night Gail would hopefully be dreaming about cheese puffs and the target range. So instead of calling her back Gail sends off a quick text and falls into bed. It was Friday night and once she wakes up it'll be Saturday. Since Holly was coming back on Monday night Monday basically doesn't count. And since it's basically Saturday, Saturday doesn't count either. So that pretty much left Sunday, Gail reasons. So basically she'll see Holly in a day. Traci was right, Gail does do an hourly countdown, but Traci doesn't know how much Gail fudged the numbers.

A/N: This chapter is just a short teaser to get the ball rolling, I'll be back with a meatier chapter in a day or two!


	2. Chapter 2: We Move in the Tree Streets

A/N: I don't own anything except the mistakes.

"Sup, Casanova?" Gail's hunched over her desk, barely starting on her paperwork for today's shift.  
"Oh, ya know. Just busted the biggest gang in the city. Thought you might want my autograph."  
"Steve, I was there. We busted three teenage boys growing shitty pot in their mom's greenhouse. And I think the pictures of nine year old you in mom's heels will tide me over for a while longer."  
"Alright. Well let me know if you change your mind. You're coming to Sunday dinner tonight right? There's no way I'm going alone."  
"So bring Traci."  
"No way, she's got Leo tonight. He'd have nightmares for weeks."  
"Ugh fine. Superintendent mom would probably have me arrested if I didn't show anyways."  
"Great. I'll pick you up at 6."  
"Trying to make sure I don't flake on you?"  
"No way Gail. I'm being the excellent big brother I have been for the past 28 years."  
"Well big brother, you just won yourself the coveted title of 'Designated Driver'. Now get outa here, this paperwork isn't gonna do itself."  
"See you at 6! Oh, and mom's on a new 'raw diet' so you have to bring snacks for the car."  
"Gag me. What is this? The Hunger Games?"

* * *

"Let's ditch and just go grab a burger," Gail suggests as they pull into their childhood driveway.  
"I wish. Here," Steve hands Gail a wet wipe so she can clean the cheese puff powder off her hands.  
Gail slinks out of the car and gazes up at her parents house as they walk up the front steps. The door swings open, revealing the ever chipper Elaine Peck.  
"Ah my babies!" she exclaims.  
"Evening mom."  
"Steven, you're looking thin."  
"Hi mom," Gail says with a closed lip smile.  
"Gail! I just started this new "raw diet", you should do it with me! I've already lost four pounds this week."  
"Thanks mom but I'll pass," Gail says through gritted teeth, as Steve offers up a sarcastic thumbs up behind their mom.  
"Gail, why didn't you bring Holly?" Elaine asks as she leads them into the living room.  
"Well mom I only dragged her along last time as a punishment but I let her stay home tonight."  
"Actually I'm pretty sure it was her who dragged you along last time," Steve jokes. If looks could kill Steve would have died ten times over.  
"Gail, can I get you a drink?" Steve asks in an attempt to get Gail back on his side.  
"I'd love one. Heck, I'm not driving, make it a double."

* * *

"I'm going to puke!" Gail exclaims as soon as she and Steve have shut the car doors.  
"Oh mom's raw food wasn't that bad," Steve offers as he throws the car into reverse.  
"You're right it wasn't that bad. But it also was not food," Gail protests.  
"Oh it was food alright. Bird food," Steve counters with a chuckle. "Where to 'Designated Passenger'?"  
"I want a milkshake...and fries...possibly a donut."  
"Sounds about right," Steve smiles to himself as he turns toward a favorite diner of theirs.  
"Why didn't you just tell mom Holly's at that conference anyways?"  
"I like to see her sweat."  
"Gail, that's just mean," Steve glances over at Gail for a second.  
"She's mean. I have to get my kicks when I can."  
"What's so bad with letting on that you're happy? Mom liked Holly. She called her 'Holly' for one."  
"You're right. I'm sure she's halfway to adopting her and cutting me off," Gail sighs.  
"You know you're so much like mom," Steve smiles.  
Gail turns and stares at Steve, eyes narrowed, jaw set, and lips pursed. She stays stalk still as Steve pulls into a spot in front of the diner. Steve glances at Gail briefly as he exits the car, "Come on, or I'm locking you in," he threatens.  
Gail knows it's not an empty threat and opens the door immediately, but takes her time getting out of the car and walking into the diner.

They make their way to their usual booth, away from the draft of the door and the bustle of the cash register, with a good view of the small park across the street. The waitress leaves them with their menus and Steve offers one last observation, "You know, giving mom 'bad news' isn't worth it if it's not good news for you. She's not 'winning' if you're happy. You'd have made detective a long time ago Gail if you weren't so focussed on trying to keep her from 'wining'."  
Gail looks at Steve over her menu with the same look she gave him in the car and cooly proclaims, "you're buying". All Steve can do is smirk.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews, views, and follows guys! This is my first fic so I'm still getting the ball rolling but have no fear! Holly's Toronto bound next chapter and it'll get less dialog centric. The chapters will also get a longer as the story gets going.


	3. Chapter 3: You Pick Me Up & Take Me Home

"Gail? Holly? What are you guys doing here?" Chris questioned, finally nearing the end of his paperwork for the night.

"Where is she?!" Holly breezed past Chris only to realize she didn't know where she was going and just looked from one corner of the room to another.

"Summer. Where's Summer?" Holly looked from Gail to Chris.

"Gail? You left like an hour ago. Wait, Holly? What are you two doing here?" Dov asked as he walked in from booking.

"My sister called, she said she was here. What's going on?!"

"Wait, Oprah's _your sister?"_

_An Hour and a Half Ago_

"Oh good! Gail, I need you to search Oprah for me."

"Oprah's here?! Dov you arrested Oprah?!" Chris sat straight up from his desk and quickly tried to smooth down his hair.

"Jeez, no Chris, it's some teenager who won't give me her real name."

"Can't Little Bear, I left ten minutes ago. Do it yourself," Gail said, easily dismissing Dov.

"I can't, she's a girl. Wait left ten minutes ago? You're right here."

"I'm picking Holly up at the airport and I'm already running late. Just don't tell her you're a guy, she probably won't even notice."

"Chris, shut it!"

"I didn't say anything!" Chris looked up from his paper work and puts his hands up defensively.

"Your face is laughing even though your mouth is closed."

"Dov's right, Chris, you owe him an apology. And you know, I'm in a really generous mood so I'm gonna take that back, she would totally notice Dov's not a girl, _and_ McNally just dropped me off so she should be in in a few once she get's the car checked over, so I'm gonna volunteer her to do the search for you."

"Gee thanks?" Dov asked, slightly confused but mostly amused.

"Night boys," Gail called over her shoulder with a wave as she sauntered over to the locker room.

"Where are your bags?" Gail asked, looking curiously around, wondering if the airline had manage to "misplace" Holly's baggage.

"This is my bag," Holly stated simply, cocking her head to the side as a half smile lit up her face.

"What do you mean? You were gone for like a _week_," Gail questioned.

"Actually, I was only gone for five nights," Holly countered, as she rounded Gail's car and threw her carryon in the trunk.

"That's _six days_. Seriously, did they lose it? We can file a report, say it was filled with cash and gold," Gail wagged her eyebrows and Holly just chuckled, halfway in the door already.

"Are you gonna get in the car and take me home or not?"

Gail cocked her head to the side, pretending to ponder Holly's question. "Not," Gail fibbed as she rounded the front of the car to the driver's side. "Actually, I _will_ drive you home if you can assure me of one thing."

"Okayyy?" Holly looked over at Gail skeptically.

"Just promise me you had enough room in that _microscopic_ bag of yours for five pairs of underwear and a toothbrush," Gail was looking Holly dead in the eye, not a hint of humor or sarcasm in her voice or on her stared right back, never missing a beat.

"You are insane," Holly kept her eyes glued to Gail's as she reached over to the steering wheel and turned the keys in the ignition. "Toothbrush and toothpaste are complimentary at any hotel worth it's salt," she stated as the engine roared to life and she turned back to look out the windshield, "and who says I'm wearing underwear?"

_ 'Hollyholyshit Gail get your face together,' _Gail thought, '_shit did you just say that out loud? Shit did you just say _that _out loud?! Okay act cool. Close your mouth. Close. Your. Mouth. GoddamnitGailcloseyourfuckingmouth!' Okay. Good. Now speak. Don't sound stupid!'_

"So, that's a '_no_'?!" Gail pretended to be outraged. Holly just laughed and turned back to look at Gail who had yet to turn away from her passenger. Holly cupped Gail's chin with her left thumb and index finger and gently turned Gail's head so that she was facing the windshield for the first time since getting in the car.

"Drive. I don't eat airplane food."

Gail quickly directed her anxiety and frustration on the people and cars swarming the airport. Some people just really shouldn't be allowed to drive, or walk really. Car horns really are the best thing since sliced bread. She's listening to what Holly's saying about the conference, she really is, but she's not really understanding any of it. Gail hates when people talk for no reason, she'd much rather they keep quiet, but she likes listening to Holly even when she can't really make heads or tails of what she's talking about. Gail especially hates it when people talk just because they like the sound of their own voice, there are few worse qualities a person can possess. Holly's not one of those though. Gail likes listening to Holly because it's so obvious to that Holly cares about what she's talking about; not herself.

"I swear though there were probably eight doctors there who weren't elderly men. Oh! I saw-" Holly was cut off by her ringtone's shrill note. She looked at the screen, not recognizing the number, "Doctor Holly Stewart," she almost asked. Gail glanced over at Holly for a second, silently asking what was up but it looked as though Holly was wondering the same thing, her mouth open and brow furrowed.

"Summer? Slow down. You're _where_?"

**A/N: Hey guys! Thanks for all the reviews, views, and such so far! Let me know what you like and what you don't because I'll totally take that stuff into consideration. Also, I'm not Canadian so if I'm messing anything at all "Canadian living" wise yell at me and I'll totally fix it!**


	4. Chapter 4: Head Out The Window Again

'Oh shit' is pretty much all Gail can think at first because this is not good, repeat not good. She listened quietly as Dov explained how he and Oliver had been called to a nearby semi-undergound concert hall for a disturbance. That disturbance happened to be Summer and some of her friends.  
"We wouldn't have had to bring her in if she had just given us her name," Dov explained, "and because we did, we had to search her and..." Dov trailed off and looked away from Holly and looked Gail in the eye. She gave him her best 'what are you looking at me for?!' face and spat out, "and", prompting him to continue.  
"And...we found drugs on her," Dov said, looking Holly in the eye again.  
"Where is she?"  
"She's in 'Interview Two', I can take you in if you want."  
"Yeah, thanks Dov," Holly replied with a weak smile. Dov nodded while motioning for her to follow him down the hall.  
"Look, we haven't booked her yet, I'll see what I can do."  
"Thanks Dov, I'm really sorry about this, she doesn't usually get into any trouble. I don't really know what's going on here."  
"No problem," Dov smiled as he opened the door to the interview room, "I'll be back in a few." Holly stepped into the room, worried about what she'd find, who she'd find. Holly really couldn't see Summer causing a public disturbance, that wasn't her little sister. Holly was eleven when Summer was born and it was no secret that she nearly worshiped her older sister. Holly wonders if that's true anymore. Sure, Summer had always been more adventurous than Holly and their brother, definitely more creative; a wilder child, but not a "wild child". Holly always saw her sister as intelligent, caring, maybe a little eager to please, but overall she was cool, confident.  
"Hol, thank god you came! I thought they were going to leave me in here forever." Holly was instantly snapped back to reality by her sister's exasperated voice.  
"Summer, what is going on? You got arrested. Wait are you drunk?"  
"Probs not anymore...Hol, no worries, it's not a big deal. "Disorderly conduct" is such a stretch, I like wasn't even involved."  
"It's a Monday night, what were you doing?! You have school."  
"I don't have school tonight."  
"You have class tomorrow right? You're drunk. Summer, they said you had drugs on you? Seriously what's up?" This was seriously not where, or how Holly had ever imagined she'd be spending her night. Blindsided was one to describe it. But she was also worried about her sister. Summer had always been braver than she was, fearless almost, but not stupid or careless.  
"Well technically-" but Summer was interrupted by knock on the door, and when it opened Steve Peck walked inside, followed by Gail and Dov.  
"Oh no, Steve, what are you doing here?" Now Holly was really worried.  
"Guns and Gangs babyy!"  
"Steve!" Gail hissed through gritted teeth.  
Silence.  
"Rough crowd tonight? Sorry, I'm here to help actually. Summer, right?"  
Summer looked up at Holly, who was this guy? Was she in super deep shit now? Holly nodded at her as if saying 'get on with it, idiot.'  
"Um, yeah. Summer Stewart."  
Steve looked back at Gail and smirked but turned back to Summer when we was just met with an exaggerated eye roll.  
"Great, Ms. Stewart Officer Epstein informs me that you were found at the scene of a disturbance and that he tried to issue you a notice to appear but that you wouldn't supply your name or identification?" Summer nodded so Steve continued, "Thus giving him to no choice but to bring you back to the station, forcing you to submit to a search at which point Salvia was found in your belongings."  
"Soulda ditched that at the club," Gail couldn't help herself, it was just too true. Dov cracked a smile, Holly not so much.  
"Anyways, the legality of Salvia is still kind of...tricky, and possession is an even trickier, so long as you're not selling. It's really not worth our time or money to charge you for that. So we're gonna write you up for the disorderly and you'll have to pay a fine. You'll be eligible for a pardon in a few years. If you want to fight it you probably could, especially since Officer Epstein over here was vastly outnumbered by the hoodlums at the scene.  
"Grool. But there's no way I letting that stay on my record. Evan can be my lawyer."  
"Um, no he can't," Holly rolled her eyes at her sister, "he's only in law school. He hasn't taken, let alone passed, the Bar yet." Holly was getting impatient with how nonchalant her younger sister was being. Where was the sister who tried to keep up with Holly on her road bike with a one speed tricycle, who always tried to stay home "sick" when Holly was home on breaks from University. "Mom can get someone for you, I mean she probably can't do it, but she'll get someone good."  
"Hol, have you gone mental?! We are not telling Mom and Dad, they'll think I'm even more of a screw up than they already do," Summer was practically crying at this point. Gail felt a little more in her element here. How many times had she asked Steve for help, making him promise not to tell their parents? How many times had Gail simply made Steve promise not to tell their parents? How many times had Steve made Gail promise not tell their parents something? Tons and tons of times. But she and Steve had never been arrested. This was kinda serious, 'get your head back in the game, Peck.'  
"Come on, you're only 19, you're not a screw up, and they don't think you're a screw up."  
"Well you and Ev sure make me look like one."  
"Summer come on, I'm far from put-together." All Gail could think was 'well that's a lie. Good thing I kept that one to myself.'  
"Holly are you kidding me?! Ev and you are like the perfect children, he graduated top of his class, went and saved the world, and now he's like killing it in law school. You've always been the perfect daughter, never gave mom and dad any trouble, graduated top of your class at med school, you've got like a real job. You're even gay which is basically cool now, you get points for that too."  
Frozen. Gail Peck is frozen. Immobile. 'Do I have a pulse right now? Did that really just happen?' Even Dov had gone white as a sheet, and his mouth was hanging open a little. All Gail can do is watch as Holly silently rises from her chair and walks swiftly out the door of the interview room.

**A/N: Yikes, Summer sure has a big mouth...what's up with this girl? Let me know what you think! The next chapter should be up real soon, maybe even tonight...**


	5. Chapter 5: You Buy Me Orange Juice

"Hol, wait."

'_Did I just say that? Did Summer? Yeah, I'm definitely too paralyzed to speak,' _Gail concludes. Steve's gaze has landed on his shoes and has stayed right there, unmoving. Suddenly it's like a light has turned on and Gail is following Holly out the door, with Steve hot on her heels. Gail hears the door click shut and Steve is at her side, matching her step for step.

"Can you take Lindsey Lohan in there home? Wait do you think Traci would mind? She can be scarier than you."

"Yeah, no problem I'll take care of it. I'll call you."

Gail offered a forced, closed lip smile as thanks. Steve just nods and gives her shoulder a squeeze as he turns back to go find Traci. Gail fumbles in her pocket for her keys as she uses her shoulder to push the door to the parking lot open. Gail unlocks her car with the remote causing the headlights to flash. For a second Holly is illuminated, standing with her arms crossed and head bowed. She immediately reaches for the door handle and slides into the passenger seat. Gail gingerly gets in the car and turns the key in the ignition. She doesn't know where they're going, _if_ they're going but it was freezing and Gail wasn't about to die in the parking lot. Holly sits tall, unmoving, with her back flat against the seat, and the her head pressed against the headrest. Her eyes are closed; she'd pushed her glasses onto the top of her head. This was a first for Gail. Sure, Gail had seen Holly mad before, but that was usually 'Dr. Stewart' who was mad. But was she even mad? Or just hurt? Like really, really hurt? Gail hadn't met Summer before, wait did she actually meet her? Whatever, she didn't really know what their relationship was like, or what Summer was like. '_Gail, say something, but don't be an idiot. Don't be an idiot.'_ After much deliberation and inner turmoil Gail reached across the console and tucked her hand into Holly's, stroking tan knuckles with a pale thumb. The car was silent except for the gentle hum of the idling engine and Holly's long exhale.

Gail decided to break the silence, "I'm sorry."

"Ugh, don't be."

"Too late," Gail cheerily said with an exaggerated smile.

"Thanks for calling Steve. You didn't have to do that. You probably shouldn't have done that."

"It's fine, he loves it."

Silence.

"Steve's gonna get her home."

"Thanks," Holly sounds relieved.

More silence.

"Wanna go home? Or we could go get drunk, or I could take you to the range?"

"Ha, I think I just wanna go home," Holly replied, still facing the windshield.

"Of course," Gail gave Holly's hand a squeeze before she moved her hand to put the car in reverse and drive off. It as a quiet drive, Gail didn't really know what to do or say. She'd never really seen Holly hurt before; was she mad, or just sad? What was it like to have a sister? Gail fought with Steve sometimes, sure, but they'd never struck a nerve like _that_. Maybe it was because he knew he had it easier than Gail, with their mom at least. Maybe it was because he was her big brother. Maybe Steve was a better guy than even Gail gave him credit for. Maybe they were just lucky. Gail made a mental note to save Steve a doughnut next time. Should she say something? Or should she be quiet. Why does she always have to be so awkward. Hungry. Gail was _so _hungry.

"Are you hungry?" Gail asked as they rode the elevator up to Holly's apartment.

"Not really."

Holly's stomach growled.

"Actually, I'm starving," Holly admits as she unlocks her door, and Gail chuckles.

"Pizza? Chinese? Thai? Korean? Mexican? Burgers? Sushi?" Gail hopes Holly doesn't want Korean, she hates Korean.

"You hate Korean."

"That is true, but I'd order Korean for you," Holly smiled, "and then I'd order something else for me." That made Holly laugh, so Gail smiled.

"I don't really care, surprise me. I think I'm just gonna go take a shower real quick. Airplanes make me feel gross." Holly walked into her room, leaving Gail and the elephant alone. Gail called Holly's favorite Thai place and put in an order for delivery. Food: check. Figuring out what to do next: not check. Gail went over to Holly's suitcase and dumped its contents into the washing machine. Doing laundry after trips was the worst, so Gail started it for Holly. Gail looked around the apartment, feeling a little less inept. Her eyes landed on the stove and she thought '_tea!'_ Tea always makes people feel better right? Gail got out two mugs, two tea bags, the cream, and hopped up onto the kitchen counter, waiting for the water to boil. The second the kettle started to scream Gail snatched it off the stove and poured the water into the mugs. She rests her head against the cupboard with her eyes closed and waits for the tea to steep. Gail didn't realize how tired she was until now. She didn't really sleep well while Holly was gone, and today had been a long day. No, today had been a _very _long day.

Gail opens her eyes when she hears Holly shuffling towards her. She was wearing a pair of baggy sweats and moccasin slippers. Gail thought she looked adorable, too bad she was sad. Holly was definitely sad, even if she was mad.

"You made tea?"

"Yup," Gail replied pouring cream into one of the mugs for herself.

Holly took the other mug, taking a sip, and then placed it back on the counter. Gail took hold of the sleeve of Holly's sweatshirt and tugged until Holly was standing in front of her. Holly fell into Gail's embrace and Gail tightened her hold on the brunette with her arms and legs. Gail could feel Holly exhale into her chest. Holly was so good, so nice, so smart, so caring, and that's why it hurt Gail to see her like this. Holly was so _good_. Gail kissed the top of her head and then her forehead. Holly looked up at Gail who was just smiling down at her.

"I missed my nerd," Gail said, kissing Holly's forehead once again.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Holly deflected, lightly pinching Gail's sides.

"Ow!" Gail squeeled, cupping Holly's cheeks, leaning down, waiting for Holly to meet her halfway. Their kiss was slow and soft. Gail had missed this, she'd missed this so much. Holly pulled away, nuzzling her head back into the crook of Gail's chest. She took another sip of her tea, stroking Holly's long dark locks. Gail was roused from her thoughts with the sound of the buzzer, '_dinner!_'

"Oh, whatdya get?"

"Suprises," Gail replied, jumping off the counter and hurrying to the door.

They sat quietly on the couch picking through the take out containers, both not really realizing how hungry they were until Holly's coffee table was full of takeout. Gail figured she should bring it up, Holly is such a talker, she probably needs to talk about it.

"So, do you wanna talk about what happened with your sister and all? If you don't want to talk about it that's fine, but if you want to talk about it we'll talk about it. Or you can yell about it if you want, yelling's allowed too," there, she said it. Gail didn't even know she could talk that fast but apparently she could. Holly managed a half smile, she couldn't help it, Gail's yelling comment was cute.

"She's not a bad person, she just...I don't know what's up with her. She's usually such a sweetheart."

"Well, sure was a unique way to meet your sister."

"I'm kind of worried about her, like what was she doing getting drunk basically on a Monday night? Evening? Afternoon? God! I didn't know she did drugs? Like what the hell, she's an _athlete_."

Gail's phone buzzed, "Steve says Traci took her home, said she was kind of a mess but calmed down."

"Tell him I said 'thanks', I told my brother to go check on her, so she can be his problem for now."

"I did this "goth" thing for a couple years, basically to piss my mom off. It worked too."

"Oh dear," Holly groaned as she rested her head against the back of the couch.

"Yeah it was pretty bad. I'm pretty sure I've gotten rid of all the pictures, so if you ever tell anyone I'll completely deny it."

"Drat."

"One day Steve told me that mom was pretty much over it, and kinda pointed out that I actually wasn't into it, so I stopped...I think I hated it almost as much as my mom did."

"Yikes."

"Yeah it was bad."

They sat in silence for a little while longer picking at what was left of the food.

"I'm pretty tired, I think I'm just gonna head to bed now," Holly said, rising from her seat and picking up a few empty containers.

Gail quickly sat up and took the empty containers out of Holly's hands, "I got this, you go ahead."

"Are you sure?"

"I think I can handle it, but if I'm not back in ten minutes you can call ETF."

Holly was already in bed staring up at the ceiling when Gail finally crawled under the covers. Today had been _such _a long day and it turned out that the lunchtime drunks Gail had to arrest were only the beginning.

"Hol, you're thinking _super_ loud," which in 'Gail' translates to 'tell me what you're thinking.'

"Sorry, what?" Holly had definitely been off in her own little world.

"You okay?"

"It hurt. What she said. I feel like it shouldn't have. But it did."

"Sometimes people say stuff and it hurts, even when they didn't mean it to, even when you don't want it to hurt, and it's the worst," Gail said, laying on her side facing Holly, who was still staring at the ceiling.

"It wasn't easy you know?" Holly rolls onto her side, now she and Gail are face to face, "I'm proud of who I am, I really am, but it was hard. My parents are great, they were great, but it was still really hard. I don't think she get's that. Who I am isn't a joke you know?" Gail rolled onto her back, tugging Holly along with her. "I missed you too. I missed you a lot." Gail stroked Holly's hair, her head on Gail's chest, until she could tell the by the change in the brunette's breathing that she had fallen asleep. She had barely even met her, and boy was she being a brat, but damn, Summer sure did remind Gail of herself.

**A/N:** **Hey guys! Sorry I didn't get the chapter up as soon as I had hoped, I didn't want to post it just to post it, and I didn't want it to be just a filler. The next one will actually be up by the end of tomorrow for sure though. Let me know what you think!**


	6. Chapter 6: I'm Never Going to Get Enough

**A/N: Here's little freebee guys. I updated only a few hours ago so if you missed dinner, you missed a chapter.**

Gail awoke the next morning in Holly's bed, but she started to think she was alone. No, she was definitely alone. Good thing she was wearing her socks. What time was it? Where was Holly? Damn, it was barely light out. Gail squinted at the alarm clock on the nightstand. That can't be right. Could it? 5:30 in the morning? This could not be real. Then Gail noticed the note on the nightstand that Holly always left when she went for a run in the morning, complete with a jogging stick figure. Gail looked at her phone confirming that it actually was as early as the alarm was telling her it was. She didn't have to be into work until 8; time to go back to sleep.

"Gail. Gail wake up," Holly sang into Gail's ear as she rubbed her arm.

"Mmm whatt? What time is it?"

"Shhhh it's still early but I'm going in early so I can catch up on some stuff before everyone else gets there and wants a piece of me. But I made scones for Steve, Dov, and Traci so bring them with you to work. They're on the counter in a tupperware, just don't forget them."

"Can I have one?"

"I know you will. I gotta go but I'll talk to you later," Hollly gave Gail a kiss, "go back to sleep," and stood to made her way towards the door but Gail grabbed her wrist and pulled her down for another kiss, a longer kiss.

"Okay, you can go now."

Holly gave Gail one last kiss on the forehead and stood to leave.

"What time is it?" Gail groaned.

"6:30!" Holly answered from the doorway.

"Oh godddd! Gail groaned as she threw the covers back over her head. At least she had another half hour before her alarm went off.

* * *

Gail grabbed the container of scones as she rushed out the door of Holly's apartment. She opened the lid of the container as she turned her car on, and took a first bite as she turned onto the street.

"_Damn, _this is _good!_" Gail exclaimed out loud. She wasn't really a scone person. She loved her donuts, croissants were great too. Sure, Gail liked scones, but they were never her first pick. Buy holy smokes these cinnamon walnut scones Holly had made were _so good_.

"Hey Gail! Whadya got there?" Chris asked, catching up to Gail as they entered the station.

"They're not for you," Gail quickly shut Chris down, making a beeline for the locker room.

She was buttoning the last few buttons on her uniform when Traci walked up to Gail's locker, "guess who has the immense pleasure of riding with me today?"

"This kid?" Gail guessed.

"Bingo. We're gonna go bust a "Bling Ring" wannabe crew at Branksome Hall."

"Gal time, can't wait. Guess who get's a scone?"

"Um, me?" Traci questioned.

"Yahtzee. Baked fresh this morning as a little thank you for driving Princess Stewart home last night."

"Gail, _you_ _baked_ these scones?" Traci wasn't biting.

"_Why_ is that so _hard_ to believe?" Gail tried to act insulted.

"It's not...but if you baked them I'm going to have to respectfully decline. I already ate breakfast," Traci smiled.

"_Fiiine_, _Holly_ baked them this morning and they're absolutely amazing, and she's totally gonna ask you later to make sure I didn't trick you into not eating one. They're safe."

"Oh, well in that case," Traci reached into the tupperware and grabbed one.

"And _Detective_, I never said that _I_ baked them. I said 'baked fresh this morning'."

"These are _SO GOOD,_" Traci said, swatting Gail's shoulder, "come on, we're skipping parade; I'm briefing you." Gail grabbed her coat and the scones and followed Traci out of the locker room.

As they walked up to the detectives' office Gail spotted Steve at his desk looking displeased with his coffee.

"I baked these for you, to show my undying gratitude for being the least smelly brother in all of North America," Gail said, sidling up to Steve and putting the tupperware in front of him. Steve looked up at her with a look of confusion and, was that fear Gail detected?

"It's okay, Holly made them," Traci explained from behind Gail.

"Ahhh," Steve said smiling as he picked the biggest scone out of the box.

"Thanks for being so 'Captain Cragen' last night. But you know, I'm starting to really be upset with the lack of confidence you two have in my baking abilities," Gail said, once again feigning insult.

* * *

Once Traci had finished briefing Gail they went downstairs to head to the school.

"Hey Epstein, you slumming it on desk today?"

"Why yes, yes I am Gail. Gonna go hang with some tweeny boppers I hear?"

"Actually," Gail said, leaning on the welcome desk with the scones in front of her, "I'm thinking of leaving this all behind. I think I'm gonna open up a bakery. You wanna go halfsies? I baked these this morning. They're pretty delish," Gail smirked.

"Okay, what's going on here? Is this a joke? Are these like confiscated pot scones?"

"What? Dov, I made these for _you _as a thank you for arresting slash not arresting Holly's _dear, dear, _sister."

"Dov, Holly made them. Come on Gail, we gotta go," Traci said, laughing to herself.

"Here Sparky, you can have the rest to keep you company today," Gail pushed herself off of the desk, "Traci, why do you have to_ always_ ruin my fun?"

**A/N: Hey readers! This chapter was mostly setup/filler but I'll probably have the next one up sometime tomorrow. I was going to have this as part of the next chapter but I just couldn't help myself and I think they would have just been too long together. Let me know what you think! Thanks for all the views/reviews/follows so far, you guys are great!**


	7. Chapter 7: Because You Always Love Me

**A/N: Hey guys! As promised, here's the next chapter! It starts off with texts between Gail and Holly, I wasn't quite sure how to format it but I hope it worked out okay!**

**12:17 P.M.**_Gail: Have you seen "The Bling Ring"?_

**12:21 P.M. **_Holly: That Emma Watson movie? Can't say I have..._

**12:22 P.M. **_Gail: Me neither. I imagine it's a "Mean Girls" / "Gossip Girl" / "Ocean's Eleven" hybrid, and right now I'm living in it. But Traci and I are getting Chinese for lunch so that rocks.  
_**12:22 P.M.** _Gail: How's work?_

**12:23 P.M. **_Holly: Sounds horrible. Have you seen "Birds"?_

**12:24 P.M. **_Gail: Yes..._

**12:24 P.M. **_Holly: It's like I'm the girl in the phone booth and the interns are the birds.  
_**12:24 P.M. **_Holly: With scalpels..._

**12:25 P.M. **_Gail: Don't. Die._

* * *

Holly had almost made it through the paperwork she needed to catch up on when she heard a knock at her door. Today had been a never ending stream of people needing her for something. Interns and residents needing their work checked, supervisors needing her results, journals needing revisions, med students needing tours, the email system even needed her to change her password. She'd been at work for nearly eleven hours, but finally the interns had all left and she was finally _almost_ finished with the paperwork that had been waiting upon her return. She had been completely in the zone and the nock at the door had startled her. Holly's head shot up from her desk to find Summer hovering in the doorway.

"Summer, hey, what are doing here? How'd you get in?"

"Well, I'm actually the walking dead; Mom and Dad killed me last night, obviously, I'm your newest case."

"Yeah thats not funny," Holly thought it was little funny, pretty morbid, but she wasn't going to let Summer know that.

"Yeah, you know what else isn't funny? Saying that your parents like your sister more than you because she's gay, or that being gay is some trivial part of who you are. I was like the worst sister ever yesterday Holls and I'm _so_ sorry."

"It's okay."

"Not really it's not. I mean I know it was hard for you to come out and stuff. I mean Dad was _so awkward_, and that couldn't have been the hardest part. I mean I'm pretty perceptive and I spent pretty much my entire childhood idolizing you so _I _wasn't surprised."

"I remember," Holly couldn't help but laugh a little.

"Well anyways, you've pretty much been my hero my entire life, and I've been like a 'Mean Girls' level screw up brat." Holly wondered what was up with all the Mean Girls references today.

"Yeah, well, you just never saw me screw up because I was older and you didn't know any better."

"You are such a liar," Summer laughed, "I even heard Dad say as much, '_I just don't understand, Holly was never like this_."

"Yeah well Dad has a selective memory then. Remember when I broke a rib sledding at University? I was _drunk,_ like wasted. I don't remember any of it."

"NO!WAY!" Summer exclaimed, "what do you know? Perfect Holly Stewart made a mistake. Anyways I really doubt Dad knows about that little detail, we'd _know_ if he knew about that."

"Oh yeah...maybe her never found out. I wasn't a minor so maybe the doctors never told them. So now _you're_ never allowed to tell them!" Holly threatened.

"Not gonna lie, I can be bought pretty easily."

"Come on, I'll buy you dinner," Holly stood up and started to gather her things.

"Actually, dinner's on me, well actually dinner's on Dad. Last night he gave me sixty bucks and told me to take you to dinner after I apologized."

"Nice, go Dad!"

"I'm pretty sure Mom just told him to do that so that I could get the "411" on "Your Cop" though..." Summer said with a smirk, "don't worry, my lips are sealed. They said you're _required_ to bring her to dinner next Sunday though."

"Ahhh, okay let's go," Holly said with a laugh as she turned out the lights in her office and made her way to the door.

* * *

"Gail, your phone's ringing," Chris called from their table at The Penny.

"Not now Chief, I'm in the zone," Gail was concentrating hard at the dart board. She was _so _close to beating Dov. Gail loved winning, really she hated to lose. But Gail did actually _love_ beating Dov.

"It's Holly."

"Well answer it then, I'm almost done mopping the floor here."

"Hey Holly, it's actually Chris. Gail's a little preoccupied at the dart board right now, but she said she'd be done in a sec," he said into the phone.

_"Oh, hey Chris. Well did Gail give you any of the scones I made this morning?"_

"She said 'not for you' and walked away, but Dov gave me one later. It was really great. I'm okay at baking, I mostly stick to muffins, but scones are really hard, how did you-" but Chris never got to finish his question because Gail had swiped her phone right out of his hand.

"Hey, how was dinner?"

_"Gail? Oh, it was good. You guys at The Penny?"_

"Affirmative. I just _destroyed_ Dov at darts."

"_Well...if you wanted to come over and _celebrate..." Holly's words trailed off.

"Is this a _booty call?_" Gail smirked into the phone.

"_Only one way for you to find out, Officer Peck._"

_"_I'm leaving now. Wait! I might be a little drunk, well not drunk, but over the legal limit?"

_"Are you asking me to be your DD?"_

"I picked you up at the airport, it's really the least you could do."

"_I suppose. I'm actually only a few minutes away, I just dropped Summer off at her dorm."_

_ "_Yippee."

* * *

"Wait, you never told me how dinner was," Gail said, pulling away from Holly's lips.

Holly backed away from Gail, threw her coat onto the sofa, and started unbuttoning her shirt while walking backwards toward her bedroom, "do you _really_ want to _talk_ right now?"

Gail's throat went dry as coiled heat shot to her stomach like a meteor. Gail definitely did not want to talk right now. Definitely not.

**A/N: Thanks for all the ****views/reviews/follows! They really keep me going. Fair warning, I don't know when the next chapter will be up, I know where I'm going with the story but things start to get a little more complicated now and I don't want to rush things now. Hang in there though! 3**


	8. Chapter 8: Watch Me Fall, Down to Earth

**A/N: I'm just going to stop predicting when I'll be updating next because I'm _always_ wrong.**

"Monday you can fall apart, Tuesday, Wednesday break my heart, Thursday doesn't even start, It's Friday I'm in love," Gail belted out the lyrics in the car, "come on Chris! Sing along."

"But Friday, never hesitate," Chris joined in until their squad car's radio crackled to life.

_ "1504 we've got a disturbance, possible trespass at UT Athletic Centre, 55 Harbord. Campus police requesting backup."_

Chris reached for the radio, "copy, mark 1504 responding."

_ "Copy 1504. Be advised subject is possible 10-37."_

"Copy dispatch."

"Excellent, drunk gym goers no doubt trying to make a "Harlem Shake" video. That fad is _so over,_" Gail was not looking forward to this one.

"Not gonna disagree on that one, although you never know, maybe it's a "Wrecking Ball" video."

"That would be disgusting. Everyone better be wearing clothes or you're on your own."

* * *

"I don't like this, it's too quiet," Gail said suspiciously.

"Friday afternoon on campus, everyone's probably halfway to drunk by now." Gail was right, the gym seemed pretty empty.

"Are you the officers that were called about the disturbance?" The girl at the main desk called out to Chris and Gail.

"Yes ma'am, we were told there was a possible trespass," Chris answered.

"The swim coach called it in, he's in the weight room with his team, the campus police officers are searching the building now," the girl filled them in.

"Thanks, where's the weight room?" Chris asked.

"Down the hall, take a right at the end, you can't miss it; glass walls."

"Great, thanks for you help," Chris called as they started down the hall.

"You have _got_ to be kidding me. This is a joke," Gail groaned as they turned at the end of the hall.

"What? What's wrong?" Chris was worried.

"Well if you want Holly's sister's number you can get it yourself. She's deadlifting over there next to Helga Pataki."

"Oh boy."

"Ugh, let's do this thing," Gail took a deep breath as she yanked the door open to the weight room. A man in a blue, UT track suit immediately approached the officers. '_Great, this must be the coach,_' Gail thought to herself.

"Hi officers, I'm Bryan Donaldson, the swimming head coach. One of our former coaches showed up at practice today, I'm pretty sure he was drunk, or high on something. We had a verbal non-trespass on him for the campus but since this happened I'd like to file one with the police department."

"Well, Mr. Donaldson, I'm officer Diaz. This is my partner, Officer Peck. Was he armed?"

"No, no, he didn't have any weapons."

"We're going to need to take your statement about what happened earlier, as well as the statements of anyone else who witnessed - uh -"

"Derrek Johnson," the coach informed Chris.

"Thank you, we'll need the statement of anyone who witnessed Mr. Johnson's activity today. I can get started on your statement now."

Gail turned to the rest of the room, "Okay, listen up Missy Franklin wannabes, my name is Officer Peck. Officer Diaz here and I are going to have to come around to take all of your statements about what happened earlier. Just tell us what you saw and nothing that you didn't. Pigtails, you're up first," Gail walked up to the girl who was doing lunges with free weights.

"I'm officer Peck, can you tell me your name and anything about the incident that you saw?"

"Um, my name's Susie Jones, but I was in the locker room when Derrek busted into the gym. I only heard about it, I didn't see anything."

"Susie Jones? Is that a joke? Lemme guess, you were in the locker room doing your hair?"

"Well...yeah," Susie said, obviously intimated by Officer Ice Pick.

"Thanks for you time Susie," Gail said with an eye roll as she walked down to the girl next to Susie. "Alright 'Squats', you're next. Did you see the incident earlier?"

"Actually I was in the trainers room, getting my knee taped, sorry."

"Excellent," Gail said, moving along. She glanced over at Chris who was still talking to the coach '_gosh hurry up, Chris!' _Gail thought to herself. "Hi, I'm Officer Peck, is there anything you can tell me about the incident earlier?"

The girl stood up to face Gail from the bench where she was doing bent rows. '_Great, fucking great. God damnit Chris, why do you have to talk so slowly?' _Gail cursed in her head_._

_ "_Officer Peck," Summer smiled, "as in, Holly's Officer Peck? It's nice to officially meet you, I'm Summer," she offered her hand politely to Gail.

"Pleasure," Gail smiled her biggest smile, "so Summer, did you see what happened earlier?"

"Yeah totally, I was already in the weight room when he came in, def seemed drunk or high or something. He was screaming at coach about wrongful termination or something, totally redic."

"Have you had any contact with Mr. Johnson?" Finally someone who was actually there, why did it have to be Holly's sister?

"I mean, not that much. I'm only a second year, and he was let go after last season. Plus he worked mainly with the breast strokers. But he was like, mad good, back when he was still swimming. But then I guess he hurt his knee and couldn't get the same range of motion, so he had to retire. But he went like totally bonkers, that's what everyone was talking about last year."

"Hey Gail," Chris approached Gail and Summer, "I just finished talking to the coach. The campus police found the guy in the pool area. They're going to escort him to the hospital."

"Eggcellent," Gail replied cooly, "I've already done those two, why don't you start at the other end of the room."

"Sure thing," Chris smiled and walked over the other end of the room to start interviewing.

* * *

"Do you wanna grab coffee on the way back or wait until we get to the station?" Chris asked as he and Gail walked out of the weight room.

"Immediately," was Gail's answer.

"Hey, Gail wait up!"

'_Oh boy,' _Gail thought,_ 'here it comes.'_

"I just wanted to say thanks, and sorry for the other night. You totally saved my ass."

"Don't mention it," Gail smiled, wanting to get out there as quickly as possible.

"Stewart, let's go!" Her coach called from the doorway.

"Well, gotta run, see you at Sunday dinner yeah? Don't worry, my parents are kinda crazy weird, but they're really nice," Summer said cheerily as she ran back to her team.

"Later," was all Gail could come up with. Sunday dinner? With Holly's parent's? What was this girl smoking? Holly hadn't said anything about Sunday dinner.

"You ready for that coffee?" Chris asked, easily aware that something was up.

"Definitely."

"You didn't tell me you were having dinner at Holly's parent's," Chris decided to push it a little bit.

"Actually, it's Holly who didn't tell me about dinner," Gail said accusingly.

"Maybe she just forgot? I wouldn't worry about it, Gail," Chris could see a freakout coming, and he tried to put out the fire as best he could.

She just stared him down, dead in the eyes. Chris had pretty much become immune to her stares though. Now he knew they were more telling of how vulnerable she was feeling, well, most of the time.

"How 'bout that coffee?" Chris asked cheerily, willing to the change the subject for Gail's sake.

* * *

"Hey guys," Holly said cheerily. Gail, Chris, Dov, Traci, and Steve were all gathered around a table at the Penny. Everyone called out their hellos but Gail just smiled and took another sip from her drink. Holly was a little thrown off, but she didn't miss a beat, "I'm gonna grab a drink, does anybody want anything?" Holly asked the group.

"I'm gonna order some food, I'll come with," Chris said, quickly rising from his chair.

"She's freakin' out about dinner," Chris whispered to Holly as soon as they were out of earshot of the table.

"Excuse me?" Holly asked, confused.

"Today your sister said something about Dinner at your parents on Sunday," Chris explained. They both gave the bartender their order and then returned to the conversation that had left Holly incredibly confused.

"Wait, where was my sister? Is she in trouble _again?_" Holly was getting anxious.

"No, no, we got a call about a trespass at the UT gym at the end of shift. She was at practice."

"Oh, thank god. Wait what did she say to Gail?"

"She said something about seeing her at your parents for Sunday dinner, she was being nice. Look I don't know what's going on but you need to talk to her because she'll just stew in it for days. I don't think the city would survive," Chris said with a chuckle, trying to keep the mood light.

"Yeah, probably not," Holly agreed, "shit...thanks Chris. If she were older I'd totally set you up with my sister," she added, with a wink.

"Wah, she _told you_ about that?" Chris stammered.

"Dov did," Holly answered with a laugh. Dov had told her the other day, so had Gail, but Holly wasn't about to throw her under the bus. "But she'd be lucky to find someone like you," Holly gave Chris a pat on the back. Crap crap crap she was in trouble.

* * *

**A/N: Ah, Summer means so well, but why didn't Holly tell Gail about dinner? Thanks for all the feedback guys! It keeps me going, so hit me up with a review XOXO**


	9. Chapter 9: Erased My Fears for the Night

_ "She said something about seeing her at your parents for Sunday dinner, she was being nice. Look I don't know what's going on but you need to talk to her because she'll just stew in it for days. I don't think the city would survive," Chris said with a chuckle, trying to keep the mood light._

_ "Yeah, probably not," Holly agreed, "shit...thanks Chris. If she were older I'd totally set you up with my sister," she added, with a wink._

_ "Wah, she _told you _about that?" Chris stammered._

_ "Dov did," Holly answered with a laugh. Dov had told her the other day, so had Gail, but Holly wasn't about to throw her under the bus. "But she'd be lucky to find someone like you," Holly gave Chris a pat on the back. Crap crap crap she was in trouble._

* * *

_ "_I'm going to get another drink," Gail told the table, not waiting for a response before making a beeline for the bar. Chris was being weird and she didn't like it. Plus he and Holly were taking _forever_ at the bar. Chris was like a dog with a bone with this whole "dinner" thing. Why couldn't Chris just mind his own business. But worse, why was Chris always right when Gail just wanted him to shut up? "Didn't anyone ever tell you guys that blondes have more fun?" Gail asked, walking up to Chris and Holly, while giving Chris her best 'don't make me want to kill you' look.

"Gail, have you met Denise? That's total crap," Chris laughed.

"She's not a _real _blonde," Gail sneered. Holly raised her eyebrows as a challenge but Gail pretended not to see. "Dov says that he's thirsty and that you owe him a beer," Gail told Chris. Chris just smirked as the bartender brought his burger over to him. Chris ordered Dov a beer and then excused himself back to the table.

"What'dya get?" Gail asked.

"Tacosss," Holly answered with a lift of her eyebrows.

"Yummay!"

"Well...Korean pork belly tacos," Holly smiled.

"Well that's gross," Gail rolls her eyes, "did you just get that so I won't take any?"

"I'll never tell," Holly smiled wickedly. "Hey, Chris told me that you guys saw Summer today," her tone turning serious.

"Yeah, we had a super great time with the whole team. Chris even wore his Speedo, wanna see the pics?" Gail winked.

"Gail, he said that she mentioned dinner at my parents'?" Holly inquired in a concerned tone.

"That bastard," Gail turned to glare in Chris's general direction.

"Gail, I-"

"Can we not do this here?" Gail pleaded, turning back to look at Holly.

"What? Oh, thanks," Holly turned her attention to the bartender who had just put her food down, before looking back at Gail.

"Just not now, not here. Please?"

"Yeah, okay." '_Damn_,' Holly thought, '_Chris was right, Gail really is freaking out_.'

"Fries with your Tacos? Weird," Gail quickly changed the subject.

"Who says they're for me?"

"They better not be for Chris," Gail pushes herself off the side of the bar as Holly heads back to their table.

"He has his own," Holly called over her shoulder.

* * *

"So...why didn't you tell me about dinner at your parents'?" Gail asked throwing her bag, and then herself, onto Holly's couch. She was being forward. Way more so than she normally would be, but Gail didn't feel like she had to hide herself with Holly. "Is this like, not for real for you? I mean I know I'm not like easygoing, friendly, down to earth, 'meet the parents material,'" Gail trailed off and looked away from Holly.

"What?" Holly wasn't really that confused. She had been worried about this as soon as Chris told her that Summer had accidentally spilled the beans. "No. No, no, no, that's not true. That's not what why I didn't tell you," Holly sat down in the chair next to the couch and took off her glasses, rubbing her temples. "I'm really sorry, I should have told you, I wanted to tell you. It's not you," she needed to tell Gail the truth without mucking it up. "It's my family they're..." Holly searched for the right words.

"They're?" Gail prompted Holly to continue.

"They're a little much. They're a lot much. They're completely insane actually."

"Um, do you remember meeting my parents? Or did my mom drug you?" Gail didn't get it. Her parents were crazy. Well, her mom was crazy, and her dad was pretty whipped.

"Actually, I do remember that," Holly cracked a smile, "they're _too _nice, _too_ open, too chatty. You'll leave with a pair of mittens my mom knitted, and assorted baby pictures. Oh, and my dad will probably come over to fix some leak, or lightbulb or something or other."

"Aw, did you guys since 'So Long, Farewell' before bed like the von Trapp kids?" Gail joked.

"You don't get it. It's been an," Holly paused, "an issue before," Holly looked up at Gail's eyes, trying to gauge what she was thinking. "They're mortifying."

"You're afraid they're going to scare me off," Gail concluded, feeling a little more in tune to what was happening.

"They've pretty much run off everyone ever, eventually. One time," Holly paused again, "I'm _not_ proud of this, one time in university I was dating this girl, Cara, she was so nice, but definitely not looking for anything serious. She was just _so _boring. Like unbelievably so after like the first week or two. So I brought her to dinner...I felt really awful about it. It was so cowardly but...They scared her of so..."

"You _didn't_!" Gail was genuinely surprised.

"Like I said, that was like nine years ago, and I'm not proud of it," Holly looked up at the ceiling.

"Do you think I'm boring?" Gail asked.

"Are you joking? I'm not even going to dignify that with a response," Holly laughed and Gail smiled.

"You know," Gail thought out loud, "I've never really done the 'parents' thing. I mean, I never met Chris's mom, and Nick's parents died so...But I mean, I know how to use a fork and knife. My mom taught me to have a firm handshake when I was like four."

"You never shook my hand," Holly feigned insult.

"You should be so lucky," Gail rose from the couch and started to make her way to the bathroom looking a little dejected, but slightly relieved. Holly reached up and grabbed Gail's hand as she walked past her.

"Gail," Holly said, rubbing the top of Gail's hand gently with her thumb. Gail turned to look down at Holly who was looking up at her. "Would you come to dinner with my family on Sunday? They're the most embarrassing and scary ever and they've put a couple cracks in every relationship I've had. If they ran you off I'd probably never speak to them again. _But_ they're my family, they're really important to me, and so are you. You're so important. I like you a lot, Gail, and I really want them to meet you, and I want you to meet them. So, will you come to dinner on Sunday." Gail looked down at Holly with her head cocked to the side a little. Holly looked hopefully? Vulnerable? A little worried? Holly looked like she did when she had dragged Gail into the interrogation room weeks and weeks ago, and that made Gail smile.

Gail played it cool, shrugged her shoulders and said, "yeah, sure."

"Great," Holly beamed. A few seconds passed.

"Hol?"

"Yeah?"

"I really need to pee, so unless you're planning to escort me to the bathroom I need you to let go," Gail smiled, giving Holly's hand a light squeeze.

"Oh, yeah, of course," Holly laughed.

"I bet you were a cute baby, but I wanna see that headgear you told Chris about," Gail said, right before shutting the bathroom door.

Holly groaned, the knot in her stomaching making a reappearance.

* * *

Later that night Gail lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling, unable to sleep.

"Holly," Gail whispered into the blackened room, "you awake?"

No answer. Gail shifted in bed so that she was hovering over Holly's head.

"Holly, I just read on Twitter that they discovered a new element."

Silence.

"Holly...I love you." It was barely a whisper, but to Gail it sounded so loud in the silent room. Maybe that's because it was the truth. It echoed in her head over and over again. At first she dared not move, nervous that Holly had heard her, nervous that Holly hadn't heard her. Finally Gail dropped a kiss onto Holly's head before curling up around her sleeping form and, finally, drifted off to sleep.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, who's ready to meet the Stewarts? Raise your hand if you could use a little Gail/Traci time, because I sure could...**


	10. Chapter 10: My Love Old Fashioned

**A/N: Alright guys, here it is. This chapter is a little different and it's told with flashbacks as Gail tells Traci about dinner on Tuesday morning after shift. The flashbacks to Sunday night are in italics and Traci and Gail's convo is in plain font. I hope you guys enjoy it!**

"Come on Gail, spill it!" Traci was beaming. She needed deets, and she needed them now.

"Don't you have a small child to get home to?" Gail had just gotten of the night shift and she wanted to sleep, like hours ago.

"Come on, breakfast. Ya gotta eat," Traci reasoned. Maybe some pancakes soaked in maple syrup and bacon could get Gail to spill the beans. This elicited a contemplative look from Gail who then turned and headed for the door of the locker room, "you're buying, Nash."

* * *

_"Nervous?" Dov looked over from the passenger seat of their squad car._

_ "Meh, couple of hungover and drunk frat boys stumbling over each other? Shouldn't be that bad," Gail reasoned._

_ "No, I mean to meet Holly's parents. And brother I guess. We all met her sister," Dov laughed until his last comment earned him a smack to the chest. "Okay I'm sorry, I'm trying to be helpful here, we all know who you were raised by..."_

* * *

"Ugh, Traci, he seriously would not shut up. All. Shift. Long. I should be getting letters of commendation for not shooting him in the foot. He started coaching me about what we were gonna have for dinner? Seriously. Totally gonna prank him like there's no tomorrow."

"Yeah, I can imagine. But he cares, it's kinda of adorable in a way. He's having such a rough time with Chloe."

"Anways, back to feeling bad for me..."

* * *

_ "Oh well what do you know? We're here," Gail turned her head to Dov, plastered a huge smile on her face and then stepped out of the car. The bar wasn't crowded, it was a Sunday afternoon after all, which made locating the subjects of the 9-1-1 call incredibly easy. Apparently the two men had been arguing about a bet when one of them punched the other, leading to an all out brawl and damages to the bar. The bar tender was adamant that he wanted to press charges. After a minimal physical confrontation Gail and Dov put the two men under arrest and took the owner's statement, after calling another car to transport one of the drunks to the station, so as to keep them separate. They were waiting outside of their squad car with the second guy when Dov brought it up again, "so you know what you guys are having?" before Gail could answer their new friend piped up, "no way! How far along are you?"_

_ Dov pushed the guy so his back was to the wall again, "she's not pregnant you idiot." But the look Gail was giving him was worse than what Dov had just dished out. "Dinner, do you know what you're having for dinner?"_

* * *

"Wait?! The guy thought you were pregnant? Is he still alive?" Traci burst into laughter.

"Traci, I was in shock. Back to my story..."

* * *

_ "No, why would I know that? I'm not cooking."_

_ "Well, for one you're an extremely picky eater, second of all, you know, certain kinds of foods just might not sit well. You know, if it's really heavy, like _real _mac and cheese."_

_ "Woah, man. Take it easy with the cheese talk," their prisoner protested._

_ But Dov didn't hear him, "or you know, like Chinese, Thai, can sometimes just not go well, ya know, doesn't sit right?" Dov made a face, motioning to his stomach, right as his talk of ethnic food caused their prisoner to unload the contents of his stomach at their feat. Unfortunately for Dov and Gail, they were both in the splash zone._

* * *

"Gail, that's disgusting!"

"You're tellin' me..."

* * *

_ Gail, speechless, looked down at her feet, "shit. I hope they know I'm allergic to tomatoes."_

_ "Just in time," Dov proclaimed, as he saw the squad car they had called for transport pull up behind their car. "Call some medics for this guy. He just puked all over over our shoes," Dov forced a sarcastic smile._

_ "Enjoy," Gail smiled broadly at Andy and Nick as she got into her squad car, leaving them to clean up the mess while she and Dov drove away._

"Oof, Nick and Andy had to take him?"

"That they did," Gail said with a smirk, "but ya know? I feel kinda sorry for them, like talk about most awkward work environment _ever_..."

_"I'm just saying, when in doubt, smile and laugh. Just be nice, Gail, you can fake it right?" Dov tried to give Gail some last minute pointers as she finished up her paperwork for the day, Holly was picking her up for dinner after shift._

_ "That's horrible advice. People who just smile and laugh are usually _insane_."_

_ "And hey, Holly's driving right? Doesn't mean you can get drunk, alternate with water."_

_ "Has anyone ever told you that you should teach High School health/sex ed classes?" Gail said, rising from her chair._

_ "Gail, don't listen to him. Just be yourself, it'll be great," Chris said encouragingly from the other side of the desk._

_ "This is for you," Gail said with a smile as she placed the uneaten half of her chocolate chip cookie in front of Chris. "And this is for you," Gail said, looking at Dov, before lightly smacking him on the back of the head. Okay, maybe not as lightly as she normally would._

* * *

"Seriously though, you didn't take any of Dov's advice did you? Except maybe the water."

"Do I _look_ like a total moron?"

"Are you two ready to order?" Their waitress asked.

"Yes, I'll have a buckwheat short stack, side of bacon. And, uh, a grapefruit I guess," Gail said eagerly.

"I'll have a cup of oatmeal, and the veggie omlette please," Traci said, smiling at the waitress.

"Ew. Gross," Gail shuddered, "back to my story..."

* * *

_"How was work?" Holly asked as Gail slid into the passenger seat of her car._

_ "Gross. Some drunk got puke all over my shoes," Gail groaned._

_ "You got puked on?! Narly," Summer exclaimed from the backseat._

_ "Holy shit!" Gail screamed. "I think I just died for a second. Sorry, didn't know you were, er, back there," Gail shot Summer a closed lip smile while Holly just chuckled._

_ "You showered right?" Holly asked between laughs._

_ "Duh. Don't think Dov has yet though. He's so slow at paperwork," Gail gloated._

_ "Another vomit casualty?"_

_ "You bet. And Andy and Nick had to take him to the hospital. And I hit Dov. So kinda, actually, could have been a worse day for sure."_

_ "Hol, you're totally going the wrong way to Evan's," Summer reported._

_ "He's already home. He and Dad were gonna change the oil in his car? Or something?"_

_ "L-O-L. Five bucks says they spent at least forty minutes failing until Mom threatened not to feed them unless they took it to a mechanic," Summer said confidently._

_ "I'll take that action," Holly said, making eye contact with Summer in the rearview mirror._

* * *

"Summer sounds like a real character," Traci mused.

"You met her," Gail said between bites of her pancakes.

"That I did, that I did," Traci laughed.

"Anywho.."

* * *

_"Hol, I really love you and all, but gram drives faster than this," Summer said, peering around Holly's seat at the speedometer._

_ "She's right," Gail confirmed with an 'hate to break it to you' expression on her face, "you drive kinda slow."_

_ "I'm going the speed limit," Holly protested._

_ "Kinda the point, Hol," Summer explained._

_ "What she said," Gail agreed._

_ "You're a _police officer, _Gail," Holly said, scandalized._

_ "You can do five or ten over, no one_ cares,"_ Summer didn't get it, was Holly really this much of a goody goody? She added in an eye roll for good measure._

_ "Pretty much, yeah," Gail confirmed, "you drive a Mazda. Zoom Zoom," Gail teased._

_ "Funny," Holly smirked, "Oh, if Dad starts asking about what I'm going after my fellowship, just change the subject."_

_ "I thought you said you were probably going to get promoted at the Coroner's?" Gail asked._

_ "Yeah, I am, but he's gonna go all nuts about the different hospitals I could apply to, and how he's best buds with his Head of Pathology, just I don't want him being annoying about it."_

_ "Sure, fine, but if _Mom _asks about Monday, just like, run screaming from the room or something. She's probably gonna to put cyanide in my food tonight."_

_ "That probably wouldn't go too well for her, seeing as she's a _judge,_" Gail mused as they pulled up to a gated driveway. Holly rolled down the window and typed in a code and waited for the gate to open._

* * *

"Woah, a gate?" Traci asked, surprised.

"Yeah, serious shit," Gail confirmed, "maybe it's 'cause her mom's a judge? Crazies can be crazy."

"Ain't that the truth."

"Anyways, their house was like crazy balls large. But it was weird because it was homey? Ya know? Whatever homey means."

"Are telling me the Peck Estate isn't homey?" Traci joked.

"Oh yeah, it's straight out of 'Sweet Home Alabama'," Gail quipped. She took another sip of her orange juice, "it was basically like '7th Heaven' except richer, like 'The Parent Trap' without the divorce..."

* * *

_ "Come in, come in," Holly's Mom ushered the three of them into the house, "Gail, it's so nice to _finally_ meet you," Holly's mom mused, sending a Holly a slight stink eye. Gail's reflexes were preparing her to shake Holly's mother's hand but before she knew it she was engulfed in a bone crushing hug. Holly's mom was a little shorter than Holly was, closer to Gail's height. Her chestnut hair was starting to go a little gray in places. Her eyes were closer to Summer's __hazel than Holly's deep brown. She seemed, strong, jovial, motherly._

_ "It's nice to meet you too, Mrs. Stewart," Gail squeaked. This hug was starting to hurt a little, but then she was released._

_ "Oh, enough of that, call me 'Anne'. I have to apologize, Geoff is still cleaning up. He and Evan had a little...mishap trying to change the oil earlier. Finally took it to the mechanic like I told them to. Evan should be back any minute," she said with a broad smile, leading the way to the kitchen, "can I get you girls anything to drink?"_

_ "Thanks mom, I'd love a glass of red," Holly answered._

_ "Yeah, that sounds great," Gail said agreeably._

_ "Pay up," Summer whispered to Holly._

_ "Crap," Holly whispered._

_ "Another five bucks says Dad says 'I'm a surgeon for goodness sakes, I can change the stupid oil,'" Summer wagered again._

_ "Ten bucks says she takes all your cash by the end of the night," Gail baited Holly._

_ "I don't like those odds," Holly groaned._

* * *

"Ha! You hate wine!" Traci laughed.

"Yeah, well I don't know. Dov kinda got in my head," Gail admitted, defeatedly.

* * *

_"There's my girls!" Holly's dad exclaimed as he entered the kitchen, enveloping Holly and Summer each in a big hug, lifting them slightly off the ground. Gail couldn't help but think about how Holly had a _tall_ family. Sure, Gail was above average height for a woman, but Holly, her Mom, and Summer each had a couple inches on her, and Holly's dad, wow. He was at least a head taller than her. He still had a head of thick dark hair, and eyes darker brown than Holly's. Like Holly, he wore glasses, but his were rimless with silver frames. _

_ "And you must be Gail," he smiled. Holly definitely got her smile from her dad._

_ "Guilty," Gail smiled, "nice to meet you, Sir."_

_ "Oh," he playfully swatted the air, "call me Geoff, I insist."_

_ "Would you take these out to the sitting room?" Holly's mom handed him two platters of appetizers, "Gail, Holly said you're allergic to tomatoes?"_

_ "Oh, uh, yeah, I am," Gail said thankfully, sending Holly a smile. Phew. _

_ The sound of a door shutting echoed through the large house, "oh that must be Evan," Holly's mom said joyfully._

_ "You know, I am a surgeon for goodness sakes. I _can _change the stupid oil," Holly's Dad grumbled as he headed out to the living room. Summer gave Holly a pat on the back._

_"Geoffrey, you never told me you were a surgeon!" Holly's mom joked._

_ "Keep it up, kid, my money's on you" Gail whispered into Summer's ear._

_ "Hey big sis!" Evan called through the kitchen, as he gave Holly an affectionate, light smack on the shoulder. If Gail thought the rest of Holly's family was tall, boy was Evan tall. He must have been at least three inches taller than Holly's dad._

_ "You must be 'The Cop'," Evan said, beaming at Gail. _

_ "Evan, this is Gail, Gail, this is Evan," Holly said, giving Evan a light smack to the abdomen._

_ "Great to meet you," Evan said, offering up his hand. The family resemblance was uncanny. All three of the Stewart children vaguely resembled each of their parents, but they looking strikingly like each other. Sure, Summer had lighter brown hair like her mom, but the shape of their faces, their noses, ears, and lips were like mirrors to each other. Summer also had lighter brown eyes, but Even's were the same as Holly's deep brown. His hair was tidy, and neatly kept, cropped shorter around the sides. He was pretty sharp overall. Gail kind of agreed with Summer, her older siblings were pretty much perfect. _

_ "Right back atcha," Gail said genuinely. Finally someone who shook hands._

* * *

"Awww, they sound really nice," Traci smiled.

"Yeah, I mean they were, but it was kinda like the twilight zone."

"Count your blessings. Jerry's family was huge. Like so many cousins, and aunts and uncles. I couldn't keep them all straight. I think that's why he wanted kids so bad..." Traci gazed off.

"Sorry," Gail apologized, at a loss for words.

"Gail, don't be, it's okay," Traci assured her. "Tell me more!"

* * *

_"How's the beat, Gail?" Evan asked, pleased with himself._

_ "Oh, shut up Ev, no one actually says that," Summer rolled her eyes and reached for another scollop wrapped in bacon._

_ "Oh, your time in the slammer, make you an expert?" Evan joked._

_ "Kids," Holly's dad warned._

_ "Don't make me come in there," Holly's mom warned from the kitchen._

_ "Please, I wasn't in 'the slammer', Evan," Summer rolled her eyes, "and no one says _that either_."_

_ "So Gail, how do you like being a police officer?" Holly's father asked, changing the subject._

_ "I love it, I mean everyday is different. Some days I don't love it at all. But I enjoy it. I work with really great people," Gail answered, more truthfully than she had planned on. "Don't tell anyone I said that," Gail whispered to Holly._

_ "Have you ever shot anyone?" Summer asked, curiously._

_ "Summer," Holly hissed. She didn't want to make Gail uncomfortable, and honestly, she didn't really want to know either. "You don't have to answer that."_

_ "You know, I'd love to go for a ride-along sometime, I'm thinking about going into criminal law," Evan offered, eagerly._

_ "Yeah sure, I'd just avoid the weekend if I were you," Gail warned._

_ "Noted," Evan laughed, understanding what Gail was getting at._

* * *

"Wow, Gail Peck: Public Relations Expert," Traci laughed.

"Yeah well, I'm fabulous," Gail protested.

"So, it went well?" Traci half asked, half told.

"Yeah, I mean it was fine. I'm pretty sure Holly was more embarrassed at the end of the night than I was. Plus, I made ten bucks," Gail gloated.

"Summer bled Holly dry?"

"You bet."

"They sound really nice. I hope Dov didn't freak you out too much."

"Yeah well, they are nice. Like, I didn't think families were supposed to be nice."

"'Nice' isn't really the 'Peck-style' is it?" Traci joked.

"Definitely, not," Gail agreed.

* * *

**A/N: I hope you guys liked it! If not, well, it's over. There'll also be some more dinner talk next chapter, which will actually take place Monday evening, while Gail's on shift, so before Gail and Traci's breakfast. Hit me up with a review and let me know what you like, what you don't, and what you'd like to see in future chapters. These few chapters will be setup for the rest of the story. Thanks for reading guys!**


	11. Chapter 11: When I Fall in Love

**A/N: Hey guys! Just a quick note about this chapter. This is the night before Gail & Traci's breakfast date, aka during Gail's night shift. Sorry if that's confusing but I really wanted Gail to talk about dinner asap. Enjoy!**

* * *

"You smell like chlorine," Holly scrunched her nose as Summer walked through her doorway.

"And you smell like formaldehyde. You want the pizza or not?" Summer waved the pizza box in the air and grabbed a roll of paper towels from the counter.

"Yes, yes, I want the pizza. Chlorine's a lovely fragrance," Holly conceded as she and Summer walked through the apartment and into Holly's bedroom. "I guess just put the box on the ground."

Summer dove into the box, ripping out a slice and taking a big bite before grabbing a paper towel, "so whataya got for me?" She said through a full mouth.

"Classy, Sum," Holly laughed "I only got home a little while ago but the stuff on the bed is up for grabs," Holly took a slice of pizza and a napkin and walked back over to her closet, taking a bite of pizza before placing it on the towel, atop her dresser.

"Hol," Summer held up a dress, looking disgusted, "why did you _ever_ buy this?" Summer's mouth was full again.

"Hungry?" Holly chuckled.

"Starving. We did weights and distance today. Almost ate my pinky toe in the locker room. _Anyways, _please explain _this,_" Summer demanded, shaking the hanger that held the bright floral maxi dress.

"Actually, I think that was Joanne's," Holly said, cringing a little.

"Ew!" Summer dropped the dress back onto Holly's bed, "why didn't you burn that, like four years ago?"

"Don't have a fireplace," Holly quipped, once again rummaging in her closet, "what about this?" Holly asked, holding up a little black dress, skeptically.

"Are you bonkers? _Keep_ that, it's hot!"

"I don't know if it fits anymore," Holly scrunched up her face.

"When'd you buy that? University? You haven't changed since. Try it on," Summer encouraged. "Where's blondie?" Summer asked, taking another slice of pizza.

"Gail's at work, she's on the night shift today," Holly explained, shimmying into the dress.

"Okay, you're _keeping that_. It will get you anywhere, and fast," Summer wagged her eyebrows. "So did she sign up for this night shift because mom showed her those pictures of baby Holly in the bathtub?" Summer joked.

"_No!_" Holly defended, "although I did get a lot of grief about those Christmas pageant pictures."

"Holly, not _all of us_ are lucky enough to play baby Jesus as a baby, _and then_ manger animals as a child. Mom's so proud!" Summer squealed.

"No one wants to see my baby teeth, _or_ my wisdom teeth. That's just _gross_."

"Ya go me there. But Gail was a good sport."

"Yeah, well," Holly struggled a little getting out of the dress, "I just wish mom and dad would take it easy, you know?"

"Hol," Summer's mouth was full again, "mom and dad aren't the reason your relationships end. They might _expedite _the process, but they're not the reason. They're not gonna scare her away."

Holly cocked her head to the side but didn't say anything.

"You better watch out, dad had your surgeon save your appendix right?"

"_Shit," _Summer cursed. "So what prompted this wardrobe cleanse anyways? For the record I am _not_ complaining! I'm totally digging the hand-me-downs."

"No reason," Holly shrugged as she moved to look through her dresser drawers. "You wanna try these on? I haven't worn any of these in ages," Holly tossed some sweaters at Summer.

"_Liar!_" Summer had known Holly her whole life, her sister was good at most things, except for lying. "You've never been able to lie, and you still can't."

Holly exhaled dramatically, "I was, I don't know, gonna like, clear out a drawer or something..." Holly's voice trailed off at the end of the sentence.

"Hol, come here, I need you to do me favor. Slap me across the face real hard, I think I'm dreaming. Come on, get over here," Summer teased.

Holly turned around, "har har, I'm glad my love life is so funny to you. By the way, your arms are _way_ too jacked for that sweater. It looks like an awkward three-quarter sleever."

"Whatever. You love her, don't you?" Summer asked seriously.

"YES! Fine, I _do_. I just, I don't know, I don't want to jinx it or something," Holly mumbled, turning away from Summer.

"Alert the press! HOLLYYYY," Summer squealed jumping up and down on Holly's bed, "you're _totally _in love with her! O-M-G. Am I finally gonna have a _cool_ sister? Some adorable nieces and nephews? Ya know, I'm like the _perfect_ age to be the super cool aunt! I'm maid of honor right?" Summer continued jumping on the bed.

"Slow down Anderson Cooper, I've only known her for a few months. Plus, you already have a _cool_ _sister,_" Holly protested, as Summer stopped jumping, and dropped to her butt on the bed.

"You're not _so_ bad I guess," Summer laughed.

"You look _ridiculous_. Where's my phone?" Holly quickly snapped a picture of Summer.

Summer struggled to get the sweater off and over her head, "okay, but seriously, all joking aside, Hol, this is _really good_. You totally love her. Plus I like Gail. She's cool," Summer finally got the sweater over her head, and shucked it off her arms.

"Woah! Can you say that again? I want to record it and send it Ev. Did Summer Stewart actually say she _likes_ someone I'm dating?" Holly placed her hand on her chest, acting overly shocked.

"Don't go nuts killer. I've liked your girlfriends before," Summer acted insulted, as if what Holly said was preposterous.

"Name _one," _Holly challenged.

"Um..." Summer tried to think back to one of Holly's girlfriends that she genuinely liked. It's not that she _disliked_ them all, but she really didn't actually _like_ them usually.

"Wrong answer, I've never dated, nor met, anyone named 'Um'," Holly said victoriously.

"Hey can I try on those jeans?" Summer asked, changing the subject.

"Hell no, my legs look amazing in those. Plus they'd never fit over your legs."

"RUDE?!"

"What? You're jacked. My pant size dropped at least three sizes when I graduated and stopped playing soccer and swimming. I was finally able to stop wearing jeans ten times too large for my waist."

"Ugh!" Summer flopped back onto the bed.

"Hey, watch it. You're gonna pizza sauce _all_ over my sheets."

"Oh shit. Do we have to like Clorox this place for Gail?" Summer sounded guilty and looked around the room.

"No," Holly laughed, "she just can't _eat _tomatoes. Speaking of _tomatoes_, how's Derek?" Holly asked with a sly smile.

"You mean Drew? Yeah that's like _so _over, for like a while now. He had _zero_ sense of humor. We were only together for like three weeks. Keep up Hol."

Summer went over to the pile of clothes Holly had put aside to get rid of. They spent another hour or so having silly fashion shows for each other, and just chatting. Holly was worried about Summer after Dov picked her up, but at least she knew her baby sister was still her baby sister. Maybe she would open up to her soon.

"Alright, I should probably get going, I've got mountains of readings to do and conditioning in the A.M."

"I do _not_ miss homework," homework was the worst.

"Evans gonna be _so _jealous when I tell him that you didn't offer him dibs on your clothes." This caused both of them to burst into laughter. "So, have you told her?" Summer asked seriously.

"Told who, what?" Holly asked skeptically. She was pretty sure what she knew what Summer was getting at, but she wasn't going to take that chance.

"Gail. Duh. That you love her. Duh." Summer rolled her eyes. Holly wasn't really that clueless.

"Not yet," Holly said, looking around the room chewing on her bottom lip. Honestly, she was worried about scaring Gail off.

"Well you better, or I will," Summer winked at Holly as she walked out of Holly's apartment.

* * *

**A/N: So the reason this took so long was because I wrote some parts of the next couple chapters after I started this one. Good news though is that the next couple might update more ****quickly! Let me know what you guys think!**


	12. Chapter 12: When You Woke Me Up

**A/N: Hey guys! Make sure you don't skip a chapter, I updated yesterday morning. Happy reading.**

* * *

"Helloooo."

"Heyy," Holly smiled looking up from her desk, "what are you doing here?" She asked, delightfully surprised.

"Obviously I'm looking for a breakfast date," Gail said with a smile, approaching Holly at her desk.

"Wellll," Holly laughed, standing, "speaking from _this_ side of the day, I think it's _dinner_ time," Holly countered, smiling.

"I just woke up, so, for me, it's breakfast time," Gail cocked her head to the side.

"What do you want to get? I can leave in a few, I just have to finish proofing this report."

Gail narrowed her eyes and pretending to think before looping her arms around Holly's neck and pulling her down in a searing kiss. Gail had been walking around in a haze all night and all day, but this was like coming up for air. The way Holly was surprised at first, but then moaned into the kiss, the way Holly's tongue danced against her's, the way Holly's hands went to her hips and pulled them into her, the way Holly's eyes slowly fluttered open when Gail finally pulled away. Gail could breathe again. She got up on her tip toes and whispered in Holly's ear, "I'm absolutely positive you're what I want."

Holly's knees went weak, "I um, can, ah, finish this report later."

"That's what I thought," Gail said with a wicked smile, and headed for the door.

* * *

"Hol, someone stole all your t-shirts," Gail said, confused, standing naked in front of Holly's open dresser drawer. Holly's _empty,_ open dresser drawer.

"Huh?" Holly rolled over in bed to face Gail.

"Your t-shirt drawer is empty," Gail said again.

"Oh, well," Holly sat up, covering herself with the sheet, "actually they're in the next one down now," Holly said, biting her bottom lip, this wasn't exactly how she had wanted to tell Gail that she had cleared out a drawer for her, but, she'd gotten a little distracted.

"Ohhh kayyyyy," Gail answered, not really knowing what to say. Was what she thought was happening, happening? _Play it cool, Peck_.

"So if you wanted to, you know, put some of _your _t-shirts in there-" Holly was cutoff by the sound of her apartment's buzzer. Gail finished throwing on the recently relocated sweatpants and t-shirt and dashed off to the door to collect their delivered dinner. She came back into the bedroom a minute later carrying the bag of takeout containers, plopped herself down in the middle of the bed and got work on the food. _Be cool Peck, be cool_.

"You're not trying to steal my clothes are you?" Gail asked, sounding skeptical.

"I'll never tell," Holly smirked.

_Be cool Peck, be cool_. "And if I say, left some worn clothes here...do you think they'd, I don't know, find a way to launder themselves?"

"It's quite possible, but never guaranteed," Gail never did fail to surprise Holly.

_Be cool Peck, be cool_. "Is that so? I'll have to talk to them about that then." Holly just smiled her takeout container as the blonde stuffed herself with more noodles.

* * *

The next morning Gail was enjoying a deep, dreamless sleep when her phone's overly obnoxious ring shattered her peace. She groaned loudly, keeping her face buried in the pillow and groped the surface of the nightstand for her phone. She silenced it before bringing it up to her face, peeking one eye out from the pillow to see who the caller was. It was Holly. And it was 9:15. '_Why was Holly calling?_' Gail wondered as she swiped to accept the call.

"You're mean," was Gail's greeting, her voice like gravel.

"_Morning to you too, sleepyhead._" If her phone's ring was like a jackhammer to her skull Holly's voice was like being enveloped in a cloud.

"I'm mad at you," a half truth.

"_You love it, but you're about to not..._" Holly sounded nervous.

"Huh?" Gail struggled to wake up, and keep up.

"_Look, your mom just called my office?_" Holly was still struggling to accept that as a fact, "_and she asked us to dinner? She said that you hadn't returned her calls? And then she said something about you needing to think about applying for promotions? I just wanted to tell you. I don't even know how she got _my number_._"

"Well it's not that hard to just call the morgue and ask to be transferred," Gail laughed despite the knot that had formed in her stomach. Gail hadn't talked to her mom since she went to dinner with Steve, and she _had_ ignored quite a few phone calls. "I'm a police officer but she's _The Police_. What'd you tell her?" Gail was worried.

"_I don't know, I told her I'd have to talk to you, played dumb, pretended I had another call?_"

"Ugh," Gail groaned, she hadn't even had her coffee yet, "well thanks for the heads up, I'll handle it. Know any good hit men?" Gail joked.

"_Like I'd tell _you," Holly quipped, "_look, I gotta get back to work but I'll see you tonight?_"

"If my mother lets me survive," Gail joked.

"_Enjoy your day off_," Holly laughed.

"Thanksss, bye."

"_Oh, Gail, there's a key on your keychain, and you should, ah, use it. Gotta go!_"

Her phone beeped, signaling the call had ended. Gail brought it away from her face and stared at the screen as it flashed that her call had ended. Eventually it went back to the lock screen, informing her that her mother had called twice. _Great_. There was definitely no going back to sleep now. Gail swung her legs over the side of the bed and sat up. Today was _definitely _a day to head to the range. She deleted her mother's voicemails without listening to them. It was probably better for everyone involved; she reasoned. Gail stood up and then quickly padded through the apartment to the small bowl Holly kept on the kitchen counter. She stared into it, afraid to make a sudden movement. The chain of collected metal stared back, unfazed. '_How long have I been standing here? A minute? An hour?' _Gail didn't know. It felt like forever. '_Bite the bullet.'_ Gail slowly reached into the bowl, and pulled out her keys. She held them up in front of her face to examine them, spinning them around slowly to see them from all sides. Key to her apartment: check. Key to her parents' front door: check. Key to her parents' side door: check. Key to Steve's apartment that he didn't know she still had: check. Car key: check. Bottle opener: check. Whistle: check. Everyone was present and accounted for. Gail's focus moved to the new kid on the block. Nestled between the secret key to Steve's and the bottle opener hung a foreign key chain featuring what looked like two different kinds of atoms. _'What a NERD.' _ There was also a strange key attached to the nerdy key chain and encased in a pink post-it note. Gail unfolded the post-it and removed it from the key.

'_Don't freak out. It's just a piece of metal shaped like the inside of my deadbolt_

_ -xoxo H_

_ p.s. you're cute when you freak out_

_ x'_

Gail looked from the note back to the keys, to the note again, and then back to the keys. She'd been awake for _maybe _twenty minutes. She looked down at her phone in her left hand and then decided to send Holly a text;

'_NERD'_

Feeling slightly pleased with herself Gail returned her keys to the bowl, tucked the post-it into her phone case, and sauntered off to the bathroom. Coffee, doughnuts, and guns. Coffee, donuts, and guns.

When she emerged from the shower she had a text from Holly:

'_?'_

Really? Was that the best she had? Oh great, a missed call from an "unknown" number. Superintendent mom, no doubt, trying to trick her into answering the phone. Gail grabbed her coat and keys on her way out. In the elevator she snapped a picture of the new keychain and sent it to Holly. 'Nerd' should have been self explanatory. Her phone buzzed again when she was getting into her car.

'_It's Hydrogen and Sulfur'_

Wow, even nerdier. Gail responded as such.

Her phone buzzed again as he was perusing the display case at her favorite doughnut shop.

_'They're H and S on the periodic table. As in Holly Stewart. My dad gave it to me'_

A quick search on Google and Gail typed back;

_'Hydrogen Sulfur Thorium Sodium Copper'_

'_HSThNaCu ? I don't get it...'_

_ 'As in, Holy Shit That's Nauseatingly Cute. Keep up nerd'_

* * *

**A/N: The next chapter shouldn't be _too_ much of a wait. But while you're waiting, why not leave a review?**

**To the guest who mentioned a Gail/Summer chapter; you called it! But don't hold your breathe...we've got a little ways to go before that...**


	13. Chapter 13: So, Won't You Take the Lead?

**A/N: Have at it.**

* * *

"Can I help you with something?" Gail packed as much venom into the short sentence as she could. She kept her eyes on her paperwork and continued writing. Steve had been perched at the corner of her desk for a considerable amount of time now but hadn't spoken a word.

"I know this certainly isn't news to you but the longer you ignore mom the more there's going to be to ignore."

Gail glanced up at Steve for a second, "like you said, that isn't news to me. But it's just kinda tradition you know? I wouldn't want to worry her by actually picking up on the first ring."

"Okay," Steven said in an overly perky tone. "So have you thought it over?"

"Yeah, I think I'm gonna start off with a Manhattan, perfect for bitter winter days like today, whatdaya think?" Gail asked, focussing her attention on her paperwork.

"Good choice. However, I was _actually _wondering about what you were going to apply for," Steve looked at Gail expectantly. Her stubbornness with their mother shouldn't set her career back.

"Wellll now that you mention it I heard traffic was going to have some openings. That's really where my heart lies you know," Gail deflected Steve's serious question with a beyond preposterous answer.

"Wow, it's good I asked to borrow you tomorrow while I still can."

_"What?!"_ Gail whipped her head up and around to glare at Steve. What was he up to?

Steve rose from his seated position on the desk and backed away, "You'll just have to wait and see," he said giddily, shooting Gail a wink before he turned away.

"That's _really_ creepy you know!" She called after him. Why did Steve have to get in her head like that?

* * *

Gail had spent the entirety of last night, and this morning before shift psyching herself out for whatever Steve was "borrowing" her for. The last time she went undercover went horribly. That is, if "horribly" could even begin to cover it. _Please don't be undercover_. She was also a little suspicious as to why Steve had requested her, and if her mother had anything to do with it. Gail knew he wouldn't sell her out but she wouldn't put it past her brother to be outsmarted by their mother. She didn't even know _what_ Steve was going to have her do. She'd laid awake long after Holly had drifted off to sleep wondering what today would have in store for her.

"Ready to rock and roll?" Steve was at Gail's side as soon as she had walked in the doors. Jeez he really doesn't quit.

"Just gotta put on my uniform," she replied in a saccharine sweet tone.

"No need, plain clothes today."

"Superrr," there goes her last sense of normalcy, "just gonna grab a coffee."

"Perfect, I'll have a double double," Steve bounded up the stairs to his office.

Gail never regretting becoming a police officer. She's not going to gush about it to _anyone_ but Gail loves her job. She gets to help people when it matters most, kick some asses when most deserved, and dish out the snark when it's most needed. There's no way Gail could deal with being chained to a desk everyday. Chasing after criminals is also a pretty good way to earn doughnuts and tequila shots. She worked with some pretty good people too; Traci, Chris, Dov, Oliver, Noelle, and Frank. Damn, Gail misses Noelle. Even Sam, Andy, and Nick were good people, even if their heads were shoved way up their asses. Heck, Marlo went a little nuts but Gail had always respected her. She could be a little bit of a hard ass but Gail liked riding with her. No personal drama, no bullshit; she looked up to her for those reasons. Marlo was good at her job. Too bad she went off her meds and started stalking Ford. Chloe was frickin' _annoying _ but she was good at her job and one of her favorite people to make fun of. She worked with good people. Gail never regretted becoming a police officer. If she was being honest with herself; she loved it. But Gail did regret getting into the family business. Her least favorite part of her job was, hands down, her mother. The worst being that that is likely never going to change.

"Double double for the princess," Gail placed the cup of coffee on Steve's desk. "So what are we doing anyways?" Gail's curiosity and dread were peaking.

"You," Steve smiled, "are helping me plan a bust."

"Wow, how'd mom get you to do that?" God that woman just doesn't let up.

"Actually," Steve countered, "she didn't have anything to do with it. I picked you."

"Whatever," Gail plopped herself down in a chair next to Steve. She didn't believe him but there seemed to be no escape at this point.

* * *

"Do you wanna know why I picked you?" Steve asked as they climbed into his car. They were going to scout out the location of the bust they were planning for later that week.

"Um let me think? A little birdie named '_Elaine_' whispered in your ear '_choose Peck, pad her resume, choose Peck,_" Gail was confident her mother was behind this.

Steve started the engine, "actually, she probably doesn't even know about this. I didn't tell her, and guns and gangs isn't really on her radar." Gail looked over at Steve skeptically. What was he getting at? "So, guess again," Steve prompted.

"Well then, I guess we're left with my sunshiny disposition," Gail said in a very cheery, un-Gail-like voice.

"Wrong again, little sis," Steve was going to make her work for it.

* * *

"So, any last guesses?" Steve asked again as he and Gail got in the car to head back to the station.

"What is this? The Spanish Inquisition?" Gail was tired of Steve's games. He _always_ milked it when he knew something she didn't, and since he was her _older_ brother he'd done a lot of that in the past twenty-eight years.

"I could have done this myself-"

"Gee thanks," Gail rolled her eyes.

"I could have done this myself _but_," Steve paused for a moment to let the 'but' sink in, "I wanted _your _help because you know the officers at this division a lot better than I do-"

"You got that right, my superlative is definitely 'Most Popular,'" Gail rolled her eyes again, what _was _Steve getting at? It was making her nervous.

"Okay, you're kind of abrasive, snarky, you don't roll out the red carpet for anyone; you're a Peck. You're a little judgmental, _but_ you're also a good judge of character. You know everyone's strengths and weakness better than I do, heck, better than they do," Steve was on a roll, and when Gail offered a shy objection he just soldiered on, pretending not to hear. "You told me that Dov can be overeager, like he's trying to prove something; that Chris follows the rules to a 'T' even when maybe he shouldn't; that Andy's quick to dispense sympathy, especially for women; that putting her and 'Soldier Boy' together probably wouldn't be good for anyone; that Noelle's pregnant again and her bladder wouldn't survive the surveillance van. You're good at reading people Gail. People trust you on the job. You'd be a good leader. Just because they might not want to be your 'BFF' doesn't mean they don't know you'll have their back. Leading isn't about making friends anyways."

"What's your point Dr. Phil?" Gail doesn't take compliments well and she still didn't get where Steve was going with this.

"Mom's going to try and get you to apply for a detective rotation. You shouldn't do that though. You'd hate it. The amount of BS would drive you insane," Gail turned her head to look at Steve as he talked to the windshield. "This year you'll get promoted to training officer. You'll probably be good at it too. The rookies will be too afraid of pissing you off to do anything wrong...or rather; to do anything wrong for a second time," Steve chuckled, "and like I said, you're a good judge of character, you'll figure out what they need to learn," Steve paused to look over at Gail for a brief second. "And then in a year or two you should take the Sergeant's test. Don't listen to mom. Listen to me," Steve looked over at Gail and smiled as he pulled over into an on street parking spot, "I'll have a plain glazed." Steve was hungry, but he also wanted to give Gail an out, a way that she could almost pretend that conversation hadn't happened without forcing her to publicly denounce everything he said.

"Sure thing boss," Gail shot him a closed lip smile as she moved to get out of the car, "oh, and don't go blabbing to anyone about Noelle. I don't even know if it's true, I've just noticed stuff..."

"Noticed stuff?" Steve asked, openly confused.

"You're a boy, you wouldn't get it," Gail rolled her eyes.

"Oh, and a hot chocolate? They have the _best_ hot chocolate!" Gail didn't respond, and just slammed the door shut.

"I'm always right? Am I not? I am, I am always right," Steve mused aloud to himself. Someone was pleased with himself.

* * *

"So, how was working with Steve today?" Holly was her usually cheery, positive self, chopping root vegetables for dinner. She looked over her shoulder as Gail rummaged in her cabinets. She hadn't even taken her coat off, she'd just dropped her bag at the door and made a beeline for the kitchen cabinets. 'Well, at least she used the key,' Holly thought to herself.

"Do you not have anything stronger than _wine_?" Gail wanted a real drink.

"Um, well, you might want to try the _liquor cabinet_," Holly motioned to the mini bar in the living room with her chopping knife. Duh?

"Oh. Right," Gail quickly shut the cabinet doors, spun around and headed straight for the hard stuff.

"Hey, do I not even get a kiss 'hello'?"

Gail blew Holly a kiss from the living room just as she reached her prize.

"I guess that'll do for now," Holly's head was down to the cutting board but her eyes were watching Gail clatter around with the whiskey. "So...not fun then?"

"Meh, it was fine. Steve talks a lot though," Gail rounded the kitchen counter and took a seat next to the cutting board.

"Take your coat off, stay a while," Holly joked.

Gail looked down at herself. She hadn't bothered to remove her coat or boots yet. She had been _so_ looking forward to kicking her boots off but had completely forgotten in her quest for hard alcohol. No wonder she was starting to feel a little warm.

"Eh, I'll probably just leave after this drink," Gail quipped as she moved to hang up her coat and leave her boots by the door. "Also," Gail heaved as she struggled to remove her boots without spilling her drink onto the floor, "Frank said we all have to do ride alongs with the medics this month. Mine's next week," Gail was not looking forward to it. She had done one before before while she was in the academy and then once again two years ago. She was not a fan. She really didn't mind blood and guts, except on real, live people. Ambulances were scary places; A box of metal going too fast, with not enough time with too much pressure.

"Oh! No way! I _love_ ride alongs. They're so much fun! Exciting, get your blood pumping kinda stuff. Summer got certified as an EMT last summer you know?"

"Summer did, last _summer_, you don't say," Gail joked. "Maybe she can go for me."

"Yeah, I don't think it works that way," Holly laughed, "hey, are you gonna make me a drink or what?"

* * *

For the second night in a row Gail laid awake long after Holly had fallen asleep. She couldn't stop replaying what Steve had said to her. Was he right? Gail knew that Steve wouldn't lie to her. Steve was a loyal brother. He could be obnoxious, cocky, forward, and sometimes a little over confident. But he was a loyal brother. Gail knew he had nothing to gain by saying all that stuff. Self preservation was telling her to forget it. At least for now. She could deal with it later. Gail rolled back over onto her side and scooted back into Holly's embrace. Gail loved to cuddle. She would never admit it to anyone, and sometimes she tried to hide it from Nick and Chris. Holly had seen right through her, but she still wouldn't admit it. She put her arm over Holly's that rested across her front.

"Holly," Gail whispered, "Holly, you awake?"

The room was silent except for some light snores coming from behind Gail's head.

"Holly, Bill Nye's on the phone for you."

More silence.

"Night nerd. I love you."

* * *

**A/N: Gosh Gail, if you want her to say it back she has to be _awake. Right? That's how it works right? _Anyways the next chapter is mostly written so it should be coming your way pretty soon :) Love y'all!**


	14. Chapter 14: By My Side, Walk With Me

**A/N: Like I said, I was pretty much done with this chapter when I finished the last one, so enjoy! *Fluff alert***

* * *

Heavy. Cold. Numb. Heavy. Gail Peck felt heavy. Her boots were heavy on her feet, her hands were heavy at her side, her bag was heavy on her shoulder. Her chest was heavy over her lungs, her heart was heavy in her chest. Words heavy in her head, on her tongue. Her uniform was heavy everywhere. Her eyelids were heaviest of all. But she kept walking. She hadn't stopped walking since she hopped down from that ambulance; her chariot for the day. More like an emotional torture chamber. She'd been walking for a while, she didn't even know how long. Spring had started to show itself a little, and instead of elegant, white snow, Gail was walking through a cold, harsh rain. Even though spring nearly here it was still beyond cold after dark. Gail's face was nearly numb, her fingers and toes beyond cold. And then she was walking up steps, keys heavy in her heavy hand. Pushing the heavy door open. Waving at the doorman. In the elevator. Down the hall. Keys in the lock. Door open, bag down.

"Hey you!" Holly's words smiled for her, "wow, it's late. Did you have fun?" Holly had been talking about how fun it was going to be for the past week. 'Fun, a rush, exciting,' is what Holly claimed it would be. Gail discarded her boots and jacket in the hall, following Holly's words to the living room. Holly was lying on her back reading a book on the couch, head propped up on the armrest. Her beaming smile faded once Gail came into view. Wordlessly she climbed on top of Holly, tucking her feet between the armrest and the cushions, sliding her hands between Holly's lower back and the couch, and buried her head in Holly's sternum and chin.

A muffled "no" was the only answer Holly received. Her hands rubbed up and down the back of the deep blue uniform shirt.

"Gail, you're so cold," Holly sounded worried. Her deceleration was met with labored breath and warm tears on her chest.

Lighter. Gail felt lighter. Warm whispers in her ear, warm hands on her back, a warm leg wrapped around her lower half, a comforting chin resting on her head. And then an arm was resting on her side, she could feel gentle tugs on her hair, and then gentle fingers dismantling her long braid, combing through her blonde locks, lightly massaging her scalp. And she was feeling lighter again. Holly warmed the deafening silence. The noise in her head was quieting. She started to drift off and shut down. This is what Gail wanted to call home.

"Gail."

Silence.

"Gail. Come on. Let's get you to bed." Gail let Holly pull her off the couch, lead her to Holly's bedroom, and remove her uniform. Gail laid in bed trying not to think about her day, staring at the ceiling, trying to feel light again. The covers moved around her as Holly crawled into bed and Gail turned onto her side; clinging to Holly like a life raft. Head resting on her shoulder, legs tangled, and her hand fisting a clump of Holly's t-shirt. And then Holly's hands were in her hair and under her shirt on her back again.

"I hate ride alongs," Gail whimpered into Holly's chest, "it's like riding inside of a teacup ride while watching some kid trying to poke a grain of rice with a string of hair.

"I know," Holly cooed, "it's scary, and rushed. And really bumpy," and Holly did know. And that made Gail feel better. As Gail drifted off again Holly kept watch over the blonde head that rose and fell with her own breathing.

* * *

Holly was keeping watch again when Gail awoke the next morning.

"What time is it?" Gail could see the sun creeping through the blinds, and looking up at Holly, Gail thought she looked actually awake.

"Uh, like eight," Holly answered, returning her book to the nightstand.

"Why didn't you go on your run? Aren't you going to be late for work?" Gail asked; a little worried.

"Well, I've been a little...detained," Holly smirked, motioning to the hand still clutching her shirt. Gail looked over and immediately noticed the dull ache in her right hand. She released it, freeing an extremely wrinkled section of Holly's shirt as she began to flex her sore hand open and shut.

"Oops...Sorry," Gail apologized, sounding guilty.

"Don't be," Holly dropped a kiss to Gail's forehead.

"Do you have to leave soon? You're going to be late," Gail didn't want to be alone. She always wanted to be with Holly, but she didn't want to be alone today.

"No silly, it's Saturday," Holly giggled.

"Good," Gail nuzzled back into Holly's chest. Gail kept her head still but strained her eyes to look up at Holly, "you stayed with me." It was almost a question, almost a new discovery, a revelation. Holly had stayed.

"Yeah," Holly didn't laugh, but it was hinted at in her voice. Of course she had stayed. "Why wouldn't I?" The question was rhetorical, a nice way of essentially saying, 'duh.'

"You would," Gail knew she would. Sometimes she didn't believe it though. "Ugh, yesterday was awful. I think it gave me a hangover," Gail groaned.

"What happened?" Holly was curious, had something happened? Or had Gail just really disliked it?

Gail focused on the random patterns she started drawing on Holly's t-shirt. "Nothing. Everything. Most of them were alone you know? No one to go with them. You don't think about that," Gail paused speaking but continued to draw. "I wouldn't want to be alone then. That would be the worst. I hate ambulances, and I hate hospitals even more."

Holly turned her head to kiss Gail's forehead. "You planning on needing a ride in one anytime soon?"

"No," Gail mumbled into Holly's chest.

"Good," Holly grinned, hoping it might spread onto Gail's face too. "Plus, I don't think anyone would do that to the poor medics."

Gail looked up and glared at Holly who just chuckled on.

"You're doing that thing again."

Holly stifled her laughter, "what thing?"

"You're kinda talking out of the left side of your mouth. It's weird."

"Sorry, Ms. Symmetrical," Holly said, exaggeratedly speaking out the right side of her mouth.

"Stop that!" Gail chastised, "I like the way you talk."

"C'mon," Holly moved to get out of bed,"let's go get you a doughnut."

"Wait no," Gail held onto Holly tighter, "just stay for a minute." So they stayed. Holly ran her fingers through Gail's hair, who watched the rise and fall of the brunette's chest. After a few minutes Gail suddenly leapt out of bed, exclaimed "doughnuts", and ran for the bathroom.

* * *

Gail took another bite of her doughnut and asked through a full mouth, "do you think it would be fun to hibernate for the winter?" Gail's questions had been as random as they had been plentiful that morning. Gail had a coffee in one hand and half a doughnut in the other. She took a sip of her coffee as they walked through the park.

"Well, since I'd be asleep, I don't know if it would be _fun_...it probably wouldn't really be _anything,_" Holly didn't mind though; she liked Gail's questions.

"Sometimes I wish I could hibernate for the summer. I burn easily, and the uniforms get super hot and itchy," Gail shuddered at the thought.

"If you worked in a morgue you'd always be cold."

"I don't know. I'm a _little _pale. People might confuse me with the walking dead."

Holly threw her head back in laughter, "well we wouldn't want _that_."

A squirrel ran across their path carrying half a piece of bread; "Why don't squirrels hibernate do you think? They still all run around in the snow."

"Can't get fat enough maybe?"

They started to walk past a jungle gym filled with children running around, happy that there was no ice in sight and that they could run around without being immobilized by snow pants. "Why do you think kids are always screaming when they're having fun? How do they not all go deaf?"

"I'm not really sure. Why don't you go ask them?" Holly suggested as they continued walking, motioning toward the group with her elbow. Some people might be annoyed by Gail's questions but Holly found them entertaining, sometimes even adorable.

"Holly?" Gail bit her lip and slowed to a stop.

"Yes, Gail?" Holly asked curiously, interested in what Gail had come up with now. Holly turned to her right and then turned around when she realized Gail was no longer at her side.

"I love you. I've never really felt this way before. You still give me butterflies sometimes. But you make me feel safe even when my friends are being shot, and everyone's alone," _shit_, her mouth opened and she was just letting it fly. Try as she might to reel herself in, Gail just couldn't control the words spewing out her mouth, "and I know you'll never leave. You're smart and you're funny and I live to see you smile, and hear you laugh. We tell each other stuff. I hate people...but I _love_ you. That's what this is right? Love? I love you. I hope you know that. I think I'm saying this all wrong-"

Holly loved Gail's ramblings. It was so adorable, so open, so vulnerable, but she didn't want her to flail around any longer so she cut her off; "I know. Gail, I know," Holly said, closing the few steps between them and gently cupping Gail's elbows. She would have taken her hands but; coffee and doughnuts.

"You do?" Gail asked, a little surprised and a little hopeful.

Holly looked Gail in the eyes, "of course I know, because you make me feel loved. All those things you said, I feel them too. That's kinda how it works."

Gail released a breath she didn't know she'd been holding in; relieved.

"Plus, you've been saying it before you fell asleep like, almost every night for the past week," Holly smiled one of her sideways smiles, that reached all the way to her left ear but stopped a little short on her right.

Gail groaned, "weeks. It's probably been more like two weeks," Gail looked down at her feet.

"Okay, two weeks," Holly laughed one of her joyful laughs.

"You didn't say anything back? Um, rude," Gail deflected.

Holly shrugged, "you thought I was asleep. I didn't want to give you a heart attack. You'd have to go the hospital in an am-bul-ance. I knew you'd tell me when you were ready."

Gail scrunched up her face.

"Gail," Holly waited for Gail to look up at her again, gently rubbing Gail's arms just above her elbows with her thumbs. "I love you too," there it was again, one of Holly's megawatt smiles. Gail was sure one of those could light up half a city block.

"You do?" Gail asked hopefully; not doubtfully.

"What do you think?" Holly was talking out of the side of her mouth again and Gail loved that.

"I think you do."

"You think right," Holly's smile was _so_ big. Gail wondered if it ever hurt to smile that big, but before she could ask Holly's lips were warm against her's, soft, sweat, and gentle. And then they were gone.

"Now, wanna give me a bite of that doughnut," Holly raised her right eyebrow and smiled that crooked smile that bordered with a snarl, "since you _love_ me so much."

Wow, Holly really went for it. Gail looked down at her doughnut, back to Holly, and then down to her doughnut again. "Oh this? It's awful," Gail shook her head, "you'd hate it. Trust me."

"Oh yeah?" Holly turned to continue their walk.

"Definitely," Gail fibbed. "Did it hurt?" Gail remembered her question from before.

"When I fell from heaven? A little bit, yeah. But I'm sure if you kissed my tush it'd make it better," a half smile and a laugh.

That earned Holly a light shove to her upper arm. Damn; Gail loved Holly.

* * *

**A/N: I hope you guys liked it! I wanted Gail to take that step of her own accord without it being a response to Holly saying it. Obvi I love Holly but this story is more about Gail's growth, because, well, we barely know anything about Holly, and I think Gail has a lot of rich growing to do. I also think Holly's already started helping her with that in the show.**

**Happy Thanksgiving to all my American readers! I'm ****grateful for all of you, from all across the globe! I hope everyone reading this had (or will have) a great day today!**


	15. Chapter 15: April Come She Will

_"April come she will, when streams are ripe and swelled with rain"_

* * *

"Okay, really? I'm pretty sure a stranger would be more helpful than you," Holly rolled her eyes and leaned her back against one of the bookcases.

"I'm being helpful!" Gail collapsed into the one of the nearby armchairs. She sank farther into it than she had anticipated and ended up staring at the ceiling. The local bookstore was bustling on the rainy spring Sunday, which wasn't helping. God, Gail really hated people. Especially people who walked too slowly, people who stopped in their tracks without warning, not to mention people who walked along without looking up from their phones. Surely those should be arrestable offenses. Holly raised an eyebrow and locked eyes with Gail. "_Fine_. I'm not being helpful. _But_, for the record, my suggestion was to give him fifty bucks. I still don't get why we can't do that."

"Because he's turning _eleven_, not nineteen," Holly rolled her eyes and laughed.

"I'd write a check. I'm not a _heathen_."

"Okay, but seriously, writing a check is for uncles," Holly said, looking around hoping to find some inspiration.

"Eleven year olds _hate_ reading, why are we even in a bookstore anyways?" Gail was bored. Like seriously bored. She had little patience for shopping, mostly because of the other people that came with the territory. Shoppers were _so_ aggravating. At least they weren't in a mall.

"Because, as I said, you were being no help so this was my default starting point. Plus Leo likes reading."

"Ugh, why'd we have to ruin this perfectly good Sunday shopping? His party isn't for _two_ more weeks. What's the hurry anyways?"

Holly pulled out her phone and started to tap away at the screen, "because, you're working next weekend, so this is basically the only time we could both go when the stores would be open. Plus you said that, and I quote; 'today is already garbage because we're having dinner with my parents tonight so we might as well,' oh, and you said 'the weather accurately projects what should be the mood of the day,'" Holly peered out the window at the rain for a second before looking back down at her phone.

"Humph. So I did," Gail leaned back into the chair and gazed up at the ceiling again.

"Do you know if Leo's read Harry Potter yet?"

"How should I know?" Gail began tapping a finger on the armrest, "isn't that book for kids anyways?" Gail looked up at Holly, doubtful.

"Gail, Leo _is_ a kid. Plus adults love those books too," Holly walked over to the chair Gail was sitting in. Gail lifted her arm as Holly sat down. She placed her hand on Holly's upper back while continuing to rest her elbow on the armrest. "Ugh, I need to sit for a minute."

"Yeah, _nerdy_ adults love those books," Gail turned her head to the left to look at Holly and narrowed her eyes, "are you a _Harry Potter fan? _Are you a _Potterhead?"_

Holly smiled and looked down at Gail; "yeah, and you know what else?"

"No, what?" Gail continued to peek through her narrowed eyelids.

"I'm proud of it," Holly laughed as her phone buzzed in her hand, "ohh, will you look at this?" Holly gloated.

"What?" Gail huffed. She was having zero fun today.

"According to Steve Leo does _love_ reading, he doesn't think he's read Harry Potter yet but that he would probably _love_ it," Holly smiled down at Gail.

"Can you stop gloating so we can leave?" Gail rose from the chair and looked around, "where's the nerd section?"

* * *

"Hey," Holly looked over at Gail as she closed the door and buckled her seatbelt, "are you okay?" Holly placed her hand gently on Gail's forearm.

"Huh?" Gail looked over at Holly, confused. Holly was looking at her with her deep, caring eyes, and a slight questioning lift of her eyebrows.

"I mean, you're mom was kinda," she searched for the right word, "harsh in there," Holly's words trailed off at the end of her sentence.

Gail scrunched her face, "are you nuts? That was beyond tame. She's probably trying to lure me into a false sense of security or something. Now let's get out of here before it embarrasses her and she come out here, guns blazing," Gail gave Holly's thigh a couple light pats. They drove in silence out the driveway, down the street, onto the main road. Gail looked over at Holly and said in a droopy voice; "I've got a case of the Sundays," Gail didn't look away.

Holly smiled, "what?"

"Wait, keep going straight," Gail instructed as Holly turned on her left turn signal.

"Bossy," but Holly did as she was told.

"Turn right here."

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see," Gail said right before they entered a large turn in the road, and the shore came into view. "Turn in up there," Gail instructed, pointing to a parking lot up to the left.

"Yes, ma'am," Holly chuckled. Gail was out of the car before it was in park. She stopped at the edge of the parking lot to take off her shoes before bounding down the sand. Holly took her time getting out of the car, then removed her shoes and threw them inside before walking to the edge of the parking lot. She watched Gail for a moment who was down at the edge of the water. Gail had rolled up her pants and was gingerly putting one toe in the water before pulling it back instantly. It was still early April and saying that the lake was still cold would be an understatement. No matter, Gail continued to poke one tip of one toe into the water before immediately removing it, almost as if she was surprised by the cold. Holly slid her keys into her coat pocket before taking it off, rolling it up, and throwing it onto the concrete wall. She leaned down, rolling up her own pants before taking off towards the water.

Gail looked down at the water; a deep black in the night. She tried once again to get her whole foot in the water. Touching the water was like being shot with needles. Gail pulled away once again. When they were younger sometimes she and Steve would come down to the beach after dinner. Usually it was in the summer when they didn't have any homework to do, it was hot out, and the sun stayed up long after dinner time. However, when they came down and the water was cold they'd play chicken. One evening some spring Steve had proclaimed that there was no way Gail could stand it longer than he could. She challenged for a rematch for years. They took off their shoes and would each put one foot in the water to see who could last the longest. They never actually timed it. If you asked her back then how long they kept them in the water for Gail probably would have guessed about fifteen or twenty minutes. Right now though, Gail was sure that was a delusion. They probably lasted at most seventy seconds. Gail started to wonder how much longer Steve actually would have been able to stand it. Once she shot her foot out of the water he would always keep a straight face as he removed his foot. He _had_ won after all; no need to continue suffering. But how much longer could he have lasted? Gail stared at the water, gearing up for another attempt and just like that she felt her body jerk. She shrieked. She was spinning around. Her hips were resting on Holly's shoulder, Holly's arm holding tight around the underside of her thighs.

"OH MY GOD. PUT ME DOWN. PUT ME DOWN PUT ME DOWN!" Gail shrieked. She lifted her head, looking to the beach. But the beach was getting smaller and smaller. Now she seemed to be moving more upright and closer to the ground. No. Not the ground. Gail was moving closer to the icy icy water.

"Are you sure?" Holly asked with a laugh.

"No no no no no!"

And then she was whipped around. Lifting her head she saw the wide expanse of water. Thankfully, she seemed to be moving away from the horizon. Gail could feel her body coming closer to upright, and then she could feel her feet meeting the cold sand. Holly was beaming down at her with one of her huge lopsided grins. She was even giggling a little bit. Gail looked up at her speechless, mouth agape.

"You looked like you could use a little encouragement," Holly smiled.

Gail closed her mouth, squared her shoulders, lifted her chin, and narrowed her eyes, "and you. You were gonna get lucky tonight. Key word being _were,_" and with that Gail turned on her heels and headed down the beach, farther still from the parking lot. Holly just smiled one of her half smiles and followed along a few paces behind, looking around. It was pretty nice at the beach at night. No one was around, it was nice and quiet, and you could look up at the sky and see the stars. It was a little chilly though and Holly had left her coat by the car. She wrapped her arms around her front to get a little warmer.

Gail stopped and turned, "that's kinda creepy you know," she said, cocking her head to the side.

"Huh?" Holly looked around.

"Following me like that, it's kinda stalkery," which in 'Gail' roughly translated to; _'come walk with me,'_ and by now Holly was pretty good at understanding 'Gail'. Holly smiled, walking forward a few paces to close the space between them and then waited a second for Gail to continue walking. Her hand found Holly's before Gail took another step.

"My favorite is having Tuesday off and working on Monday. Everyone's walking around like the living dead but it's casual Friday to me."

"Huh," Holly laughed, "I bet that would be kinda trippy."

"It is a little trippy I guess. I also really like having Sunday and Monday off. Sundays should be enjoyed and savored but Mondays usually put such a damper on all the glory that Sundays have to offer. But, when Monday is just a second Sunday, Sunday is ten times better."

"Kinda like having a three day weekend from school," Holly smiled.

"Exactly. Sunday was always the best day because it was like you got to experience Sunday like you never had before. Sunday's possibilities were endless." Gail stopped and turned to look Holly in the eyes; "we should probably turn back. Can you even feel your toes anymore? You got them all wet."

Holly shrugged casually, "meh, not so much." Gail just stood still and maintained their eye contact. "What?" Holly asked through a laugh. Gail cocked her head to the side, closed her eyes and shrugged. She slowly took a step forward, looked up at Holly, and cupped her cheeks. Gail got up on her tiptoes, and waited for Holly to reach forward half an inch to meet her. The kiss was soft and slow. It was lazy. It was loving. Holly's hands wrapped around Gail's waist causing Gail to release a soft moan. Gail's right hand fell to Holly's hip as her left hand lazy dragged down Holly's front before latching itself onto Holly's belt buckle. Gail traced the square metal slowly with her thumb twice before sliding her four fingers between Holly's skin and jeans. Gail gave Holly's pants two tugs and intensified the kiss. Holly broke free and husked, "I thought I wasn't getting lucky tonight?"

Gail smiled, winked, and barely finished saying, "race you to the car," before she was bounding through the sand towards the parking lot.

* * *

_"April come she will, when streams are ripe and swelled with rain"  
- Simon and Garfunkel "April Come She Will"_

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**A/N: Thanks for reading/reviewing/being adorable guys!**

**Just to clarify it anyone's confused; chapters 1-14 took place over a 3(ish) week span. I was kind of fuzzy on the cannon season 4 timeline so I'm just pretending that 4x13 was sometime in January and my fic picks up mid February.  
**

**The next few chapters are going to be somewhat filler. The first half was kind of setting the stage for what's to come and I wanted a few months to go by but I thought it would be kind of lame just to be like "_Six months later..."  
So_, I hope the next few chapters are enjoyable for you guys because there won't be much plot advancement. That being said, if there's anything you guys want to see that's kind of random and one-shot-like let me know and I can probably work them into the next couple chapters!**

**Also, this chapter took me forever and I'm sorry. I still love you all.**


	16. Chapter 16: May, She Will Stay

**A/N: Hey guys! Next to no plot progression here _but_ it's the longest chapter so far. Enjoy the angst/drama/heartache free chapter!**

* * *

_"May, she will stay, resting in my arms again"_

* * *

"Holly?" Gail peered around Holly's apartment door as she jimmied her keys out of the lock. She stepped aside from the door and reached behind to close and lock it as she surveyed the apartment. Gail quickly removed her jacket and threw it on top of her bag on the floor. She still felt pretty warm, was it hot it here? "Holly?!" Gail called out again, a little louder this time, as she looked around. Everything seemed to be in order. Gail stepped into the kitchen; Holly's keys were in the dish and her bag was on the counter. She was definitely home. Gail looked up from the counter and headed for Holly's ensuite bathroom when she heard the toilet flush. Gail stopped short in the doorway, "Oh, grosss!" Holly just glared at Gail from the floor, "I mean, are you...are you okay?"

"What are you doing here? I told you should go to your place tonight," Holly coughed out.

"You said you were sick. I wanted to make sure you were okay," Gail nervously looked around. She hated vomit. It creeped her out to no end. "You're not dying are you?"

"Maybe just a little," Holly coughed again.

"Well stop it," Gail turn and backed out of the doorway, "I'm gonna get you some water," and headed for the kitchen. Sick people were gross. It really freaked Gail out. The only thing she hated more than being sick was being near someone else who was sick. And puke was just in another category all to itself. She spent a minute rummaging through the cabinets but the kitchen was a total food desert, not to be confused with a food dessert. She headed for the fridge and pried it open. Goddamn Holly's fancy, shiny Subzero. That thing is harder to open than an armored car. What a waste too; Gail took stock of the fridge and counted five beers, a half empty Brita pitcher, one greek yogurt, half a bottle of wine, a jar of ketchup, mustard, and some maple syrup. She sighed and snatched a glass out of the cupboard and went back to the fridge and pried the freezer door open. Ice cream, some more ice cream, vodka, gin, and some bags of frozen vegetables. She grabbed a few ice cubes from the tray and shut the door and headed to the sink. Gail let the faucet run cold for a minute and took a deep breath. Colds, viruses, disease were all gross. There was a reason Gail hadn't wanted to become a doctor and it had nothing to do with her mother, nor did it have to do with her disinterest in developing a good bedside manner. Blood and guts, dead people, Gail could deal with all of those, no problem. Sickness creeped her out; especially a mystery sickness. A shiver went down Gail's spine. She pushed those thoughts out of her head and whipped out her phone. What to do, what to do, what to do. Puke, sickness, and snot. Leo! Traci! Gail texted Traci; '_Holly's like puking everywhere, and there's snot and vomit, and it's really gross. What do I do?'_

Gail filled the glass, turned off the faucet, and headed out of the kitchen. She found Holly on the living room sofa curled up under a blanket. "Hey," Gail sat down on the coffee table, "I got you some water," she placed the glass on the table next to the sofa. "I put some ice in there. One time some super nerd told me cold water hydrates you faster than warm water."

Holly cracked a smile and turned to face the ceiling with closed eyes, "a super nerd, huh?"

"Super duper nerd. But I figured if you can only keep it down for a few minutes, better make 'em count."

"Funny," Holly coughed again, "but kinda clever."

Gail grabbed the water off the side table and moved the glass around in front of Holly's face, "you _know_ you want _someee_." Holly opened her eyes and reached out, grabbing the glass and taking a sip. "But seriously, you're not dying are you?"

Holly rolled her eyes, "no, I'm not dying...sure feels like it though," Holly let the glass rest on her stomach and closed her eyes. "It's like I have gremlins forcing their way out of every orifice of my body," Holly reached behind her head to grab a tissue and proceeded to blow her nose.

Gail shuddered, "_every_ orifice?" Holly just glared at her and reached for another tissue. "So you have _nothing_ to eat here besides ice cream and alcohol, and I'm guessing you're not very interested in that right now. So I'm gonna run out and get you something," Gail looked around, "and probably like twenty more boxes of tissues."

"Gail, really, I'll be fine. You didn't have to come over here," Holly pleaded.

"Shut up. You have puke in your hair," Gail stood up and headed into Holly's office and grabbed the trashcan. She dropped it on the floor by Holly's head on her way to the kitchen to grab a plastic bag. "Okay," Gail lined the trashcan with the plastic bag, "while I'm gone you're not allowed to die or puke anywhere besides the trash and the toilet." Before Holly could say anything back the doorbell rang. "Expecting someone?" Gail asked as she rose from coffee table and headed for the door.

"No," Holly huffed. Great. Who could it be?

Gail checked the peephole. It was Holly's mom. Holly's _mom._ Holly's _mom_, who happens to be a _mom_ to three children _and _is married to a _pediatric_ _surgeon_. Sicklings have got to be right up this woman's alley. Gail swung the door open with a large grin on her face, "good evening Mrs. Stewart!"

"Oh Gail! I'm so glad you're here! But you _must_ stop calling me that. Really dear, it's 'Anne'."

"Sorry, right. It's good to see you, Anne," Gail looked at the multiple grocery bags Holly's mom and brought with her as she hurriedly took off her jacket and hung it on the coat rack.

"Mom?!" Holly called from the living room, "what are you doing here?" Holly's mom took after the sound of Holly's voice and Gail followed along.

"Oh thank god you're not curled up in a ball on the street. I was so worried when Summer mentioned that you left work early because you were sick," Holly's mom sat on the coffee table and brushed the hair out of Holly's face.

"Mom, really, I'm fine. You don't have to stay. I'm okay," Holly looked up at her mom with pleading eyes.

"Nonsense. Caterpillar, you never miss school or work. I'm going to make my chicken noodle soup," she spoke with such finality; there really was no saying no to this woman.

Holly scrunched up her face and looked away, "oh, mom, can you not talk about food right now?"

"Oh, sorry dear. For when you're feeling a little better."

Gail's phone buzzed in her pocket. She tuned out the conversation around her as she unlocked the screen. A text from Chris:

_"You coming to the Penny tonight? I don't know if I can stand Dov and Chloe alone for more than 5 more mins..." _poor Chris. Such a good guy.

Gail quickly typed back: _"Can't :( Holly's puking all over the place. You can come over and hang out with us though if you'd prefer. P.S. WHY ISN'T THERE A PUKING EMOJI YET!?" _

Oh! A text from Traci:

_"Just take her temp every hour or so and make sure she's drinking fluids. She's a doctor so she's probably got that under control. God help her. BE NICE, GAIL."_

Gail responded with_: "Wow, Traci. Aggressive with the caps lock there. But thanks."_

Chris texted back:

"_I think I'm good where I am but thanks"_ and, "_Be nice, Gail :)"_

Why was everyone telling her to be nice?! Gail quickly put her phone back into her pocket and spoke up, "okay, well I'm gonna run to the store real quick before your tissue shortage turns into a catastrophe. I think you'll be in good hands while I'm gone. I'll get you some meds too; some strong ones."

Holly's mom patted Holly's knee, "Caterpillar, I'm gonna go get started on that soup for you," and headed for the kitchen.

Holly looked up at Gail with her best puppy dog eyes, "will you get me that special peppermint tea I like from Whole Foods?"

"Whole Foods?" Holly batted her eyelashes at Gail, "I was just going to go around the corner-Whole Foods. Whole Foods it is. I just have to take your car because I'm running on fumes."

"And make sure you get the real cold medicine. They can't keep the real stuff on the shelf-"

"Anymore because of the meth heads? I'm a cop remember?" Gail laughed.

"Oh. Yeah, duh. Well the stuff on the shelf doesn't work so make sure you get the methy stuff."

"Leaving now," Gail waved and walked out of the living room right before Holly turned and heaved into the trash can. Gail shuddered; _gross_.

It was over an hour later by the time Gail fought rush hour traffic all the way around town and then back again. She huffed into the elevator with the shopping bags and punched the button for Holly's floor. Thank god for elevators. She trudged down the hall to Holly's door and turned her key in the lock. As soon as the door opened Gail was met with what had to be the most delicious smell she'd ever smelt. Holly clearly didn't learn to cook by watching the Food Network. Gail immediately started to regret the dinner she had slapped together in the pre-made section of Whole Foods and scarfed down in the parking lot.

"Oh, Gail honey, try some," Holly's mom was immediately in front of her holding out a wooden spoon of soup, "I think there may be a little too much thyme." Holly's mom looked up at her expectantly so Gail dove right in.

"Mmmmm," Gail hummed through a full mouth. Chicken soup was kind of boring, but this chicken soup was amazing. Why hadn't Holly gotten sick before?

"Gail?"

Gail gave Holly's mom a thumbs up through a full mouth as she backed down the hallway to where Holly had called her name.

"How ya doing?" Gail casually sat down on the coffee table across from where Holly's head was resting. Suddenly she was being yanked by the front of her sweater. Her face was inches away from the back of the sofa and Holly was hissing in her ear: "you. Have. To. Make. Her. Leave."

Gail pulled away a little so that she was looking Holly in the eyes, "huh? What? Your mom?"

"Yes, my mom. Betty Crocker is driving me nuts. She means well, and she's helpful but I'm not nine anymore. She _can't _make me use a neti pot _anymore,"_ Holly whispered.

"Well what do you want _me_ to do?" Gail was at loss. Holly's mom wasn't exactly someone you _kicked out_. Even Gail knew that.

"This is all Summer's fault. If she hadn't opened her big mouth I could just die here in peace," Holly flopped back into the couch and started coughing.

"Hmmmmmm," Gail's eyes darted around the room looking for some inspiration, "why'd you even tell Summer you left work early?"

"We were supposed to have dinner tonight, remember? I called her when I started feeling sick."

"Where's your phone?" Gail asked, looking around for the device.

"Ummm," Holly felt around the couch before pulling it out from under her back and offered it to Gail.

Gail raised one finger, "hold that thought," and ran off to the bags of supplies she'd bought. She grabbed the Colorox wipes and bounded back to the living room. Gail took the proffered phone and gave it a good wipe down before disappearing into Holly's bedroom.

The phone rang three times before Summer answered:

_"Hey, Holly Bolly,"_ Summer greeted, cheerily.

"Actually, Summer bummer, it's Gaily Waily," Gail said, getting down to business.

_"Oh! Sup?"_ Summer asked casually.

"Your mom is _wassup_. Apparently you said something to her about Holly being sick. She came over here and is apparently forcing Holly to use a _neti pot?_ Or something? Anyways, I've been charged with getting rid of her. So that's where you come in. Make it happen."

_"_Shit._ Well what do you want me to do?"_ Summer was at a loss. Their mom could be pretty pushy when she wanted to be.

"I don't know. You and Holly were supposed to have dinner tonight right? Well make something up. Some emergency or something; you really need your mommy tonight. Maybe a pet died, you got dumped, failed a test, someone hurt your feelings, maybe your roommate sexiled you. You'll think of something..."

_"Uh, okay. I'll figure it out...maybe I can get a nice dinner out of tonight after all..."_

"Super, you've got like ten minutes," Gail informed Summer that the clock was ticking.

_"Don't worry, I'm on it. Tell Holls I'm sorry about 'Tornado Anne' and that I hope she feels better."_

"I will. Later, kid."

"_Bye Gaily Waily,"_ Summer bid Gail goodbye in a sing song voice.

_Shit_, Gail thought as she hung up the phone. Hopefully that won't stick. Gail made her way out of the bedroom again and busied herself disinfecting the apartment because; _GROSS_. She made Holly give her a step by step breakdown of her movements after getting home from work. Much to Holly's surprise, a few minutes after Gail had emerged from the bedroom her mom came and sat next to her and apologetically explained that she needed to go tend to Summer.

"Such a drama queen, your sister," she mused.

"She sure has a way with flair," Holly joked.

"Are you _sure_ you're going to be all right?" Holly's mom questioned.

"Really mom, I'll be fine. Thanks for the soup. You really didn't have to come out here. I'll be fine," Holly pleaded.

"Okay," Holly's mom sounded skeptical, "if you need _anything_ just call," she smoothed down Holly's hair again, "love you, Caterpillar."

"Love you too, Mom."

She kissed Holly's forehead and headed for the door. "It was lovely to see you Gail, make sure she doesn't croak on us," she gave Gail a tight hug, and just as soon as she had come, she was gone. Gail quickly wiped the door handles again. Only god knows what lurks on those golden orbs.

"So, Summer had an _emergency_, huh?" Holly called from the couch.

"Sounds like it," Gail mused as she walked in to the living room.

"Have I told you lately that I love you?"

"I am pretty awesome, aren't I?" Gail flopped into the armchair next the couch, "you know what else is awesome?" Gail wagged her eyebrows.

"What?" Holly asked, curious.

"Taking your temperature!" Gail said with an enthusiastic, open mouthed smile.

"Greatttt," Holly groaned.

* * *

That night after she put Holly to bed Gail once again, disinfected the living room, kitchen, and bathrooms. And then she gave Holly's leather couch another wipe down. Gail was not going to get sick. That was not going to happen. It was still pretty early so she channel surfed for a little while before making a bed for herself on the couch; Gail was _not_ going to get sick. As she tried to fall asleep Gail couldn't help but think about Holly's mom. That woman could _cook_. She couldn't help but wonder what it would have been like to stay home from school sick with Mrs. Stewart. Or, would she have been able to stay home since she was a judge? Maybe Doctor Dad stayed home with them. Gail never knew who she would get stuck with as a child. Her mom never made it an easy day so Gail tried her hardest never to stay home sick from school. But her mom tried. Superintendent Mom even told Gail multiple times that she should stay home but Gail refused. Steve did it too. Gail had felt so bad for him when he'd had his tonsils out in high school. He had to stay home from school for three days after the surgery, which also happened to be the last three days before Christmas break started. Their mom probably made him do more schoolwork at home than he would have had to do at school. Oh well, Steve survived. Gail could hear rain starting to patter on the window. On the bright side, at least she rarely fell behind on assignments. Gail hated having to catchup.

* * *

_"May, she will stay, resting in my arms again"  
__- Simon and Garfunkel "April Come She Will"_

* * *

**A/N: Thanks again for all the reads/reviews/favs! I hope you guys liked it! Let me know what you think! We've got another chapter of time hopping (because I'm not time jumping? It's kinda like a hop? I'm pausing along the way?) and then it's on to...well, I won't give it away... ;)**


	17. Chapter 17: June, She'll Change Her Tune

**A/N: This is a super long one guys. I hope you like it!**

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_"June, she'll change her tune, in restless walks she'll prowl the night"_

* * *

Holly looked over at the clock on the microwave again as she paced around her kitchen. 1:15. Wow. A whole five minutes had passed since she last checked. Holly spun around to top off her wine glass. However, when she tipped the bottle towards the glass it only filled up a fifth of the way, and then only tiny drops came from the bottle. _'Shit,'_ she thought, _'I've had the whole bottle?!'_ Holly sighed and reached down to open the cabinet with the recycling and tossed the empty bottle inside. She turned to lean up against the counter and tapped the home button on her phone as she took a sip of wine. Nothing. No texts. No calls. Not even a junk email. It was now 1:18, but the time wasn't really what Holly was after. She pushed herself off the counter and dug another cookie out of the cookie jar. It was chocolate chip, and it was _good_. She made them a couple hours ago; from scratch. With real butter. '_Goddamn it, Gail.'_

Holly filled up her kettle and put it on the stove. It was time to switch to tea. '_Fuck it_.' Holly yanked open the freezer door and grabbed the vanilla ice cream. She retrieved the ice cream scoop from where she'd left it in the sink and gave it a good rinse before lopping a heaping scoop onto the cookie. '_Delicious_.' Holly saw her phone light up on the opposite counter and she leapt at it. Why hadn't it beeped though? She was sure she had the volume cranked to the max. '_Oh.'_ It was just a Snapchat from Summer. '_What the fuck is Snapchat anyway?'_ Well, at least Summer was making the most of her break. She was down in California for the month of June shadowing their Olympic Training Center's exercise science team. Chula Vista looked like fun. 1:23.

"Five minutes?! Seriously?!" Holly questioned aloud, frustrated and tired. She banged around in the cabinets getting together a bag of tea and a mug. When the kettle started to scream she poured the water into the mug and then slammed the kettle back onto the stove. '_Okay, maybe that was a little excessive.' _

"Sorry!" She apologized aloud. Holly forced herself to take a deep breath. She collected her tea, and phone and marched off to the living room. She plopped herself onto the couch and fumbled with the buttons on the remote. Nothing good was on. Nothing. '_Oh, movies! Stick it; pass. Harriet the Spy; classic, but pass. The Patriot; pass. Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen; Summer, is that you? PASS. The Heat! Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy. What a pair.'_ Holly sipped her tea and watched the dynamic duo stumble through the streets of Boston. Holly liked Boston. She spent a month there for an internship one summer during University. "OMG! THE ALBINO COP?!"_ 'Should have seen that one coming.' _Holly glanced down at her phone. 1:46. '_Why wasn't Gail back yet? What if they'd been tricked by an albino cop/drug kingpin?'_

"Wow, Holly. Really? Really? You went there?" Holly questioned herself aloud, "and now you're talking to yourself? Real cute. Get your shit _together_." She took another sip of tea and retrained her focus back to the television now that the commercials were over. Holly glanced at the clock when she heard keys in the lock. 2:09. She leapt up from the couch, tea in hand and turned to the doorway.

"Hey. You're up," Gail pulled her keys out of the lock and shut the door.

"Yeah, well, I wanted to...you know...wait up...make sure you were okay," '_smooth Holly, real smooth. I couldn't sleep until I confirmed with my own eyes you were in one piece because I'm cool and chill like that.'_

Gail half smiled, raised her hand a little away from her side, and opened her palms toward Holly, "I'm fine." Gail almost had a confused look on her face. Of course Gail was fine.

"So it went okay?" Holly cocked her head to side.

"Yeah, easy peasy. In and out in an hour. Got the bad guys and everything," Gail smiled and headed to the kitchen for a glass of water.

"Wait, an hour?" Holly was hot on her heels.

"Yeah?" Gail grabbed a glass from the cupboard.

"You said you were going in at ten," Holly sounded a little irritated, maybe a little confused too.

"We did," Gail said nonchalantly as she dipped her glass under the faucet.

"Gail, do you know what time it is?" Holly questioned, crossing her arms across her chest.

"Um, no..." '_Uh oh,' _Gail thought_._

"It's after two o'clock in the morning," Holly exclaimed.

Gail nodded as she took a long gulp of water. What was going on?

"So that was like three hours ago?" Holly tried to clue Gail in to her train of thought.

"Yeah, well we had to book a bunch of guys, and then we had a boatload of paperwork to slog through. Then we went to the Penny for a bite. We hadn't eaten since lunch. Well, and then Chris and Dov got stupid drunk off like two shots so, being DD, I had to drive them home. Children," Gail scoffed.

"And you didn't call me? Or send a text?" Holly raised her eyebrows expectantly.

"I thought you'd be asleep, you've been working so much, and you've got that trial tomorrow?" Gail pulled out the confused puppy dog eyes.

Holly uncrossed her arms and dropped her hands to her hips. Was she tired? Definitely. Drunk? Probably a little. Sugar high? Quite possibly. "Yeah, I do," and just like that she was gone; out the kitchen and down the hall.

"What?" Gail whispered to herself and slowly tiptoed out of the kitchen just in time to see Holly emerge from her bedroom, her arms laden with a pillow and blankets.

Holly dumped what she was carrying onto the sofa, told Gail to "enjoy," smiled, and went back to her bedroom before loudly closing the door. It wasn't really a slam, but it sure wasn't gentle. Holly had never been a door slammer. Even when she wanted to she could rarely bring herself to do it. A few times when she was a teenager she whipped her bedroom door closed, only to grab the knob before the door made it to the door jam. '_What a wimp. _Holly glanced at her bedside clock. 2:15.

Gail stood stalk still in the living room, glass of water in front of her chest, mouth slightly agape. What had just happened? Gail looked around. She still had her shoes on for Christ sakes. No, but really, what just happened? So, she was spending the night on the couch? Gail hadn't moved a muscle. She apparently could spend the night on Holly's couch or her perfectly good bed in her and Dov's apartment. Should she just go home? Would that make things worse? Like Holly said, it was already after two in the morning and the couch was looking more appealing with every second that passed.

* * *

Gail awoke the next morning to the sound of clanking coming from the kitchen, along with a hissed "_shit."_ Last night came flooding back to her. _Great_. Gail stared up at the ceiling. The sound of Holly's heels on the hardwood echoed throughout the apartment as she raced back to her bedroom. The sound of rummaging, and then more heels; they were getting closer. Gail could hear the sound of a dry cleaner bag rustling.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to wake you," but the heels didn't stop. It sounded like they were making circles from the kitchen to the bench by the door.

"'Sokay," Gail croaked as she sat up on the couch, back to the armrest, facing the door. Holly was dressed to impress; a super sharp charcoal suit, heels that made her legs look divine, she'd even straightened her hair, was wearing more makeup than usual.

"I'm really late for court, but I'll see you tonight. I'll call you!" Holly called out as she rushed out the door.

"Good luck," Gail offered as the door swung shut. Well, Holly had taken her dress with her, that was good right? Gail flopped back into the sofa. Her day off was already going _so _well.

* * *

Gail turned her phone back on as she left the shooting range and hopped in her car. Woah. Tons of texts:

**Chris:** _"Do you know how to tie a tie?"_

_ "These instructional videos on YouTube are really confusing"_

**Traci:** _"I'm just staring at my dress uniform on it's hangar. I'm willing it to burst into flames"_

_ "No dice. I hate this thing"_

_ "Revolt with me! We can wear leopard print..."_

Gail laughed out loud at that one. That would definitely go over well with the department.

**Nick:** _"Do you know how to tie a tie?"_

**Dov:** _"Do you know how to tie a tie?"_

_"Never mind, Chloe's coming over"_

Why would anyone think Gail knew how to tie a tie? Oh shoot. A missed call and voicemail from Holly. Gail pressed play and brought the phone up to her ear:

_"Hey it's me,"_ Gail could hear Holly sigh into the phone, _"I'm still at the court house. They haven't called me yet. Nelson's out today so I have to go all the way back to the lab to check on the residents after I'm done here."_ Gail could hear Holly take a long exhale; she was probably whipping her hand out in front of her to look at her watch, _"so I should probably just meet you there. I'll meet you at the bar or the coat room or something. I gotta go. I'll let you know when I finally get out of here. Love you, bye,"_ that was the end. Holly still loved her. Gail listened to the message again before driving off to Casa Peckstein.

* * *

"Change of plans," Gail marched into their kitchen and made a beeline for the cereal.

"Huh?" Dov brought his glass down from his mouth. He had clearly just gotten back from a run. He was wearing workout clothes, his shirt was soaked with sweat, and his headphones where resting around his neck. "I thought you were picking Holly up?"

Gail busied herself throwing together a bowl of cereal. "She's stuck at court and is probably going to be late so you get to drive me," Gail smiled and then shoved a spoonful of Cheerios into her mouth.

"Sure," Dov shrugged, "why are you eating? There's gonna be dinner at this thing!"

"Okay, 'Bear Strength of God', this is the first one of these shindigs for so I'm gonna help you out a little. Lucky for you I've been going to these since I was in utero." Gail began lecturing Dov through a full mouth, "first off, the hors d'oeuvres aren't bad but they're usually a little sparser than I would like. Secondly, the main course always _sucks. _If it's chicken it's rubbery, if it's steak it's tough, if it's fish it's not actually fish. The rolls are cold and dry. It's always plated, not a buffet, so you can't even load up on what good stuff there is. Thirdly, the drinks are usually kinda weak but the wine there will get you _fucked up_. Lastly the dessert is usually pure sugar. This is recipe for a drunken disaster. You drink a lot of weak drinks before dinner, only get a few munchies, barely eat any dinner while downing two glasses of wine because you're starving. Then dessert comes, which just pumps you full of sugar. Next thing you know you'll be singing an '80's ballad with Oliver a cappella to the whole department. It's the perfect storm for drunken embarrassment. Trust me. You wanna drink at least another two glasses of water and eat something significant here. I'm gonna make some toast once I'm ready," Gail continued to power through her bowl of cereal.

"Uh, thanks?" Dov struggled to take in everything Gail had just told him.

Gail threw her bowl and spoon into the sink and darted off to the bathroom, "dibs on first shower!"

"Damnit!" Dov muttered under his breath as he turned to the fridge to see what he could scrounge up to eat. Gail hated these events. Her mother loved them. Gail even signed herself up for a shift during but her mother quickly put a nix on that making it clear the only escape from this dinner for Gail would be an apocalypse.

* * *

"So, how are those couch cushions treating you?" Oliver chuckled as he picked another mini quiche off his plate.

"What are you, Perez Hilton now?" Somehow Oliver had been able to load up a plate with the hors d'oeuvres that were being passed around. Where did he even get the plate anyways? Who cares, Gail was totally gonna hang around him because of it. She'd been to countless Police Department dinners and events at the headquarters building and she was over it.

"Okay, okay," Oliver raised his right hand up in mock defense while he used it to hold onto his beer and cocktail napkin, "what, _who?_"

"Paris Hilton's gay brother," Gail deadpanned.

"Wait! Her brother's gay? Conrad or Barron?" Oliver asked through a full mouth.

"I'm going to do you a favor and forget you asked that," Gail reached for a cracker and a slice of cheese.

"Ya know, I could really use another hand," Oliver mused as he struggled to eat and tote his drink.

"What you need is someone to carry around a plate of appetizers for you," Gail smiled sweetly at Oliver. He just wagged his finger at her the way he does when you've gotten one over on him.

"So you know I got one of those iPhone dohickes a while back," Gail nodded along, wondering where Oliver was going with this, everyone's heard of an iPhone. Gail had one too, "anyways, after that thing a while back with Izzy the girls got kinda freaked you know?" Oliver grabbed another mini quiche off his plate but continued to talk, "I think they thought I wrote parking tickets all day up until then," he chuckled, and Gail just nodded along with wide eyes. She wished Holly would get here already. "Anyways there's this _app_," Oliver rocked forward onto the balls of his feet as if the whole concept was foreign to him, "and this _app_, 'Find My Family?'" Oliver shook his head and squinted his eyes like he didn't really know what he was talking about. "'Find My Friends?' 'Find My Friends!'" He announced victoriously. "Anyways, I turn this thing on when I go on shift and the girls can see where I am," he shrugged like it was no big deal and grabbed a shrimp. "And they don't have to worry as much. I _used_ to be able to keep tabs on _them_ too but they locked me out after a couple weeks," Oliver sighed; it was nice while it lasted. "Anyways, it's cool, ya know?"

"I wish I could use that on the waiters," Gail grumbled.

"Ha! That's a good one," Oliver laughed and smiled.

"What's a good one?" Traci asked as she and Chloe approached the pair.

"Is that one mine?" Gail grabbed the drink from Traci's outstretched hand without waiting for an answer.

"We were just talking about '_Find My Friends_!'" Oliver said, once again, through a full mouth.

"Oh! My sister and I use that! Super useful for blind dates!" Chloe sounded so excited, Gail wanted it to stop.

"What's good for blind dates?" Dov inquired as he joined the group, "sorry, couldn't find any food."

"Told ya," Gail mumbled.

"'Find My Friends!'" Chloe announced cheerily.

"Oh, I'm totally forcing that on Leo once he gets a phone," Traci laughed.

Gail spied her brother walking towards the group. "Traci walk away," Gail hissed.

"Wow, love you too Gail?" Traci laughed Gail off.

"No, I'm serious," Gail pleaded, "shake a leg."

"What?!" Traci asked confused.

"Steve is coming over here, probably because he saw you, and if my parents see Steve and I they're bound to come over. Steve will gravitate to wherever you are," she tried to explain. "Toooo late," Gail said defeatedly as Steve placed his hand on Traci's back.

"Hey guys," Steve greeted everyone with a big smile. Gail groaned internally. Was this thing over yet? Oh even better, her parents had definitely just caught sight of their offspring and were headed straight for them.

"I hate you," Gail bit as she stared Steve straight in the eye.

"What'd I do?" Steve touched his chest and looked around just as his parents reached their little group.

'Good evening, sir, ma'am," Oliver said, kindly thrusting his dwindling supply of hors d'oeuvres in the Pecks' direction.

"Good evening officers," Elaine Peck beamed, "Oh, thank you!" Her hand hovered over the plate for a second as she decided what to pick. She finally settled on a mini quiche.

"Good choice," Oliver said approvingly, "I'd better try and find Celery," Oliver made a show of looking around the room. She _had_ been gone for a while.

"I'll give you a hand," Dov offered.

"I'll check the ladies room," Chloe piped up, "I actually need to head there myself."

"I don't think there'll be any celery in the ladies room," Elaine countered looking around confused. Gail locked eyes with her mom and shook her head back and forth. "I don't understand," Elaine looked puzzled.

"Oliver's girlfriend is named Celery," Traci explained with a smile and a hint of a laugh.

"Oh," Elaine looked a little surprised and slightly startled, as if someone had played a joke on her, but her husband just chuckled softly. "Anyway, we really should have more negative calorie food here," she straightened her uniform a touch.

"Yeah, next time get rid of the alcohol and just serve water and crackers," Steve joked. Gail shot imaginary icicles at him from her eyes. There is no way she would show up to one of these things if there wasn't any alcohol. She'd have to bring a flask. That'd work, she guessed.

"Gail, I thought you were bringing Holly?" Her mother questioned, trying to scan the crowd for the brunette, "where is she?"

"I am, she is. But she had to bring herself."

"No need to talk in code, dear. Always so cryptic," Elaine huffed.

"She got stuck in court, mom," could she really not leave one little thing be?

"Courts are out at five, dear," Elaine looked Gail in the eye. Steve and Traci shared a look. She really wasn't going to let it go was she?

"She had to go all the way uptown to the lab after and check her minion's work before coming all the way back downtown here," Gail rolled her eyes. Seriously. Maybe she could have gotten away with not even showing up so long as Holly was here.

"Hey Dad, you catch the Jays game last night?" Steve asked, trying to change the subject.

"Yeah, ya know the games are getting less embarrassing to watch every year," the elder Peck chuckled. "What was your ERA when you graduated? Two point eight? They could use you out there, Stevie," Bill laughed a deep guttural laugh.

"Actually Dad, I graduated with a two point seven."

"Ahh, still can't hold a candle to my two point three. You should try out next winter though," Bill joked.

Gail rolled her eyes. Sports. Boring. Baseball. Double boring. Holly like baseball though. Holly liked the Blue Jays. "Well I mean if Jimenez would take his diaper off, left his pacifier at home, and stopped sucking his thumb he might have a chance at actually catching the ball." Steve, Traci, The Inspector, and Superintendent all turned to look at Gail, mouths slightly agape, clearly surprised by her comment.

Traci laughed, "Holly yell that at the T.V.?"

Busted. "He's not even old enough to rent a car. He's practically Leo's age," Gail took another sip of her drink. Damn. Getting close to the bottom. She looked up from her glass just in time to see Holly walk through the doors of the lobby with Chris. Gail decided to down what she had left in her glass. Holly always looked beautiful. She had that nerdy 'I'm not putting in any effort but, oh, I look pretty great, and aren't you jealous' look down pat. But now, wow, now she looked smokin' hot. Runway material. She was wearing a boatneck sheath dress that bordered between royal and navy blue that fell just above her knee. Holly's black clutch matched the dress's subtle black sequins which were laid out in horizontal zigzag designs. When they caught the light they shone white. The dress was totally Holly; classy while being just a _little _different. If Gail wasn't seventy-five percent sure Holly was mad at her she'd drag her off to a coat room or empty office right then and there.

"Hey, look who I ran into in the parking lot," Chris beamed, "she tied my tie."

"Holly, so good to see you," Gail's mom smiled big and genuine. Wow, she was really laying it on thick tonight. Was her mom happier to see her or Holly?

"Oh yeah? You got a little something," Gail poked at Chris's tie and then poked him in the chin when he bent his neck down to look at what she was pointing at.

Holly rolled her eyes at Gail's antics and then turned, smiling, to the senior Pecks; "Good evening Superintendent Peck, _Staff Inspector _Peck_._"

Gail's dad put up his hands and pretend to brush off Holly's compliment, "you look absolutely lovely. And that's Staff Inspector _Bill_ to you," he joked with a jolly smile. "It's actually still just '_Inspector'_ for a few more minutes anyhow."

"Well, people better start practicing," Elaine joked.

"Sorry I'm late," Holly apologized, "I was stuck at the court house all day and they didn't even end up calling me. I have to go back tomorrow. Then I had to run to the lab and make sure my residents mistakes weren't permanent."

"Nonsense, we're so glad you're here," Elaine smiled. Gail was sure her mom was being sincere. It was definitely unnerving.

"Is that the Drago trial?" Chris asked, sounding impressed.

"Yeah," Holly sighed.

"One of my buddies over at twenty-seven worked that case. Said it was the worst he's ever seen," Steve added.

"What day of the trial is it?" Elaine asked, trying not to sound too impressed; because she was.

"Today's the first day of arguments I think. I just show up when they tell me. I try not to pay attention to what they're saying on the news," Holly said sadly. "I think after opening statements the only witnesses they heard today were the first responders. They kinda just throw me in a conference room until they need me."

"That case is really riding on the forensics, isn't it?" Elaine inquired with a smile. She was impressed, although she tried to hide it. If Holly had been entrusted with this case that had to be pretty telling.

"Anddd with that, it's time to get you a drink," Gail interjected as she grabbed Holly's hand and dragged her off to the bar. Holly could old smile and wave at the group as she was hauled off.

"Should we leave Chris with them?" Holly asked, slightly concerned.

"You mean, Craig? Traci will take care of him," Gail dismissed Holly's concern. She almost wished she could be there to witness Chris make a fool of himself. Oh well, hopefully Traci would fill her in later. "I hate these things. Everyone's milling around laughing and pretending to have fun."

"Yeah, well, free food," Holly smiled.

Gail leaned her side against the bar and ordered them two drinks. Holly faced Gail and mirrored her position at the bar and her smile faltered. "Holly, look I'm sorry-"

"No Gail, I'm sorry. I was a total spaz. I was worried and then everyone on T.V. was dying or getting shot or double crossed by albino narcs and I freaked out. I'm sorry I flipped out at you. And I'm sorry I made you sleep on the couch." Holly outwardly cringed, "It's kind of really embarrassing looking back..." she sighed. Gail was honestly surprised at the turn this conversation had taken, but she tried to not show it. She looked into Holly's eyes; they were so expressive. They said, 'I'm a fool. I'm sorry. I wonder how far I can jam my foot into my mouth.'

After a slight pause Gail raised her eyebrows, "Albino narcs huh?" and smiled.

Holly laughed and threw her head into her hand. "There were all these violent, scary movies on so I started watching 'The Heat,''' Holly laughed at herself.

"Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy were kind of everything I aspire to be as a police officer in that, you know?" Gail smiled.

"That doesn't surprise me," Holly laughed.

"I should have called," Gail said seriously, "I didn't know-I've," she sighed, "since I've been on the job I've only dated other cops. I didn't - sometimes I forget you worry. I'm sorry. I'll call from now on."

"It's okay, but thanks," Holly smiled softly, relieved.

"So just to recap?" Gail motioned between the two of them, "you're not mad at me?"

"No," Holly sighed. "I wasn't every really mad at you. I was worried, exhausted, under the influence of television, and kinda horny. I also probably had a little too much wine and cookies. And this morning I was _super _late. But I wasn't really ever _mad_ at you."

"Kinda horny, huh?" Gail's eyes narrowed. Just then the lights dimmed on and off. "Dinner time? I've barely eaten all day," Holly sounded eager. Too eager. Gail might have to share some of the edible portions of her dinner. Holly pushed herself off the bar and scanned the room for their table but Gail didn't move.

"Holly."

Holly turned back to face Gail, "yeah?"

"You're a really beautiful person. It's kind of annoying, actually. You _always_ look beautiful. Tonight," Gail bit her bottom lip, "you look absolutely stunning tonight. Radiant. You're magnificent." Holly blushed. "And totally smokin' hot." Gail was a master at cleverly disguising her compliments; at downplaying them. Holly didn't mind. That's who Gail was. At the very least it was always fresh and unique. But when Gail just said it, just said what she meant, Holly's heart stopped. She was in a room _filled _with cops. Someone must know how to use a defibrillator, no?

Holly beamed, "that was a lot more eloquent than the 'dayum' Chris greeted me with," Holly couldn't help chuckling. "You look pretty spiffy yourself, Officer Peck. I haven't seen this uniform before. I like."

"Oh please," Gail rolled her eyes, "this thing's a full body chastity belt, and it itches," she pushed herself off the bar and lead them to their table.

* * *

All through dinner Gail couldn't help but curse her family name. Being a "Peck" was the reason she was sitting front and center with the Chief, and Deputy Chief of Police and their wives. Her parents were sitting next to her so she couldn't even have a little fun with it. Steve was such brown noser. Holly was pretty into her dinner and yakking with the Deputy's wife about doctory sciencey things. At least she could make faces at Traci from across the table. Gail wished she could be a few tables over with the rest of Fifteen. Frank, and the division, were receiving an award for the successful handing of the Ford brothers, and their service under pressure after the shooting, so their table was pretty close to the front. But still, Gail would rather be laughing with them than scowling with her mother. Gail wondered if Oliver had any hors d'oeuvres left. She and Oliver even got a commendation for discovering that grow house which also led to the discovery of a murder. Thankfully she didn't have to go up on stage to accept that. Her dad was also being promoted from Inspector to Staff Inspector. Gail thought he deserved it. He did his job, he did it well, and he tried not to make any unnecessary waves. He had been married to her mother for almost thirty-five years. He deserved a medal for _that_. Gail tuned the Chief of Police out as he closed out the program but her ears shot open when he said "retirement." Gail could practically see her mother salivate. Opportunities to move up on the ladder were rare when you reached her mother's rank, but there was about to be a spot open. Even if she wasn't made Chief of Police she'd definitely have her sights set on Deputy. She'd probably start pushing for Gail and Steve to move up as well. Great.

As soon as people finished clapping and started milling around some more Gail grabbed Holly's hand and made a beeline for the bar. Gail skillfully weaved them through the crowd, snuck a bottle of wine from behind the bar, and steered them over to the elevators.

"Where are we going?" Holly asked, surprised, as Gail called the elevator to take them up.

"You'll see," Gail shutdown the question and pressed the button for the roof. They stepped out of the elevator, onto a surprisingly nice roof patio complete with outdoor furniture and some trees.

"What's this?" Holly asked surprised, looking around, trying to take it all in. Gail made her way over to the railing and leaned up against it, watching Holly poke her way around the space. Gail unbuttoned and removed her thick dress jacket and laid it on the railing.

"It's been my escape from horrible police events since Steve was tall enough to press the button in the elevator," Holly nodded her approval, she could see Steve and Gail getting into quite the trouble as kids. "He kinda outgrew it once he made detective though."

"But you never did," Holly said with a smile as she leaned up against the railing facing Gail.

"Nah," Gail pulled out her phone and demanded that Holly give her her's.

"What are you doing?" Holly asked when Gail started tapping away at both screens feverishly.

"You'll see," was the only answer Gail gave.

Holly reached for the bottle of wine in Gail's hand and took a sip, "I could practically see your mom salivating over the Chief of Police's stripes," she joked.

"Yeah," Gail scoffed, "why do you think I was so eager to get out of there."

"Ohhhhh," Holly smiled, "I thought you were just trying to get me alone."

"Yeah, well, that too," Gail winked.

Holly turned to look over the railing at the city below. It was a warm, but not hot, mid-june night and the sun was almost fully set. "Oh look! It's a prom!" Holly exclaimed excitedly. Sure enough, the hotel across the street had a roof courtyard that was swarming with high schoolers. They could even hear Avicii's "Wake Me Up" pumping through the speakers.

"That's disgusting," Gail glared in their direction.

"Wow, none for Gretchen Wieners over here," Holly looked over at Gail in shock.

"What? Half of them are going to wake up tomorrow more hungover than they've ever been; probably just as many are going to embarrass themselves one way or another; a ton of them are going to lose their virginity, have horrible, awkward sex or both. I'm just being honest," Gail smiled her _'I'm right and you know it'_ smile.

"Probably true, _but_ look at them! They're all dancing awkwardly and laughing and having fun," Holly was practically giddy and it made Gail smile a _real_ smile. The song switched to Sheriff's "When I'm With You" and Holly turned to face Gail and demanded "dance with me." She topped it off with a positively joyful smile.

"I don't dance," Gail shook her head from side to side.

"Please?" Holly smiled and batted her eyelashes but Gail was unfazed. "Are you really gonna say no to me when I look like this?" Holly up and down to herself. Holly had her there. Gail took Holly's hand, quickly pulled her into her, and started to sway to the music. She couldn't be positive, but Gail was pretty sure this song was on one of the CD's Oliver played in the squad car sometimes. Gail got an idea and looped her hands around Holly's neck and pulled her down in a slow and languid kiss. And then the dancing stopped and all Gail could feel was Holly's velvet tongue and warm hands drift up her chest to her neck, and down to her butt. Holly gently pulled away as the song ended and rested her forehead on Gail's.

"Why'd you stop?" Gail whined as Holly smiled at her. Her face was so close, but too far.

"That was a dirty trick, Officer," Holly tapped the tip of her index finger against Gail's neck.

"You love me," Gail smiled wickedly.

"That I do, that I do," Holly exhaled deeply and then smiled.

Gail got up on her tip toes, kissed Holly's cheek and whispered in her ear, "I love you."

Holly said "I know," because she did know. She could feel it.

"I'm really glad you're here, thanks for coming. I despised this less with you here."

"Are you kidding? I wouldn't miss it."

"We should probably get back downstairs," Gail sighed, "a Peck '_must always be there to wish everyone a goodnight,'_" Gail reached for her jacket to put it on and check her uniform.

"Ooooo are we hosting then?"

"Are you kidding? Like I'd approve of serving that nasty fish," Gail scoffed and headed back to the elevator.

"It didn't taste that bad to me. You barely touched yours! Wait! I thought that was chicken..."

"Exactly. You scarfed yours down! It was fish. Did you even chew? Don't get me wrong, you did a really good job hiding it, very lady like."

"Thanks," Holly smiled a cheeky smile, "my mom would be proud. I was _starved. _Oh! Can I have my phone back now?" Holly had completely forgotten about it until she remembered her mom had called while she was in court and she needed to call her back.

"Oh, yeah," Gail handed Holly her phone as they stepped into the elevator.

"What were you doing anyways?" Holly clicked the screen on, checking to see if Gail had changed her background to something embarrassing.

"Oliver told me about this _'super hip app'_ so I installed it for you," Gail said, sounding proud of herself but casual.

"Uh oh..." Holly was skeptical of Gail and Oliver's definition of 'super hip.'

"He loves it. He turns it on when he goes on shift so his girls can check to make sure he's still walking around and stuff. So I'm gonna do it too. Don't worry, I didn't turn yours on, I can't check up on your Tim Hortons addiction."

"Gail that's silly," Holly objected, "I don't need to voyeuristically check up on you. I'm gonna shut it off."

"Just shut up okay. I'm just going to keep turning it back on again. I want you to feel better if you ever start to worry. I'll only turn it on when I go on shift. Plus, I don't have anything to hide anyways, my baked goods and cheese puff addiction is pretty well-known. Just let it be, okay? Or, I'm gonna tattle on you."

"Tattle on me? To _who_?"

"Your mom. Duh."

Holly bit her bottom lip. She wasn't really sure how she felt about this but she'd drop it for now. Gail was being sweetly assertive and it was definitely a turn on. The elevator doors dinged opened and Gail led Holly back to the lobby in search of her parents, "c'mom, we need to get you home and out of that dress ASAP."

"Yes, Officer."

* * *

_"June, she'll change her tune, in restless walks she'll prowl the night"  
-Simon and Garfunkel "April Come She Will"_

* * *

**A/N: Let me know what you think! I'm not sure if time's gonna pass for another chapter or if the next part of the story is gonna get moving...we'll have to see about that...**

**Also! Major points to anyone who can name the Rookie Blue-er(s) in each of the movies Holly nixed.**


	18. Chapter 18: Bluebirds in the Spring

**A/N: Time's been flying by for the past few chapters but I'm slowing it right down. This is 1-2 weeks after chapter 17.**

* * *

"Okay, seriously McNally?" Gail looked around the waiting room from her left to her right before glaring at Andy. "People are _staring_," Gail hissed through gritted teeth. Andy continued to bounce the one year old on her hip in an effort to quell his cries, to no avail. Gail was right. People were starting to stare. When they first got to the crowded emergency room waiting area people seemed mildly intrigued by the two young female police officers and the crying infant. He was a cute kid after all; tight blonde curls, dimples, and blue eyes that got even bluer the more bloodshot his eyes became. He was wearing just a diaper and a pair of shorts. It was an unusually hot day for late June; by far the hottest it had been in the city since the previous summer. They even said that it might be a record setter. The waiting room was crowded when they got there and had been filling up even more in the ten minutes since they'd arrived. Gail had gotten good at blocking out aggravating sounds over the years; she'd had good practice listening to her mother. It wasn't so much the crying that bothered Gail, it was the staring. They must have looked like utter _fools_. Half the people in there were probably just feeling ill because they didn't have the sense to drink a cool glass of water. Who were _they_ to judge, Gail groaned internally.

"Gail, I am _trying_," Andy whispered back bouncing from one foot to the other.

"Give 'em to me," Gail conceded, extricating the now wailing child from Andy's embrace.

Gail tried her best to calm the distressed child but made no progress. '_I am NOT a babysitter!'_ she screamed internally, bouncing around, avoiding the gaze of the onlookers.

"Holly, hey!" Gail heard Andy call from behind her.

"Hey Andy," Holly greeted cheerily.

Gail whipped around surprised, "what are you doing here?" Another witness to their misfortune and ineptitude, excellent.

"Good to see you too," Holly chastised jokingly, "I'm meeting my dad for lunch."

"Oh," that explanation would pass.

"Who's your friend?" Holly smiled.

"Come on Hol, you've met McNally like seventy-five times," Gail joked. Four eyes rolled in their sockets.

"I meant this little guy," Holly smiled and leaned down to take the baby's hand and look him in the eyes.

"Prince Cries-A-Lot," Gail deadpanned. It wasn't even one in the afternoon and she was so done with this day, with this itchy uniform, with long sleeves, and with shoes.

"We brought his mom in for an overdose. We're waiting for him to get checked out and for someone from child services to get here," Andy explained, "and he hasn't stopped crying since the ambulance."

"Can I try?" Holly asked Gail. Gail wondered if she was deaf but eagerly handed off the infant. Holly rested him on her hip, brought her face to his eye level and made cooing sounds. She was wearing one of the biggest smiles Gail had ever seen. The boy slowly started to quiet down, but he was still far from silent. Holly used one hand to anchor him on her hip and the other to casually feel around the boy's back, chest, and head. "Was it Meth?"

Gail and Andy looked at each other and then both answered, "probably."

"Yeah," Holly sighed sadly, "I can smell it on him," she leaned forward and looked into his mouth. Holly turned back to Gail, "take him for a second? I'll be right back."

Gail and Andy watched Holly breeze past them into the heart of the Emergency Room.

The boy's cries immediately started to gain force again, "she better be coming back soon," Andy sighed.

Every eye was on the two Coppers when Holly returned a few minutes later. She was carrying a plastic cup in her left hand and she had her fore and middle finger submerged in the water.

"Hold that for a sec?" Holly passed the cup off to Andy and took the boy from Gail. His cries became less urgent as soon as soon as he was back in Holly's arms.

"I think he likes you," Andy commented with a smile, glad that he was at least quieting down somewhat.

"Well I like him," Holly smiled at the infant as she shifted him onto her right hip. She returned he fingers to the cup that Andy held out for her. It was mostly ice, filled in with cold water.

"What are you _doing_?" Gail asked skeptically.

"He's teething," Holly answered, removing her fingers from the cup and slipping them into the little boys mouth. She gently massaged his gums with her icy fingers as he began to suck gently on them. After a few moments he began to calm considerably, obviously still in distress but momentarily content.

"I hope you washed your hands," Gail smirked and raised an eyebrow which earned her a halfhearted nudge from McNally.

"Of course I washed my hands," Holly chose to ignore Gail's double meaning. The once screaming infant was now nestled comfortably in Holly's arms, his head resting on her collarbone and neck, while gripping her shirt with his right hand.

"Sorry I'm late, you ready?" Holly's dad approached her through the automatic Emergency Room doors not yet noticing her company, "Oh! Afternoon Officers," he greeted Gail and Andy with a smile. He was still dressed in scrubs but had left his white coat behind.

"Dr. Stewart, this is my partner, Andy McNally. Andy this is Dr. Stewart; Holly's dad."

"Nice to meet you, Dr. Stewart," Andy smiled as she shook his proffered hand. Such a suck up, Gail forced herself not to roll her eyes.

"Oh please, it's Geoff," he smiled wide and placed his hands on hips. "Who's this little guy?" He placed his hand on the infants back and tried to get a look at his face.

"We brought his mom in for an overdose. We're waiting with him until we can get him seen and someone from child services shows up. It's pretty packed today" Gail sighed and looked around the waiting room. Her and McNally's complete lack of grace with the child was embarrassing, but she hated seeing kids in trouble. It wasn't their fault. Holly was right; you could smell Meth on him. He was probably going through withdrawal and he can't even talk yet.

"How long have you been waiting?" Geoff looked at his watch as did Andy.

"Twenty minutes?" She answered.

"That's quite a long time," he said to the little boy, "let me go see who's on call for PEDs,"

"Thanks dad," Holly smiled as he walked back through the automatic doors.

"Your dad's a doctor here?" Andy asked.

"Yup," Holly swayed back and forth with the little boy.

"He's a pediatric surgeon," Gail corrected, hoping he might be able to get the boy some help.

"Fancy," Andy smiled, impressed.

"I guess, in a world in which getting blood on you is fancy," Holly joked. She felt the boys bum and then scrunched up her face, "guys, I think someone here needs a change."

"McNally, I'm done changing your diapers," Gail deadpanned.

"Har har. Very funny Gail," Andy made an unimpressed face at her as Holly's dad walked back out through the automatic doors.

"I talked to Richards, she's on call for PEDs, and she's gonna take a look at him as soon as she finishes up with her patient. Should be about five more minutes. I should have a free hour when I get back so I'll try and swing by then," he said with a smile. "Hungry?" He looked over at Holly.

"Starving!" Holly passed the boy back to Gail.

"Wait," Gail looked down at the baby and back up at Holly, "I thought you said he needed a change?"

"Good memory!" Holly smiled, "can I bring anything back for you guys?" She asked as she turned to leave.

"A six pack?"

Andy glared at Gail, "we're good thanks. Nice to meet you," Andy smiled at Holly's dad. Gail and Andy watched the Stewarts as they walked out the doors. "Well that was lucky," Andy commented.

"Something like that," Gail returned her gaze to the little boy who had started to fuss again.

"So...do you wanna rocks, paper, scissor?" Andy asked with a slight cringe.

"Hell no," Gail dismissed, "we're gonna wait for the nurse and plead ignorance."

* * *

**A/N: Stretch your legs because you're going to need to buckle your seat belts next chapter.**

**P.S. I love you all**


	19. Chapter 19: July, She Will Fly

**A/N: So I fibbed, but make sure your seat belts are buckled for the next chapter.**

* * *

_"July, she will fly, and give no warning to her flight"_

* * *

The room was silent except a gentle breeze blowing through the open window. Through the darkness Holly could make out the curtains billowing in the wind. It had cooled down significantly since the heat wave last week. At night it was the perfect temperature for sleeping. Holly liked leaving the window open over having the air conditioning on. It was just more peaceful. You know what was not peaceful? Gail Peck.

"Gail?" Holly's voice drifted out into the open room. She was facing the window with her back to the blonde.

"Hm" was the officer's only response. Was Gail even aware she'd said it?

Holly rolled over to face her. Gail was lying on her back, staring up at the ceiling. Her right leg was hooked around the top of the comforter, her hands meeting on her stomach, fingers twiddling around each other in the dark. Holly placed her left hand on top of the pile, halting their frantic movements while keeping her eyes on Gail's face. Gail rolled her head to the left to meet Holly's gaze.

"I know you're lying pretty still, but I can feel you bouncing off the walls."

"Sorry," Gail apologized.

"Don't be sorry," Holly smiled and kissed Gail's nose. "I know it's scary to be the teacher all the sudden, but you're just going to be extra grouchy tomorrow if you don't get some sleep."

"Maybe I want to be extra grouchy," Gail mused. At least then the rookies wouldn't want to get on her bad side. Holly chuckled, she stepped right into that one, "don't worry, you'll be fine."

Gail rolled her eyes, "easy for you to say, Ms. Perfect. Plus, it's not me I'm worried about."

"Just roll over and be my little spoon."

Gail did as she was told, scooting back into the brunette's warm embrace. Holly ran her hand up and down Gail's arm before lightly brushing the blonde hairs away from her neck and trailing kisses from there to her shoulder. Gail elicited a hiss followed by a moan as her back bowed, causing her butt and shoulders to thrust back into Holly.

"I thought-" Gail forced herself to swallow through a sly smile, "you wanted me to go to sleep?"

Holly moved to nibble on Gail's ear and whispered, "I want you to _relaxxx,_" before dipping her hand under the bottom of the blonde's tank top.

* * *

"Cross, you're with Epstein," Frank announced. Dov tried to look sternly over at his rookie. Gail almost laughed. He looked outright constipated.

"Jackson with McNally," Andy smiled and waved over at the bright eyed and bushy tailed rookie. Gail couldn't help but think this girl was McNally's spirit animal. They practically had the same haircut and both looked a little too cheery. This Jackson girl definitely had an air of naiveté about her too. "You're not her tour guide," Gail whispered out of the side of her mouth, rolling her eyes.

"Right," Andy dropped the smile and crossed her arms.

"Hamilton," Frank looked up from his list and smiled, "with Peck." Frank looked Gail in the eye and winked, "be nice."

"I'm always nice, sir," Gail smiled a sly smile as she swiveled in her chair slowly from side to side.

"Okay, Collins with Diaz, Price with Shaw. Williams and Martin on desk. All right! Serve, protect, come home in one piece with all my gear!" Frank dismissed the group and the rookies quickly scurried off to collect their duffels and head to the car.

"Okay!" Oliver raises his hands over is head and directs attention down to himself, "I've got the pool for how many times Peck makes her rookie cry. Get 'em in before I roll out," the room erupts in laughter and the senior officers start shouting out numbers.

"I'll put ten on four," Sam laughs.

"Fifteen on six," Traci shouts.

"Pics or it didn't happen, Peck!" Oliver shouts.

"Yes, sir," Gail salutes Oliver with a laugh as she exits the room.

"Oh! And how many squad cars Epstein and his get locked out of and/or lose!"

Gail eyed her rookie as she pushed the door to the parking lot open. He was crouching over his duffel in front of their car rummaging through its contents. She stood just outside the entryway for a moment, trying to size him up. He zipped up his bag, stood up, and patted his uniform before throwing the duffel over his shoulder. Gail thought he looked a little squirrelly. As she approached the squad car he turned around to face her; a nervous smile on his face.

"Owen Hamilton," he quickly offered his hand.

"Gail Peck," she accepted cooly before rounding the car and placing her duffel in the back. The rookie didn't move and just bounced around on his toes. She kept her hand on the top of the open trunk lid, "you gonna ride with that on your lap?"

"Uh, no ma'am," he sped over to her and placed the duffel carefully in the back.

"Is that gonna be the last time you embarrass me today?" Gail slammed the trunk shut.

"Yes, ma'am, absolutely, last time," he forced a smile. Oliver and Chloe eyed the pair as they made their way to their car. Gail just stared him down and after a moment of silence raised a single eyebrow. "Uh, well, probably not. But I apologize in advance." Oliver and Chloe chuckled as they slid into their seats. Gail just nodded and motioned for him to get in the car.

"So, uh are you related to Superintendent Peck?" Hamilton looked over at Gail as he continued to nervously run his hands up and down his thighs. They had gone four blocks from from the station and he was clearly starting to squirm. Right where Gail wanted him. She smiled to herself but didn't take her eyes off the road as she said, "she gave me an 'X' chromosome way back in the day."

It took him a few beats to respond, "cool she, ah, your mom- I mean, Superintendent Peck, came and spoke to us at the Academy. She was, uh, motivating." Gail glanced his way for a second. If she wasn't having too much fun she might have felt sorry for him. She's pretty sure she could feel the air escape his lungs as the radio crackled to life;

_"EMS requesting escort at Jarvis and King. Subject is EDP."_

Hamilton couldn't suppress his smile, "are we going?"

Gail didn't flinch, "what is it about someone in need of psychiatric care threatening medics that makes you smile so brightly?"

Chloe's voice cut through the radio,_ "15-04, we're on our way."_

"Oh. I. Um. I was just, ya know..." damn, this guy's foot was pretty far in his mouth.

"Relax, eager beaver," Gail pulled into a parking spot outside her favorite doughnut shop, "hop to." She fished a note out of her pocket and told him to get her a hawaiian doughnut, a medium coffee, and "something for yourself." After he scurried into the store Gail got out of the car and leaned against the hood. At least this kid wasn't some annoying cocky shrimp. He was eager to please, but maybe a little too eager. Only time would tell. It was getting hot again. Seeing as it was now July 1st Gail's desire for desk duty had increased greatly. There was zero risk of a sunburn on desk duty. Plus, the station was air conditioned. Boring, but air conditioned. Noelle must have planned it perfectly.

"One iced double double and one hawaiian," Hamilton offered Gail a travel cup and a pastry bag with a smile. She placed the plastic cup on the hood of the squad car and pulled the doughnut out of the bag and took a bite.

"So here's the deal. You don't know anything and everyone can tell. I'm sure there wasn't a soul in that coffee shop who didn't know today is your first day," she paused to take another bite. "Do as I say, not as I do; don't speak to anyone before looking to me; don't touch your radio unless I say; don't write anything in your book unless I say." Gail took another bite of her doughnut to let what she'd said sink in, "my job isn't to hold your hand, or wipe your nose, or check your spelling. Your job _isn't _to _try_ to impress me. I'm not easily impressed and it would probably lead you into trouble." Another bite. "You might think I'm being a hardass but this isn't about me. My job is to keep you _safe_. One call at a time, one step at at time. Every day is different, but we're both going home today,. Kapeesh?" Gail took her final bite, slid off the car, grabbed her coffee and hopped back in the driver's seat just as the radio sounded out again;

_"15-19, are you 10-8?"_

Gail grabbed the radio and responded, "15-19, we're 10-8," before calling out the window with a smile, "rookie, you coming?" Hamilton eagerly fumbled with the door handle a couple times before plopping himself down in the passenger seat with a suppressed smile.

_"We've got a 9-1-1 call for a disturbance at the fountains, Wenton Park. Subject is 10-62."_

Gail reached for the radio, "10-4. We're on it."

_"10-64, 15-19, subject might be armed."_

"Copy," Gail put the radio down and quickly pulled the car out onto the road. "Hamilton, what are you waiting for? Hit the lights." He complied immediately.

"So, where are we going? What are we doing?" Gail quizzed the rookie.

He bobbed his head back and forth as he rattled off the specifics of the call, "We're going to Wenton park, Queen and Duncan. Possible wanted and armed subject causing a disturbance. We've been advised to proceed with caution."

"Wenton Park. Fountains. July. What does that mean to you?"

"Uh,"

"July; school's out," Gail prompted as they cruised through an intersection.

"Right, fountains-no school-kids," Hamilton stuttered.

"Two points for Ravenclaw. We're getting close, kill the sirens but keep the lights," she instructed.

* * *

Gail dumped her bag and keys onto the ground before she even shut the door. She was beat. Holly's head popped out from the kitchen, "Hey! How was your first day as a _Training Officer_?" She was smiling from ear to ear. Gail dragged herself into the kitchen and lazily hopped up on the counter, resting the back of her head against the cabinet. "Exhausting. It was exhausting," Gail reported through closed eyes. Holly stepped between Gail's legs, resting her hands on Gail's thighs, and kissing her lightly on the lips. Gail smiled and wrapped her leg's around Holly.

"So your rookie only cried twice?" Holly asked with a smile.

"Yeah. I mean the second time was because an 8 year old punched him in the junk. I kinda felt sorry for the guy. Wait, how'd you know he cried?" Gail's eyes shot open and leaned forward from the cabinet she'd been resting against. Holly smiled even wider as she pulled a wad of cash out of her back pocket and fanned it in front of Gail's face.

"Oliver just dropped it off. Apparently he had a lot less paperwork than you."

Gail's jaw dropped. "_You_ placed a bet?"

"Hell yeah!" Holly laughed, "Noelle texted me. I think she was trying to scrounge up a little entertainment for herself. She said desk duty is getting boring. She's gotta be close to popping, no?"

"Meh, I think she's got another month," Gail said disinterestedly, grabbing the roll of money from Holly's hands. She started flipping through the bills, "how much did we win?"

"Um," Holly took the money back from Gail and returned it to her back pocket, "I think you mean how much did _I_ win. And, _I_ won a hundred and sixty-five bucks."

Gail narrowed her eyes and took a swipe of the cookie dough out of the bowl next to her. Holly had just finished mixing it together. "What are these for?" Gail asked through a full mouth.

"New interns start tomorrow," Holly answered matter-of-factly. Gail's face immediately turned into a pout until Holly added, "I _of course_ made extra just for you."

"I love you," Gail pulled Holly in closer and started kissing that spot in her neck that made the brunette go weak at the knees. Holly reached back and grabbed Gail's hand before it made it down to her back pocket.

"Nice try, officer," Holly smiled and Gail sighed, resting her forehead on Holly's shoulder. Busted. "C'mon," Holly laughed, "I'm taking you out to celebrate your first day and your coworkers are footing the bill." Gail smiled but was still looking down at Holly's feet.

"Yay," Gail said happily but quietly, "just let me play dead here for a minute."

* * *

_"July, she will fly, and give no warning to her flight"  
-Simon and Garfunkel "April Come She Will"_

* * *

**A/N: Belated shout out to schoobeedooh, and a couple of guests who knew Steve was in confessions, Andy was in Stick it, Dov was in the Patriot, and that he and Gail were both in Harriet the Spy!  
I love all your reviews/views/favs/follows! You guys are great!  
****Things start to pick up again next chapter...you've been warned...**

**P.S. Noelle's got another baby on the way in "Killing Time-verse"! Boy? Girl? Boy and Girl? Names?**


	20. Chapter 20: My Baby's Got a Suitcase

**A/N: Just FYI I'm assuming Chloe and Nick aren't training officers yet since they're a couple years behind the original rookies.**

* * *

_"I can't unpack my heart leaving through the door. My baby's got a suitcase but please don't ask me why"_

* * *

Dov raised his glass, "I'd like to propose a toast. To us, and our rookies, for surviving our first week as training officers. Who _knows_ what would have happened to us if they didn't," Dov finished with a chuckle. Chris, Gail, Andy, and Chloe all clinked glasses with him in celebration.

"Congrats guys," Chloe said excitedly.

"It's only been four days," Gail groaned, trying to stay realistic.

"Yeah, well," Chris smiled, "it's our 'weekend' so we kinda finished a whole week," he shrugged and then took another sip of his beer.

"I'm going to get another drink," Gail pushed herself off the table and headed to the bar.

"Oh my god!" Chloe exclaimed, patting the table top in excitement, "you will _never_ guess who Nick and I saw when we were on patrol today!" She looked around the table expectantly.

"Umm, I don't know, Justin Bieber?" Dov was first to play along.

"Nope!" Chloe shook her head side to side with a grin on her face.

"Uh, Donald Sutherland?" Chris asked.

"What?! No, who even is that?" Chloe sounded insulted by Chris's guess. "You guys suck. We saw RYAN REYNOLDS!"

"NO WAY ARE YOU SERIOUS?!" Andy lunged forward on the table as if being closer to Chloe might make Ryan Reynolds appear.

"Yes! I'm pretty sure he was walking down Queen with his mom."

Chris and Dov looked at each other and shrugged as Chloe and Andy yammered on about the sighting. Holly opened the door to the Penny and immediately spotted Chloe talking animatedly. "Hey guys," Holly smiled widely, greeting the group and taking Gail's vacated chair.

"Holly!" Chloe whipped around from facing Andy and asked proclaimed, "you will _never_ guess who I saw today!"

Holly was a little taken aback but quickly guessed, "Seth Rogan?"

"No...but that would have been super cool. Oh! Oh my god, how cool would it be to arrest Seth Rogan? Never mind, guess again."

Holly's eyes naturally floated up and to the right as she tried to picture famous people Chloe might have encountered, "Ryan Reynolds?" She guessed, having come up with nothing else.

"YES!" Chloe slapped the table excitedly, "he was walking down Queen street with his mom, I think." Holly nodded her approval and amazement. Sometimes she wondered if Chloe was a super caffeine addict, or if maybe she was on speed. Holly thought she was nice none the less, definitely a well meaning person. "Did you guys see Noelle's new sonogram? I know she said they want it to be a surprise, but I _swear_ it's a boy," Chloe raised her eyebrows and nodded a little bit before adding, "if ya know wha I meannn." Everyone around the table burst out laughing.

"That could have been the umbilical cord ya know?" Holly said through her laughter, "or a finger, or toe, or even an arm." This only made Chris and Andy laugh harder.

"What's so funny?" Gail frowned as she sidled up to Holly with a fresh drink.

"I swear Noelle's having a boy, and they think I'm nuts," Chloe huffed and took another sip. _You are nuts_. But Gail kept that comment to herself.

"My money's on a girl," Andy countered.

"Why's that?" Dov asked.

"I don't know, just a feeling," Andy shrugged.

Gail turned to Holly and gave her a quick kiss on the lips, "I'll get you a drink, I'm waiting for my food anyways. What do you want?"

"Thanks," Holly smiled, "surprised me."

"Weird," Gail turned and headed back to the bar. Why would _anyone_ want to be surprised about anything? _Especially alcohol._

"So," Chris seemed to be concentrating hard, "if it's a boy, do you think she'll actually name it after Oliver this time?"

"Chris that's ridiculous," Holly snorted, "you can't name your kids Olivia and Oliver. That'd be like naming them Alexander and Alexandra."

"Yeah, that'd be so jacked up," Dov agreed with a stern face.

"Yeah, that'd be weird," Andy agreed. "I bet, if it's a girl they'll name it after Noelle's mom or sister, and if it's a boy they'll name him after Frank."

"Always a safe bet, my mom has made it abundantly clear that she will be incredibly insulted if her first granddaughter isn't named after her," Holly rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, I'm probably locked into that too," Chris mused.

"Whatchya talkin' about?" Gail slid into the empty seat between Chris and Andy after placing Holly's drink in front of her.

"Holly and Chris's firstborn," Chloe answered with a smile, "well, firstborn girl."

"_Excuse_ you?" Gail shot Chloe a look.

"Holly and Chris's respective _firstborns_-two, separate babies," Dov clarified.

"Oh," Gail conceded before taking a huge bite of her burger.

"No way in _hell_ am I naming my kid after _my_ mom," Andy rolled her eyes.

"Me neither!" Chloe groaned.

Dov turned to look at her, "hey, your mom's great!"

"Yeah, and she goes by her _middle_ name, because her name is _Bertha."_

The entire table burst into laughter. Gail almost aspirated some medium-rare beef. Chris was barely able to choke out, "now that's just _cruel_."

Holly tried to catch her breath, "I mean, it's pretty ironic for a mother to name her baby 'Bertha' seeing as, ya know, giving birth and all."

"Ya know what would be _hilarious_, is if Chris named his kid, 'Cameron'. Works for a boy or a girl," Dov offered with a smile.

"_Cameron Diaz? _Real classy," Gail rolled her eyes with a full mouth.

"Not as bad as being named 'Wright Price,'" Chris shot back. "Just throw 'Ian' in as the middle name and his initials would sound like 'whip'."

"Nice, Chris, real nice," Andy laughed along.

"I'm never gonna name my kids a _thing. _Ya know?" Holly said.

"I think George Costanza was really onto something with 'Seven' as a name," Chris nodded his head and shrugged.

"Are you drunk?" Chloe asked critically.

"Now Seinfeld, that was a _great_ show," Dov smiled approvingly.

"I bet Kramer was your personal hero," Gail chomped down on a fry.

"Kramer! That's what Oliver's hair would like like if he had any!" Chris proclaimed with such enthusiasm. Dov just shook his head at Chris.

"No," Andy said sternly, and almost sadly, "no Chris. That's. Just. So _wrong._"

"Who wants to see my paparazzi pictures of Ryan Reynolds?" Chloe asked excitedly. "Or should I say, copperazzi?" Gail just rolled her eyes.

They spent the next couple of hours laughing and talking about random stuff. Every few minutes Chloe would bring up her run in with Ryan Reynolds and his possible mother. Dov and Chloe kept encouraging Chris to go up to random women at the bar. That wasn't really Chris's style though.

"I kinda feel bad for Chris," Holly mused as she turned on her car and the engine roared to life.

"Huh?" Gail had totally spaced out.

"The way Chloe and Dov kept egging him on? I don't know, he doesn't really seem to be the 'ask a stranger in a bar out' type."

Gail started picking at the knee of her jeans and started mumbling, "would you hate me if I just asked you to drive me home?" She continued to stare at her pants.

"No," Holly placed her right hand on Gail's knee. "Everything okay?" Holly sounded concerned.

"Yeah," Gail sighed, "I'm just really tired. This week was rough, I kinda just wanna starfish out. Plus I told Dov I'd go with him to the range tomorrow and I probably won't get up unless he's there pounding on my door. You have work tomorrow," Gail chanced a look over at Holly who kept her eyes on the road. That was a lie; she and Dov never made plans to go to the range. Why did she just lie? Why did she just lie to _Holly_?

* * *

Gail threw herself down onto her bed after taking a short shower and brushing her teeth. But even with all the space in the world Gail couldn't sleep. Her mind was a mess, racing with thought after thought. They all zipped by and she could barely make any of them out. She tossed and turned trying to find some bit of sleep. _Fuck it._ Gail grabbed her keys and drove out to the beach near her house. Or rather, her parents house. That wasn't really her home anymore was it? And she never owned it. So was it _her _house anymore? No. Not really. Gail took off her shoes and walked up to the water's edge. The water was warming up. It was summer now. It wasn't a battle of wills to keep her feet in for a few minutes. She looked down at the water and cried. She just let it go. But she didn't really know why yet. Or maybe she did. Maybe she just didn't want to admit it yet. She spent the wee hours of the morning, the next day, and the next night in bed. Just lying there. Drifting in and out of consciousness. Drifting in and out of thinking.

* * *

When Holly got home from work the day after next something just seemed _off_. Gail had been pretty MIA during her days off, but Gail did that sometimes. Sort of like a kid on school vacation; too euphoric to do anything sensible or rational with their time. She opened the door and everything _looked_ the same, but it just seemed different. She just couldn't put her finger on it. "Gail?" Holly was pretty sure she was here. Her duty duffel was by the door, she had brought it to the range no doubt. Holly moved to hang up her raincoat on on of the pegs by the door. That's when she saw it. Her heart caught in her throat. The hunger pangs she had been feeling disappeared and were replaced by something far worse. Holly heard Gail's footsteps approaching and so she grabbed it, holding it up for Gail to see, "care to explain?" her voice was light. So much lighter than the air around her. She almost smiled. Because maybe. Just maybe. It wasn't what it looked like. What it felt like. Maybe.

_Shit._ Gail sighed. That's not how she wanted it to happen. Well, she didn't really know how she had _wanted_ it to happen. Never. That's how she wanted it to happen; never. Holly's left hand was crossed over her chest. Her right elbow was resting in her left palm, holding up her right forearm. The hydrogen and sulfur keychain, along with the key she had put on Gail's keys were dangling from Holly's pointer finger. She looked into Gail's eyes. They weren't their normal clear blue. They were puffy and red. _Say something._ Say something.

_Say something_. Gail stood there like she had stood in front of her mother almost ten years ago. She was home for Christmas her first year at university. She told her mom she was 'never going to be a cop.' She was so stupid. She had known it was a lie. Of course she was going to be a police officer. Her mother could see right through her. She _wanted_ to become a police officer. Still, she couldn't stop the words from tumbling out her mouth all those years ago. And she couldn't stop them today. She had already made her choice. She looked at the floor. It was the _right_ choice. The painful choice. But it was the _only_ choice. "I'm sorry," is all Gail mustered.

"Gail," Holly sighed and took a step toward the blonde. But Gail matched Holly's step forward with a step back of her own, and a hand up that said 'stop.' Holly was wearing her glasses. Gail would miss her glasses. Gail would miss everything.

"I can't anymore."

"Can't what? What do you mean? We-we're happy-we-we're in _love," _Holly's mind was racing a mile a minute but she couldn't figure it out. B.A., M.D., Ph.D., none of them were helping her here. This wasn't real. It couldn't be real.

"We were. We are. But you-you're perfect. You-you bake cookies, you smile, you actually _like_ your family," Gail was rambling now, it was all spilling out, and just like years ago; she couldn't stop it. She had to keep going, "you're smart, you're _happy_, babies love you, and you want a baby and you want to name it after your mom and I can't give you that. I _can't_. You deserve _everything_. I-I have to let you _go_. Before-before it's too late," Gail didn't dare look in Holly's eyes. Her face, but not her eyes. She stared at her chin.

Holly tried to make eye contact but Gail thwarted her attempts. "Gail I-"

"Don't," Gail shook her head from side to side. Her ponytail following a little behind the motions of her head, quietly rusting on the back of her shirt. She had to leave. She had to leave right now. Before it killed her from the inside out. Holly was frozen. Frozen in time. Frozen in space. There was a light swish and rustling of straps and buckles as Gail picked her duffel up by the handles. And then the click of the door shutting. Holly couldn't move. And Gail was gone. And then she was walking. Speed walking. She was yanking open the drawer. It was empty. And she was frozen again. Frozen in July.

* * *

_"I can't unpack my heart leaving through the door. My baby's got a suitcase but please don't ask me why"  
-Emeli Sandé "Suitcase"_

* * *

**A/N: I still love you guys. Do you still love me? No? I understand.  
More questions than answers? They're coming.**


	21. Chapter 21: If I Should Stay

**A/N: Snow day today so you get a super fast update.**

* * *

_"If I should stay, I would only be in your way. So I'll go, but I know I'll think of you each step of the way"_

* * *

Gail shoved her key in the lock. The door creaked as it opened. Dov and Chloe sang their greetings from the couch but Gail only acknowledged them by curtly huffing "night" on her way to her room. Chloe and Dov swiveled their heads away from the television towards each other.

"What time is it?" Chloe scrunched up her face as Dov whipped his hand around to look at his watch.

"It's only seven thirty," he said confusedly.

Chloe pulled out her phone to confirm, "what the hell?"

Dov shrugged, "probably just Gail being Gail. She has been going in early since we've got the rookies." They both shrugged and turned back to their show.

Gail closed her bedroom door before leaning up against it, dropping her duffel to the floor. She slowly slid down to the floor and rested her left arm atop the duffel. It made a nice armrest. She sat there until the sun went down. Time for bed; if she could sleep.

* * *

On the first day Gail was partnered with Mini McNally. Jackson, or "Amelia if she preferred."

"I do not prefer," was Gail's cool response as she turned the ignition. She was not in the mood for this. Not in the mood for a doe eyed, bright and shiny rookie who would have made her want to stab herself in the ears on a good day. After enough looks dripping with icicles Jackson took the hint and shut up. She was still there though. _Smiling _in the passenger seat. It was so _annoying_. At least she could tell her gun from her coffee. Gail couldn't deal with teaching her how to tie her shoes today. Jackson also paid for lunch; probably the best part of Gail's day. No; the only good part of Gail's day. She closed her locker door and snapped the lock shut. Another shift over. Freedom to wallow. She was halfway down the hallway when Chris caught up to her.

"Comin' to the Penny?" He asked cheerily.

"Nope. Goin' home," Gail kept walking.

"What? Come on," Chris added a smile.

Gail stopped in her tracks and turned to face him, "Chris, I've been partnered with Jackson all day. I'm all chatted out. I need quiet." She turned and kept walking towards the door, "I'm goin' home."

But she didn't go home. She went to the beach.

* * *

The second day went pretty much like the first. Jackson kept talking and Gail tried her best not to listen. It was easier to ignore her with a day's practice under her belt. Today it was Andy who asked Gail if she was going to the Penny. Gail felt less of a need to be nice to Andy than to Chris. She replied with a cool "negative" and left it at that. Once again, she drove out to the beach. The sand felt good on her bare feet; soft and conforming after a long day. The waves provided a calming background noise that didn't pester her for attention. She could listen and think about the waves. Gentle lapping. The moon was getting fuller again and it's light danced on the water.

"Hey."

Gail hadn't heard anyone coming along but she'd know that voice anywhere. It made every bit of her smile. It was like lying in the sun on a cool day. It was clothes fresh out of the dryer. It was the towel that had been sitting in the sun being wrapped around you after getting out of the pool. It warmed her inside and out. But tonight it broke her heart. It split her open. Gail steeled herself.

"Hi," but she didn't look away from the water. She heard the sand rustling next to her as Holly took a seat. She didn't sit as closely as she normally would. Gail couldn't help but thinking it was probably for the best. Gail couldn't help but want her closer.

"Care to share?" Holly asked lightly but her sigh at the end didn't suggest levity.

No. Gail didn't care to share. But she would. She still loved her. So much. "It's usually you that has to spell things out for me," it wasn't cutting. It was an observation and it was very close to being fact.

"That may be so," Holly conceded half a smile. It wasn't her usual half smile that suggested more joy, mischief, and pleasant surprise than a full smile could. This was only half a smile; not a half smile.

"We're happy now. You love me now," Gail swallowed, "but what about when you need more. You deserve more. You deserve everything."

Holly interrupted, "Gail, _you're_ what I want," she shook her head.

"Holly. One day you're going to want a wedding, and a house, and a baby, and a puppy, and a swing set, and a disgusting minivan. And I _can't_. So I have to let you go."

Gail chanced a look at Holly's face. She looked sad. Confused. And a a little bit of something else. Gail couldn't place it.

"I'd _never_ want a minivan," it was a joke but Holly could barely make it sound like one.

"You know what I mean," Gail sighed. Holly wasn't going to let her off that easy.

"You're stubborn, you're thick headed, and you're strong willed. You commit. So you have to figure this out on your own. I can't do it for you," Holly's eyes were welling; tears waiting to fall.

"I'm sorry," she was so sorry.

"I know," Holly's voice broke and she forced half a smile.

"I _love you_," if only Holly could see this was why she had to.

"I know," Holly's voice broke again and she wiped away a tear with her left hand. "I love you too."

"Thank you. Thank you for letting me be me and for loving me for it. Not in spite of it."

This time Holly smiled for real, even though it broke her heart. "If I don't ever see you again, I will probably love you forever. But I won't wait around forever. So figure it out and don't take your time."

Gail didn't say anything. What could she say to that? She looked back to the water.

Holly didn't blame her, "be safe, Gail."

Gail turned back to look Holly in the eyes when she told her "I will. I promise I will, " because she deserved that. Holly worried sometimes. Most times.

"Good," Holly rose to her feet, "goodbye, Gail. Maybe I'll see you around."

"Maybe I'll see you around," Gail hoped she would. She hoped she never saw her again. She hoped for both. And then she was gone. Gail had been waiting for the other shoe to drop. She knew it would. So she cut the laces; she had to.

* * *

_"If I should stay, I would only be in your way. So I'll go, but I know I'll think of you each step of the way"_  
_-Dolly Parton "I Will Always Love You"_

* * *

**A/N: It hurts. I know it hurts. I've said this earlier but I'm gonna say it again. This story is way more about Gail's character development than Holly's just because we know way more about Gail than Holly. I knew that would be biting off way more than I could chew. So let's buckle up and see where Gail goes from here.**

**Why not distract yourself by suggesting a name for Noelle's baby? :) Love yous!**


	22. Chapter 22: There is Less to Say

**A/N: I don't want to spoil anything, but to those of you who are worrying; Gail and Holly are the only pairing this fic is listed under for a reason. They're endgame, guys! And honestly I'm too lazy to even attempt to put either of them with someone else romantically, not to mention I would loathe it. It's still snowing so you guys get another chapter! Lookout because I've updated 3 chapters in about 24 hours. Without further ado...**

* * *

_"If I lived till I was one hundred and two I just don't think I'll ever get over you"_

* * *

On the third day Gail was partnered with Nick. _Fabulous_. Actually, she decided it wasn't that bad. She knew it'd be easier to get him to leave her alone than anyone else. Plus, he wasn't a rookie. She had to have his back, sure, but she was less concerned about him shooting himself in the foot while getting coffee. Yes, she could definitely have worse partners than Nick today. He let her be and she was thankful for that.

* * *

On the fourth day she was partnered with Chloe. _Fuck that shit_. Chloe was the last person she wanted to be partnered with. No, that wasn't fair. Oliver was the last person Gail wanted to be partnered with today. Oliver had a creepy way of knowing exactly what was going on with everyone even when they didn't say a word. He would have seen right through her. She liked making fun of Chloe. Sure, she'd grown to not _hate_ Chloe, but goddamn if that girl didn't drive her nuts. Chloe was fun to make fun of and Gail thought Chloe had kind of grown more accustomed to it. But her heart just wasn't in it today. She thought maybe Chloe could tell but surprisingly, she didn't say anything about it. Small victories. Once again, she rebuffed Chris's encouragement to join him and the gang at the Penny. They had the next two days off, he pleaded.

* * *

"Hey, guys, are you like, worried about Gail?" Chris asked with some hesitation. Everyone around the table turned to look at him.

"What do you mean?" Andy asked.

"Well, she hasn't been around for like a _week_," Chris knitted his eyebrows. "She hasn't been to the Penny since...since before our last days off," Chris spoke with genuine concern.

"I just thought she was out with Holly," Andy shrugged her shoulders.

"She hasn't been," Dov shook his shoulders. "She's been at our place all this week. Without Holly," he took another swig of his beer.

Traci shook her head, "Chloe you rode with her today right? Was she okay?"

"I don't know," Chloe contorted her face into a jumble of lines. "She's _Gail_. She was kinda quiet but she kinda always is. She wasn't as mean as normal _maybe_. She doesn't like, _gab_ with me."

"Helpful," Traci said sarcastically.

* * *

On the fifth day Summer called and Holly told her. Summer was visiting their grandparents in Ottawa for a few weeks.

"Do you want me to beat her up? I'm serious Hols, I'll cut a bitch."

"No. _God_. Summer, it's not like that. But thanks, I appreciate the sentiment," Holly genuinely laughed for the first time in days. Summer was always good for a laugh.

"Okay, well let me know if you change your mind. I'll be back in town next week."

"She's still a cop remember? I don't think that would go over well for you."

"Meh, I'd deal."

Holly fidgeted with the blanket draped over her couch and Summer let the silence hang for a second.

"So, have you told mom and dad?"

"No," Holly sighed, "they're still in Italy, remember? They're not getting back until Sunday."

"Oh, right. How could I forget the reason I'm at gram and gramp's this specific week?" Holly was pretty sure Summer just rolled her eyes, even though she couldn't see her. "Well I won't tell them. Or I will if you want me to. Whatever."

"Thanks," Holly smiled. Summer was a little wild and she sure could put her foot in her mouth but she was a good kid. She was a good sister. "I'll tell them when they get back though. I just hates how mom gets you know? And dad's just so _awkward_, ya know?"

"Yup. Dad's a weirdo," Summer agreed quickly. "Ugh, I gotta go Hol. Time for dinsy."

Holly laughed, it couldn't be past five o'clock. "Tell gram and gramp I said hey."

"You got it. We'll talk more when I get home. Love you, Hols."

"Love you too, Summer."

* * *

On the sixth day Gail had dinner with Steve. It was their biweekly sibling dinner date. Sometimes it was lunch when they were really busy. Neither of them would admit how much they really loved it. How much they almost needed it. But they did. Growing up in the Peck household had bonded them for life. Gail owned her snotball status. She made no apologies for calling people out, especially when they deserved it most. Steve was more like Gail than he cared to admit sometimes but with her he could let it fly without apology.

"So, how do you like being a big bad training officer?" Steve wagged his eyebrows and reached for a second dumpling with his chopsticks.

"Better than being a rookie," Gail ripped off a bite of spring roll.

Steve continued to chew and nodded his agreement. Anything was better than being a rookie. "How are they?" He asked through a semi-empty mouth.

"Too soon to tell, but none of them have wet themselves yet, so that's good," Gail punctuated her point by stabbing the air with her chopsticks before reaching for a dumpling.

"How's Holly doing? She still finishing up that article for 'Science'?"

Gail looked down at what was left of her spring roll and mumbled, "I don't know."

Steve finished what was in his mouth but didn't go for another bite, "what do you mean?"

Gail rested her head in her left hand and looked up at Steve without looking him in the eye, "we broke up, okay?"

Steve leaned in a little farther, "sorry." He _was_ sorry. He liked Holly. She was cool. But mostly her knew _Gail_ really _really_ liked Holly. Not to mention the fact that Gail totally loved her.

"Not your fault," Gail looked back down at her plate and poked her spring roll with her chopsticks.

"Phew!" Steve leaned back in his chair and placed his right hand in the center of his chest dramatically, "I was really worried there for a second."

"Shut up," Gail grabbed a piece of carrot from her springroll in her chopsticks and flung it at Steve. A smile slowly spread across her face for a couple seconds before receding. Steve smiled too for a second. Mostly because that was the first time he'd seen Gail smile all week.

"When?" Steve cocked his head to the side as he asked.

"Thursday," Gail continued her dissection of her spring roll and ground her head farther into the fist it was resting on. Tomorrow it would be a week ago.

"What happened?" Steve's voice was soft and caring, his eyebrows were peaked above the bridge of his nose.

Gail looked up him, "don't wanna talk about it." She leaned back as the waiter refilled her water glass. Steve didn't push her about it. That's not what they were to each other. When they finished Gail didn't seem to be in a hurry to go though, so he suggested they order a second dessert. After dessert she still didn't seem ready to leave so her ordered a couple more drinks. After another round Gail asked the waiter for the check but Steve grabbed it before Gail reached it. She insisted it was her turn to pay. It was. Steve refused and slipped his credit card into the pleather envelope before handing it to the waiter as he passed by their table. He conceded it was Gail's turn, but he was treating her as congratulations on her first shifts as a training officer. He gave a cheesy smile and said how proud of her he was. She slapped Steve in the arm and she laughed when he playfully howled in pain. He was actually proud of her, and she knew it. He drove her home and waited for her to get in the door before pulling back out into traffic.

* * *

"So how was dinner with Gail?" Traci asked Steve as she ripped a piece of floss from the container.

"Delicious," Steve smiled through his mouthful of toothpaste and toothbrush.

Traci leaned up against the wall to face him with a knowing look on her face, "How's Holly?"

"She wasn't there," Steve gave her a 'duh' look. "Peck blood _only_," he closed his lips around his toothbrush and made a 'P' with his fingers in front of his chest. Traci rolled her eyes. _Such_ a Peck.

"How are Gail and Holly?" Traci raised her eyebrows. Steve didn't answer but turned to face the mirror and returned to brushing his teeth. "Did they break up?" Traci leaned forward and grabbed Steve's arm. Steve pretended not to hear her question nor feel her hand on his arm. He did a great job of it too. No eye movement, not body movement at all. If Traci didn't know better she would have been worried. "No!' Traci groaned and lightly slapped him on the arm. Traci asked Steve when, how, and why, but he continued to ignore her. She was kind of annoyed but she understood. Gail probably told him not to tell anyone. "Hey, you know how you were going to take me to the Jays game tomorrow night?" Leo was with Dex that night and they had planned an adult outing.

"Yeah?" Of course Steve remembered.

"You should take one of your buddies. Or your dad! You guys love baseball."

"Why?" Steve asked as he pulled back the sheets and crawled into bed.

"Cause Gail and I are getting drunk...well, I'm gonna let Gail get drunk, and be her babysitter."

* * *

___"If I lived till I was one hundred and two I just don't think I'll ever get over you"  
_-Colin Hay "I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You"  


* * *

**A/N: To put it bluntly, Gail's head begins to work itself out of her backside next chapter with help from someone you might not expect...Hang in there guys!**


	23. Chapter 23: Save Me From Myself Tonight

**A/N: I just want to preface this chapter by letting you know that I've posted 3 previous chapters in the past couple days and I wouldn't want you to accidentally miss one :)**

**Shout out to Gabe for your kind words and for seeing a little ways into the future ;)**

**Another snow day for me, another chapter for you.**

* * *

_"Can you heal my wounded heart? Save me from myself tonight"_

* * *

Gail made it through the seventh day without incident. She had been partnered with Cross for the first time. So far it seemed like, out of the rookies, Cross was the most intimidated by Gail. She shut her locker and clicked the lock shut.

"Gail you ready to go?"

_What?_ Gail grabbed the strap of her bag and slowly turned to face Traci who was smiling in front of her own locker. "What's it to you?" Gail asked cautiously. She could tell Traci was up to something.

"You're buying me a drink," Traci smiled and threw her own bag over her shoulder and took a couple steps forward; waiting.

"Since when?"

"Leo's with Dex tonight and Steve took your dad to the Jay's game, so you're stuck with me," Traci looped her arm through Gail's and started to drag her out of the locker room.

Gail began to protest, "I really-" but Traci paid her no attention.

"There's this really cool new tapas bar by my house that I've been dying to try but I just haven't had the chance. It's supposed to be really great and their mixed drinks are supposed to be killer."

Step 1: detain the prisoner; complete.

Through their first drink Gail deftly skirted the topic Traci had been trying so hard to breech. Traci was pretty sure the second drink was loosening Gail up though. Traci switched to water but ordered Gail another gin and tonic. The arrival of the cheesy fries really marked the opening of the flood gates. Gail was rambling, she was telling Traci everything, and she couldn't stop herself. She couldn't stop herself from talking and she couldn't stop herself from eating all the cheesy fries. Traci listened as Gail told her that she broke up with Holly, that she was miserable, that she couldn't sleep, she barely liked taking it out on the Rookies, that she'd been happier with Holly than ever before. Traci took a deep breath when Gail told her that she thought about the future and it scared her how much she wanted _everything_. Traci was a little confused when Gail asked her "what's the point of getting a puppy if it's just going to die one day?"

"Gail, you don't know that your relationship will die though."

Gail dismissed Traci's comment by saying it was a "bad analogy," and continued rambling on. Traci forced herself not to feel insulted when Gail asked how on earth she could do her job and not keep Leo locked in a "padded room in a basement fallout shelter." Traci knew it was time to go home when Gail's eyes started to well up with tears. On the two block walk back Gail made Traci promise not to tell anyone. Well anyone, "but Steve. I already told him. But we don't talk about that stuff."

Traci smiled and said "sure, if you want," when Gail said that maybe Traci should just tell their friends for her. The only new toothbrushes Traci had were Star Wars and Batman themed. Gail grabbed the Star Wars one as she said, "Star Wars is way cool." Traci felt a little badly when she gave Gail a large glass of water and instructed her to "drink up."

Gail's eyes welled up and she said, "that's exactly what Holly would always say." Gail could picture that smirk and the twinkle in her eyes. Gail could hear Holly in her head. She couldn't help but think that Holly could've had a lucrative career as one of those people that read books on tape. Gail was a little weirded out at first when Traci gave her a pair of Steve's sweatpants and one of his Toronto Blue Jays shirts to sleep in. "They're _clean_," Traci told her. So she put them on. They were comforting though. Gail hadn't told anyone, but when Steve had gone off to University and left her to the wolves she used to pillage the clothes he had left behind. Just for lounging; it made her miss him a little less. Traci set up the couch for Gail and tucked her in. Partially for safety sake. Traci turned out the light just as Gail said, "today's the thirteenth. We met on Friday the 13th. I just miss her so much. It hurts so bad, but it's all my fault. So I guess I deserve that." Traci wished her a goodnight and headed off to bed. She'd have to wait until Gail was sober to beat some sense into her.

* * *

On the eighth day Holly finished all her backlogged paper work. She did it meticulously and thoughtfully. It took hours. Long, beautiful, mind numbing hours. She felt pretty accomplished afterwards. She felt pretty miserable, but at least she had some accomplishment sprinkled on top. The final round of reviews and edits on her article for Science Magazine were supposed to come in tomorrow. Her final draft was due in a week and spiffying it up could probably occupy almost all of her free time until then.

* * *

On the ninth day Gail was on desk duty. She didn't mind the air conditioning at the very least. Noelle was on desk duty until the baby was born and Gail liked hanging out with her. Gail respected her, and she was funny. But she didn't put up with people's crap. Once everyone else had gone out on patrol Gail had gone to the kitchen to grab herself some coffee. Noelle was in there toasting herself a bagel; second breakfast much? Noelle told her that she'd heard about her and Holly breaking up. She said she was sorry. She said she was there to talk if Gail wanted, but that didn't really seem "like your style Peck," so she wouldn't bring it up again. Gail appreciated that. She mostly appreciated that Noelle didn't treat her differently that day; no kid gloves. Noelle was good company and it was a relief not to be waiting for her to bring Holly up. Gail thought about her enough without other people reminding her. It was a pretty slow day though. Noelle shared some of the more horrific names she and Frank had come across in the baby name books. Gail laughed at those easily. They also reminded her of that night at the Penny though, and that made her insides churn.

Ten more minutes and then she could change and leave. Just ten more minutes. But what exactly was she rushing off to anyways? She'd made a pretty comfy space out of the day in the precinct with Noelle. Shit. Could she just stay here? She finished rinsing out her coffee cup and put it in the dish drainer to dry. Gail turned to head back to her desk when she almost walked straight into Noelle's ginormous belly. Noelle looked apologetic. Uh oh. What now? "Peck...your mom's here. I'm '_fetching_' you for her. I'd let you to run but.."

'But she's Elaine Peck," Gail got it. And that's how her mom kidnapped her for dinner. She had been ignoring her mom for a week but when she called last night Gail finally picked up. She told her mom over the phone that Holly wouldn't be joining them for dinner on Sunday. When her mother asked why Gail knew there'd be no point to lying. Her mother could smell a lie a mile away, even over the phone. So here she was, sitting in a booth at her mom's favorite Italian restaurant.

"What did you do?" The Superintendent's words were direct, straight to the point, but somehow they were also soft and knowing. They weren't accusatory because they were said simply as fact. The sigh she released at the end of her question suggested pity, is that what it was? Or was it understanding? Gail couldn't tell.

"How do you know _she_ wasn't, like, a serial killer?" Gail tried to sound offended, she would have been if her mother wasn't so right.

Elaine opened her eyes a little wider and leveled her head, "Gail, please, let's not pretend we're any less intelligent than we are."

Gail decided to try and turn the tables, "how come you didn't care?" She asked with wide eyes; she wanted to know.

"How come I didn't care that you fell in love with a woman?" Elaine didn't miss a beat. She didn't so much ask as she stated the full question for the sake of being correct. Kind of the same way she used to correct Gail's speech when she was a toddler. She was telling Gail to speak in complete sentences. Gail continued to look at her mother, unmoving, choosing not to acknowledge what her mother said aside from maintaining eye contact. They both knew that's what she meant and she knew her mother would continue soon enough without prompting. "Why would I?" She brought her shoulders up to her ear, turned her palms face up on the table, and smiled brightly. Gail continued to wait. "I wasn't born yesterday, sweetheart. I like her." The Superintendent nodded with a closed lip smile before continuing, "you deserve to be with someone who has drive and purpose. You're not someone who should be slinking back into the shadows, Gail." She raised her eyebrows to accentuate her point. "You'd grow bored, or worse, dull with someone who couldn't match your intelligence and wit," she smirked and her eyes twinkled. Gail forced herself not to smile. "The person for you happens to be a woman, who am I to belittle that? You and I, Gail, have unique personalities."

"Speak for yourself," Gail interjected with an eye roll.

Her mom continued as if Gail had nodded her agreement, "Chris is a lovely boy. You're lucky to have a friend with such a big heart. But you deserve to be with someone who's charmed by your eccentricities, not someone who wants to crack you open." She paused to take a sip of water and then continued in her sing song voice, "no need to break someone apart when you can already see all the way through," she topped it off with a wink. "You don't think your father's _put_ _up_ with me for the past thirty five plus years do you? He loves all of it," there it was; that devilish Peck smile.

"Mom, _gross,_" Gail leaned back against the booth and planted her palms on the table in front of her, locking her elbows trying to create some distance.

"Oh, Gail, grow up," she dismissed her daughter's protests quickly and with ease. "You love her; I can tell. And she loved you, and I'd bet my pension she still does." Gail continued to sit stoically, trying not to give away any of her tells. "Ever since you were a little girl you've baulked at the things you've wanted the most. That's why I've tried to push you; so you don't miss out on what matters to you _most_. Promotions and commendations with come around again. It may be _quite_ a _while_, but they'll come around. _People_ don't really work that way though. Do you remember what I always told you?"

Gail's mom told her a lot of things. "Untied shoes are the quickest way to start the day in the dirt?"

"Well, yes. But no. Ninety percent _luck_," She paused, waiting for Gail to finish the saying.

"Ten percent timing," Gail finished it like she had for years. She didn't need her mom to check that she still knew it. It was ingrained in her.

"Ten percent timing," the Superintendent repeated with cheer. "You got very very lucky with Holly. Don't throw away that last ten percent."

Gail was starting to become overwhelmed with all the truths her mother was dishing out. It was really really annoying. It was time to put an end to this conversation, "well, thanks for the motivational speech mom. The Oprah show's been cancelled, maybe now is your chance. Ten percent timing."

"You asked, dear."

Gail knew that meant they could move on. For now at least.

* * *

_"Can you heal my wounded heart? Save me from myself tonight"  
-Rebecca Raabis "Firefly"_

* * *

**A/N: I know it's been rough going guys but thanks for hanging in there! Just a warning that I definitely won't be posting another chapter for at least a couple days. The good news is that there's some Gail & Oliver times in the next chapter, who doesn't love that? And don't worry, Traci's work isn't done yet :)**

**Thanks again for all the views, reviews, favs and PMs! You all are truly the greatest. If you need to take a break during these rougher waters I totally ****understand, but don't give up! Holly sure hasn't...**


	24. Chapter 24: Missing You Insane

_"I miss you like everyday, I said I miss you, missing you insane"_

* * *

Holly was hard at work on her article on the tenth night. She had a court appearance first thing that morning which had gone quickly and smoothly. She arrived back at the morgue a little after ten thirty. Her interns immediately came to her like moths to a light. Check this, check that, help, help, help. It was expected, but still overwhelming. However, the day turned into a welcome distraction. By the time Holly had gotten them all settled away it was nearly noon and she had yet to touch any of her own work. She had barely breathed by the time six o'clock rolled around. She judged it to be an acceptable time to clock out; wouldn't want to end up with free time tomorrow. When she got home Holly made herself some toast and got to work on the final revisions for her article. She'd been staring at the same sentence for ten minutes when she was snapped out of her daze by a heavy knock on her door. She checked the time on her phone. 7:30. Weird. She wasn't expecting anyone. It couldn't be? Could it? As she made her way from the office through the living room to the door there was another loud bang and a bellowed "Holly Bolly, I _know_ you're in there!" _Summer_. Holly swung the door open and yanked Summer inside before quickly closing the door.

"I don't live in a _dorm _ya know. I have real live neighbors who aren't accustomed to hearing shouting in the hallway."

"_Hol_," Summer rolled her eyes, "you have like _two_ neighbors who could have heard me. Rich McHotty is _always_ at work and Globetrotter is rarely within city limits. _Chill_."

Holly sighed, "I was already on my to the door when you so elegantly beckoned."

"Yeah, I kinda figured since you opened the door so quickly. _Anyways_," Summer raised and gently shook the pizza box and brown paper bag she had brought with her, plastering a huge smile on her face, "You love me. But, just in case your forgot why, I brought pizza and booze." Summer walked backwards off to the kitchen baiting Holly to follow the food. Holly resisted for a second but played along, "what kind?"

"Tequila and one fifty one. I figured you'd have the old man liquor accounted for," Summer put the pizza box and brown paper bag down on the counter.

"I was actually referring to the _pizza_," Holly opened the box to see for herself. "What is _this?_" Holly's head shot up to look at Summer who had fished a couple limes out of the grocery bag and had busied herself cutting them up.

Summer narrowed her eyes and a smile played across her lips; "_Extra tomatoes._" She sounded as if the tomatoes on the pizza were revenge, as if she just said she had keyed Gail's car.

Holly's eyes went wide, "yum?"

"I mean, I got extra cheese too, and basil so it's basically a low carb Margherita pizza. But it does have _extra tomatoes_." Holly side eyed her sister and smirked as she turned to grab a couple plates from the cabinet. "_Also_," Summer sang out, "I brought my boyfriends along," she smiled and produced three pints of Ben and Jerry's ice cream from the bag. "For later," she added as she spun around and put them in the freezer. Before Holly knew it Summer had transferred the pizza, tequila, limes, and salt onto her deck. They were two tequila shots and a slice and half in when Summer brought it up. "Hol," Summer reached across the table and planted her palm down on the wood surface, looking Holly in eye, "I love the geeky-nerdy-sciencey-I-have-a-real-job stuff, but we both know that' not why I brought the good stuff."

Holly tried to play it cool. She leaned back in her chair and said, "you're fleeing mom and dad's," in a knowing voice.

Summer rolled her eyes, "I admit I am super pumped not to be spending the night at home, but we both know that's not _why_ I'm here." Summer reached across the table and poured each of them another shot of tequila, "_spill_ sister." She pushed Holly's shot over to her.

"You're staying over?" Holly mocked distress.

"Don't try to change the subject," Summer responded flatly.

"There's not really anything to spill," Holly spoke quietly before she raised the glass to her lips and tipped it back. Summer followed suit. The sun was setting and the sky was ablaze. It looked like Holly's throat felt. Her eyes burned and she couldn't be sure if it was from the alcohol, staring at the sun, or...Gail.

"Soooo, what? You were both like, 'meh, wanna just be friends? K cool?' Get real Hol."

Holly dropped her head back and exhaled loudly, "she ended it okay? I don't really know why, I guess. I came home and she had packed up her stuff and she gave me my key back." Holly popped the rest of the slice she had been working on into her mouth. It was a huge bite but she forced herself to chew.

"That's rough," Summer conceded, contorting her face as if the words would sting them both. She poured them each another shot as Holly plopped another slice of pizza onto her plate. "So what happened?"

Holly rolled her eyes, "I just _told_ you what happened." She was starting to slur her speech a little bit; definitely getting a little drunk.

"You better be super thankful that _I'm_ here because otherwise _mom_ would be." Holly groaned and dropped her head onto her forearm that was resting on the table. "She was on me like white on rice the second she spotted me at baggage claim. You have _me_ to thank for whatever semblance of distance she's giving you."

Holly peeked up from the table top, "thanks."

"You're welcome," Summer smiled cheekily, "I _am _a pretty great sister. Wonder where I learned that." Summer pushed her plate aside and mirrored Holly by resting the side of her face against the wood, "I'm sorry, Hols." Summer paused before adding, "but you know I'm gonna get it out of you one way or another."

Holly blinked in agreement. "I don't really know, but I think she kinda freaked out about everything that comes next, ya know?"

She seemed to be waiting for Summer to answer so she gave in, "I'm only twenty and I've never had a serious romantic relationship, so no, not really. But I'll imagine; continue."

Holly poked her pizza crust, moving it randomly around the plate. "I don't know, a bunch of us where joking about what their bosses are gonna name their baby. I think it might have spooked her. And by spook I mean totally petrified."

Summer righted her head but rested her chin on the table, "so go tell her to stop being such a scaredy cat!" Summer grabbed Holly's hand.

"One day, when you're older, you'll realize that eventually relationships come to a point where you're either going in the same direction or you're not."

Summer lightly slapped Holly's hand, "you guys love each other so much it makes me so ill that it feels good."

"Sometimes that doesn't matter."

"Bullshit!" Summer exclaimed loudly.

"If you like," Holly lifted her head off the table and raised her hand to the sky, "needed to spend the rest of your life in a pool swimming to actually be happy, and you were like," Holly paused and burped, "in love with a hockey player, he couldn't be in the pool with you. He'd drown with all his gear on. And you couldn't run around the skating rink in your bathing suit; you'd freeze. So it doesn't matter how much you love each other. It just wouldn't work. And you can't change him and you wouldn't want to anyways. And you can't change who you are either, and he wouldn't want to you to, if he really loved you," Holly rested her head in her palm and reached for the shot glass Summer had filled up.

"That is literally the _most_ depressing thing I've _ever _heard," they both took a shot.

Holly leaned back in her chair, "yeah, well, that's adulthood for you."

"Fuck that shit, I'm a Toys R Us kid," Summer rose from her chair and stepped through the sliding glass door to fetch the ice cream from the kitchen. Holly seemed to want to stop wallowing so they spent the rest of night talking about pretty much anything and everything else. Summer told Holly about the time she had spent in Ottawa with their dad's parents but then she changed the subject when she realized that was also making Holly sad. Their family had lived in Ottawa until Holly was six. Evan was only one when they moved so he and Summer don't have any memories of their home there. Holly however looked back on that time fondly. She spent most of her days with their grandmother while their parents were working. She spent almost more time at their grandparent's house than she did at the house her parents owned there. She was still very close with them but definitely didn't get to visit as much as she used to. Throughout her schooling she had been able to spend a good portion of her breaks with them but once she started her residency that had all changed. Holly definitely missed them. When Holly finally started to doze off on the couch Summer made her brush her teeth and put her to bed. Summer clicked off the light on Holly's nightstand and was turning to the leave when Holly patted the top of the comforter next to her.

Summer's face lit up, "really Hol?" Ever since Summer had learned how to escape from her crib the first place she would always sneak off to was Holly's room. She'd jump up and down on her older sister's bed telling her it was time to get up and play. Holly usually dragged Summer down under the covers with her and forced her to let her sleep for a few more minutes. Even though she was eight by the time Holly went off to school when she was home on breaks it was still the first place Summer would go in the mornings.

"Why not? It's not like you're gonna cock block me."

Summer slid under the covers next to Holly, "wait, wouldn't you _want_ me to _cock_ block you? Like, if the situation ever arose?"

"Shut upppp," Holly tossed a pillow Summer's way.

"Anyways, Hol, I'm really sorry. I don't really have anything to compare it to, but I can only imagine what it would feel like if Ben and Jerry broke up with me."

Holly rolled away from facing the nightstand to look up at the ceiling and sighed, "you'd probably have to start eating Haagen Dazs."

"That would suck. I don't want to eat Haagen Dazs. No one has flavors like Ben and Jerry."

"Ben and Jerry do have the best flavors."

Summer turned her head to look at Holly, "do _you_ want to eat Haagen Dazs?"

"No. No, I don't," Holly admitted sadly.

* * *

Gail pushed against the table in front of her as Frank dismissed the group from parade. It was the eleventh day. "Meet you by the car in five?" Chris had been sitting next to her but he was already standing behind his chair that he had already pushed in. Gail gave him a thumbs up as acknowledgment so Chris walked briskly back to the locker room to grab his duffel. "Hey Diaz," Oliver approached Chris carefully as he double checked he had everything in his bag, "I need you to do me a solid."

Chris zipped his bag and stood up, "sure, what's up?"

Oliver placed his hand on Chris's shoulder, gearing up for his pitch, "Diaz, I've been partnered with Cross for the past four shifts. Great kid, great cop, lovely company. As you can imagine Celery and I eat pretty _healthy_ at home?" Oliver raised his eyebrows to accentuate his point. "Lunch is _my_ food time. If I have to go to one of Cross's vegan, gluten-free, fun free sandwich shops for lunch today, I will actually die. And Diaz, I might take a coupe other people out with me. Are you picking up what I'm puttin' down Diaz?"

Chris's face scrunched up, "you wanna switch with me so you can eat junk food with Gail?"

Oliver beamed and squeezed both of Chris's shoulders, "yes! Yes, I do Diaz." Oliver started backing out of the locker room, "thanks buddy, you can take 15-19," he pointed a finger at Chris, "I owe you one brother," and disappeared out the doorway.

"Peck!" Oliver caught up to Gail as she headed down the hall towards the parking lot, "you're riding with me today," he put his left arm around her shoulders and swung his bag over his right.

She looked up at him with stone cold confusion, "I am?"

"Yup, gave Cross to Diaz. I need a real meal."

"So Izzy's turning eighteen on the twenty ninth," Oliver returned his iced coffee to the cup holder.

"Does she have her tattoo picked out?" Gail kept her eyes on the road even though she wasn't driving._ Uh oh, where is he going with this?_

Oliver wagged his finger at her from the driver's seat, "ahh, she better not. I was just thinking about my first day back at work after bringing her home." Oliver looked over at Gail to check that she was listening. _Does he know? _She kept her head straight forward but looked at him from the sides of her eyes. "It was scary ya know? Because all the sudden everything that's happening to you is also happening to your baby, ya know? I mean, there was Zoe, sure. She's a though cookie though," Oliver adjusted his grip on the steering wheel, "she knew what she was getting into. Kinda. But Izzy didn't ask for that. I was still basically a rookie." Oliver looked over at Gail to make sure he still had her attention. _He knowsss. _She was awake at least and her eyes were open so he continued, "it changed me, sure. But that's bound to happen. You get used to it; sort of. But it's made me a better man, a better cop, a better friend, a better person. And things with Zoe didn't work out," Oliver sighed, "but I wouldn't change a thing," he looked over at Gail to make sure she didn't miss it, "and letting my job get in the way of that would have been the worst thing I could have done, because if there was only one thing in my life I was allowed to keep it would be my three little girls." He waited for Gail to say something but no response came. "Do you get what I'm saying Peck?" He stopped at a red light and looked across the car at her.

_God, how did he know? He always knows. Did he have Celery put a spell on me? Make it stop. _Gail turned to face him, "fine, I'll get her a gift! God, no need to be so dramatic." Oliver's mouth turned into a closed lip smiled. He knew Gail would never acknowledge what he told her beyond making a joke. It was the best outcome he could have hoped for. "So, what's her favorite kind of tequila?" Gail asked, "or is she more of a vodka and cranberry kinda of loser?"

"Ah, cash or check only, please," Oliver turned and gave her a toothy grin, "you can make the check out to 'Izzy Shaw'. That's O - L - I - V - E - R, Shaw."

* * *

_"I miss you like everyday, I said I miss you, missing you insane"  
- Beyoncé "I Miss You"_

* * *

**A/N: More of the Oliver and Gail show coming up. We're almost there guys, almost there!**

**So much love for all of you that read and review! Noelle's having her baby like, the chapter after next so if you want me to name it after you, you best get crackin' with sending me your suggestion ;)**


	25. Chapter 25: Tellin' Me to Come Back Home

**A/N: Shoutout to Gabe, I had been toying with this idea and your suggestion made me decide to go for it. Enjoy guys!**

* * *

_"Tellin' me to go and see if there was anything more, Tellin' me to come back home, as if I had another choice"_

* * *

"Two days in a row with me, Peck! Someone's a lucky duck this week!'

Gail sighed as she tossed her duffel into the trunk, "No need to call yourself an ugly duckling, Oliver," she pouted at him and shut the trunk.

"Ah yes! That's why I love riding with you, Peck." They hopped into the car.

"Don't forget, it's _your_ turn to buy _me_ lunch," Gail put her sweetest smile on display.

It was the twelfth day and Gail was pleased to get a call only a half hour after getting on the road. Stopping for coffee and doughnuts only bought so much time. She could only imagine what Oliver had planned to talk about today, and really, it was all starting to be too much. Her good mood was gone however when she learned what the call was. They arrived at the park and hopped out of the car. _Shit_. Gail couldn't help but think about how this is where Holly went running in the mornings. The sun beat down on her and her dark navy uniform quickly felt like it was about to burst into flames. A woman had reported being attacked while out for a run and Gail and Oliver went to rope off the scene and try to gather any witnesses who might have seen the attack. _Why couldn't Holly be a normally sedentary but safe person? Or treadmills? What's wrong with a good treadmill?_ The woman had surprisingly gotten herself to the hospital nearby and no one around recalled seeing the attack. Traci and Sam showed up to begin their investigation a few minutes after Gail and Oliver arrived.

"Anybody see what happened?" Sam asked the pair as he surveyed the park.

"Not a thing," Oliver shook his head and slapped his memo book on his thigh. "Most of the people here _now_ weren't around during the timeframe we were given. But they got a couple possible samples off the runner and Hamilton is over at the lab waiting on the results."

"_Hamilton?_" Traci sounded surprised and a little worried.

"He'll be fine," Oliver sounded somewhat confident, "alls he's gotta do is call us with the results."

Gail rolled her eyes, "you think he's up to that?"

Oliver turned to face Gail, "unless," he pointed a finger at her, "you'd rather hop along to the lab and take his place." A smiled played on his face. He was obviously proud of himself.

"Nope," Gail squeaked out, shaking her head.

Pretty soon the crime scene techs were swarming, taking pictures and stuffing evidence bag after evidence bag. Their days all got worse when dispatch reported a 911 call from another jogger who had just been attacked at the other far end of the park. Chris, Andy, and their rookies were all on their way.

"Peck," Oliver turned to Gail and tossed her the keys to the squad car. His voice was urgent and authoritative, "I need you to run down to the lab and babysit Hamilton."

"_What?_ Why? He just has to tell us what they say."

"If this is the same guy," Oliver made a small circular motion with his head, "which I'm willing to bet it _is_ we need any sort of DNA or record ASAP, and I _don't_ trust a rookie with that. Plus you're looking a little pink," Oliver dabbed at his nose. Gail turned on her heel and slumped back to the squad car. "Have fun," Oliver smiled big and waved goodbye to Gail, "play nice! Got your lunch money?" Gail just ignored him and got into the car.

* * *

"Um, maybe just, don't touch anything," Holly cringed as an empty test tube crashed to the floor.

"Oh _shit!"_ Hamilton's mouth dropped open. "I mean, oh _shoot_! I-uh-I'll clean it up. I'm so sorry."

"Hamilton, is that you?!" Gail called from down the hallway. _Great. He was just where she feared he would be._

"Why don't you just take a seat, I'll get it," Holly offered him a smile. Poor guy was a serious klutz. _They gave this kid a gun?_ "Just, take a seat."

Gail walked into the room to find Holly sweeping up the broken glass in one corner and Hamilton sitting on a stool in another. He was the kid who blew this kitchen up just by helping his mom mix the chocolate chip cookie dough. Everything that she had been thinking on the drive over and on the walk in was somehow completely out of her brain. _Words, Gail. Say, words. Any words._ She looked over at Hamilton, "you're just gonna let her clean up your mess?"

"Oh, uh, of course not," Hamilton rose off the stool, "uh no ma'am."

Holly looked up and smiled weakly at the pair, "it's really okay. I'm basically done." This kid looked like he was about to crap his pants.

Gail turned back to the rookie, "you can't just walk people's lives making messes and expect them to clean it up themselves.

"I know, I uh-sorry who? Who's lives?" Hamilton stuttered.

"People's _labs,_ Hamilton. What if you'd destroyed evidence?"

Hamilton's eyes went wide and he seemed to choke on his words before he finally spit out, "nothing good, ma'am. Nothing good at all, ma'am."

Gail accepted his answer because, well, it was true. "Officer Shaw wants you back at the station. We need as many people answering the tip line as possible."

He nodded, "yes ma'am. Sorry-"

Gail cut him off, "you can run and grab me lunch before you leave though," Gail forced a smile, "sandwich place across the street, I don't really care what you get me, but no-"

"Tomatoes," he nodded, "no tomatoes, ma'am."

Gail looked at him expectantly, wide eyed, trying to coax him to take the hint. He looked at her dumbly. She gently motioned with her head toward Holly, who was now back at the computer screen, taking notes.

"Oh, um, ma'am, I mean, Dr. Stewart, ma'am, can I get you anything while I'm out."

Holly didn't move her head away from the computer but looked up at him over the top of her glasses and smiled, "that's very nice of you Officer Hamilton, but I'm all set." Gail could see it was her trademark smile, but also it wasn't. It was like the knockoff version they sold out of trucks in back alleyways in New York City. She looked back at Hamilton, pierced him with her eyes and motioned for him to continue.

"Uh, really Dr. Stewart, I insist. It's the least I can do. The _Department _insists," he forced a big smile for her.

Holly didn't take her eyes off her notes, "well if the _Department insists_ you could get me their egg salad on multigrain and an iced tea."

"Super," Hamilton smiled widely and went left down the hallway.

Gail poked her head out the door and called after him, "Hamilton," she pointed to the right.

He turned, "oh, right," and power walked back the direction he came, waving shyly when he passed by the doorway. Gail watched him go, partially wanting to make sure he got out alive, but partially not ready to face being alone with Holly. When he disappeared back through the double doors at the end of the hall she turned back into the room, "so, that was Hamilton," she tried to keep it light because she was pretty sure the room was closing in on her. She couldn't handle heavy.

"So, that was Hamilton," Holly kept her eyes on the computer screen, tracking it with her eyes and taking notes as she went.

Gail felt the need to keep talking, "he's probably going to bring you tuna on white with hot coffee."

Holly chuckled softly, "I like tuna."

_Of course she does. _Gail mentally cursed Holly for being so easy going and perfect. She was almost gleeful when her phone rang. It was Oliver.

_"How's it going over there, Peck?"_

Gail groaned, "Hamilton was about ten seconds away from burning the whole place down when I got here." Gail could hear Oliver shout to Sam that he owed him five bucks. "I sent him for lunch and told him to head back to the station to take tips."

_"Great. How much longer until we know if this guy's in the system?"_

She pivoted the phone away from her mouth, "do you know how much longer until get the DNA results back?"

Holly looked up at the computer screen for a second before answering, "at least another hour, probably about an hour and half, two hours?"

"Thanks," Gail moved the phone back to her mouth, "Oliver, at least another hour, probably more like two."

Gail could hear Oliver sigh, _"okay, give Traci or Sam a call as soon as you get the results. Having fun, Peck?"_

She rolled her eyes at him even though he couldn't see, "you told me to be here." She could almost hear Oliver smile.

_"Play nice."_

"Don't think I've forgotten that it was _your_ turn to pay for lunch."

_"Miss you, bye, kisses."_ Gail was certain he had a huge smile on his face. She tried to hang up before the line went dead but he beat her to it.

After only a few more minutes of silence Hamilton showed up to drop off their lunches.

"So, how much longer until we have the results?" He asked with a smile as he placed a brown paper bag next to Holly.

"Probably ninety minutes or so," Holly answered noncommittally.

"Can you rush it?" he asked, "make the computer go faster?"

"Does this look like a Kinkos to you, Hamilton?" Gail eyed him harshly as she ripped open her bag of potato chips.

Holly forced herself not to laugh and smiled up at him, "it's really only got one gear."

"Oh, right," he smiled back awkwardly and then turned to Gail, "so I'll be off to the station, unless there's anything else you need before I go."

Gail shook her head and chomped on another chip. Hamilton skittered nervously out the door. Gail finished off her chips before moving onto the chocolate chip cookie he had gotten her. _Not a complete dunce._

"You were right."

"Huh?" Gail looked up at Holly who was still across the room at the computer.

She waved her wrapped sandwich in the air, "chicken salad on white."

Gail snorted and rummaged through her bag. She pulled out her own sandwich and pulled apart the masking tape that was holding down the deli paper. "BLT, no 'T', with turkey and avocado on multigrain. Trade you?"

Holly looked up at her notes, "it's okay, I don't mind."

"You hate white bread," Gail folded the wrapping back up and trust it out in front of her in Holly's general direction. Holly shrugged. "It's got avocado," Gail made a circular motion with her wrist holding the sandwich. Holly didn't look up from her notes but Gail could see her smile so she hopped off her stool and snatched Holly's sandwich off the table and then replaced it with her own. Gail took a bite of the chicken salad as she returned to the stool, "mmmm, bleached flour; my favorite." Holly shook her head form her desk. "What? It is? It's why I have such porcelain skin."

An hour later the computer spit out the results. A name. A repeat offender. Gail called Sam. She didn't want to deal with Oliver or Traci's sass. Holly handed her the report to take back to the station. Gail couldn't take it anymore; the silence was too loud. If she didn't say _something_ all the words she had been keeping in for the past two weeks would spill out. They zoomed by so quickly that she didn't even know what they all were. So she said _something_. "How do you do it?"

A crooked smiled played it's way across Holly's face, "well the computer does most of the work, really-"

"That's not I meant, nerd," Gail rolled her eyes, "how are you so cool and calm and collected when I've completely sweated through my uniform and been one breath away from puking for the past two hours." And then the smile was gone, Holly's expression went blank.

"Maybe I just have better deodorant than you."

Gail's heart caught in her throat, "Holly, I am _so _sorry," her eyes pleaded for understanding.

"I know," Holly offered up a closed lip smile.

Gail looked down at the floor and shuffled her feat before looking back up at Holly, "I've always loved you."

"Gail," Holly warned, closing her eyes, and placing her hand on the workbench to her right.

"I should get this back," Gail shook the folder that was in her hand and turned on her heels to head to the door before Holly could see her cry. She stopped herself with a hand on the door frame. "Holly?" Gail turned back and Holly looked up at her. "No running until we catch this guy, okay?" Holly nodded and then Gail was gone.

* * *

Gail and Traci watched from the booth as Dov and Chris weaved through the crowd to the dart board. "Five bucks says Dov hits Chris instead of the board by the end of the game," Gail took another sip of her drink but kept her head propped up on her palm. It was the thirteenth night.

"Gail," Traci slappped her hand down on the table in front of Gail, drawing her attention back into the booth, "you've gotta stop doing this."

"I like making stupid bets against my friends. It's fun," Gail took another sip as Traci stared her down; unamused. 'What?"

"I'm totally taking that bet by the way but that's _not_ what I'm talking about and you _know it._"

"Misery is kinda my thing right now, and I can't really do anything about it," Gail narrowed her eyes and took another sip.

Traci wasn't buying it, "actually Gail, you can." Traci rounded the table and hip checked Gail farther down the booth. _Trapped, oh shit. _"You love Holly, that's a given, and she loves you," Traci's voice was high and singsongy. "So you need to figure out what you want. Even if you're scared of it, especially if you're scared that you want it." Her voice got calmer and more motherly, "it's _okay_ to want things Gail. That's what life's all about. I _loved_ Jerry, and I lost him. I _still _love Jerry. But he wouldn't have wanted me to wallow forever, especially since my life has barely just _started_. He wouldn't have wanted you to wallow or punish yourself, either." _Shit_._ There it was; the Jerry Card_. All the sadness, melancholy, doubt, and longing Gail had been feeling for the past couple weeks instantly transformed into shame. She had lived because someone else hadn't, and now she was fucking it up. Fucking up her life, fucking up Holly's life. She was hiding. But Traci wasn't done yet, "you need to figure out what you really want. What you would want if you weren't scared or worried that it won't end up the way you want. Failing really won't be worse than not trying. I failed with Dex, and Jerry and I failed in the worse possible way, but if I could go back I'd do it again. I wouldn't _not try_. That would be worse than anything I've ever felt." Finished with her speech Traci took a long sip of her wine. Gail couldn't hold the tears in any longer so she threw her head down dramatically onto her arm resting on the table.

"I'll get you another," Traci excused herself to give Gail a moment alone. Public sober crying probably wasn't high on Gail's list of things she wanted to be doing. When she returned Gail was leaning dramatically up against the back of the booth, her head turned up; facing the ceiling. Traci sat across from Gail and slid the drink her way. She had said her piece and Gail could run away now if she wanted to. Gail held her glass with two hands and stared into it. She asked Traci, "what if...after everything...I decide that is was I want...and she won't take me back? I ruined everything. Per usual," Gail didn't look up, afraid that facing Traci might mean facing a horrible reality.

"Gail," Traci's sassy voice was back, "did you really not listen to anything I just said? Not trying will be worse. One step at a time, you're tripping yourself up."

* * *

_"Tellin' me to go and see if there was anything more, Tellin' me to come back home, as if I had another choice"  
- Donovan Woods "Put On, Cologne"  
_

* * *

**A/N: I _love_ hearing what you guys think about this! It's complicated right? But that's kinda the point...keep 'em coming!  
Who's ready to meet Froelle's baby? That's not all that's happening next chapter though...**


	26. Chapter 26: I Was Gonna Go Back Home

_"Deeply in my core tellin' me to go and see if there was anything more, I was gonna go back home, I was gonna go back home, I was gonna go back home,"_

* * *

On the fifteenth day Holly sent the final draft of her article in. Her brother called her up and said he was taking her out for drinks to celebrate. She told him she didn't want to jinx it; they could go out when, no, _if_, it was actually published. Nonsense he said, the work she had put into it deserved to be celebrated even if they didn't publish it right away; she deserved it. He was taking her out. Evan asked about the article and made her promise she'd sign a copy for him. He told her all about his summer internship at the Crown Attorney's Office. He worked long hours but he really liked the work. Their mom was in the same building, bummer sometimes, but she took him out to lunch every once in a while. Holly enjoyed catching up with Evan, but she didn't feel much like celebrating. He got her a little drunk none the less.

* * *

"What do you think about milkshakes for lunch, Peck?" Noelle had her feet propped up on the chair from the desk between them.

"I think yessss," Gail finished the report she had been typing and smacked 'print'. It was the sixteenth day.

"I'll call," Noelle removed her feet from the chair and planted them on the ground before easing herself up. The delivery menus were in the kitchen. She hissed and planted her hand on her back when she came to standing.

Gail looked up at her skeptically, "are you okay?" This made her nervous.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Noelle waved her off and headed to the kitchen. Gail moved on to her next report and began typing away. "Peck," Noelle was back, standing behind Gail.

Gail continued working on her report, "uh, chocolate for me. A _large_. Wanna get those curly fries they have?"

"Peck."

"Fine, fine, just regular fries I guess. Onion rings?"

"Peck!" Noelle hissed urgently.

Gail spun around in her chair to face Noelle, "you don't _have_ to eat them."

"Shut up," Noelle rolled her eyes and sighed loudly. She leaned down and whispered, "my water just _broke_ and _you_ need to take me to the hospital. _Now._"

"Shit!" Gail leapt up from her chair and reached for her phone on the desk, "I'll call Frank."

"No!" Noelle clenched her eyes shut, "he's giving that presentation at HQ today. Just, let's go, _now_."

"Okay, okay," Gail ran to get keys to a squad car.

Gail flipped on the lights and sirens as she pulled out of the parking lot. She adjusted her grip on the steering wheel nervously. This was _seriously_ not how she had expected to be spending her afternoon. Definitely not. She just wanted a _milkshake_.

* * *

"Are you _sure_ you don't want me to call Frank?" Gail paced awkwardly around Noelle's hospital room.

"_Don't call Frank_," Noelle adjusted the pillows behind her, "he's not speaking until four. I don't want him to cut out before. I probably won't even have the baby until after that anyways."

"Famous last words," Gail snickered.

And boy, was Gail right. Hannah Abigail Best was born at 4:06 P.M. weighing in at eight pounds, seven ounces. As a nurse handed her off to Noelle, Gail left her bedside to inquire about a bag of ice for her hand. "Hey Peck," Noelle called softly, "you don't want to miss this."

Gail turned around and cautiously approached the mother and daughter. The newborn was all bundled up, just hanging out, looking around.

"She's cuter cleaned up," Gail remarked. Noelle rolled her eyes.

"You wanna hold her?" Noelle smiled, raising the swaddled baby a little. Gail bit her lip in trepidation. "Put your hands out," Noelle commanded softly, "you deserve it. She hasn't even pooped yet."

Gail stretched out her arms to accept the infant, "I guess I better hold her before I have them cut off my right hand."

"It was worse for me than it was for you," Noelle wasn't joking. She reached for the phone to call Frank while Gail bounced around with the baby. She wasn't crying, which honestly surprised Gail. Her eyes were wide, looking up at Gail and the new world around her. Her eyes said '_who are _you_? _What_ are you? Where am I?'_ They were wondrous. She seemed to get tired of wondering and let her eyes close lazily. Gail felt a hand on her left shoulder blade. She looked to her left and the nurse from before was smiling up at her. Gail couldn't help but think how _short _that woman was.

"I said, we need to take her over to the nursery for her check up now," the woman reached for the infant gently.

"Oh, yeah. Sure," Gail passed her over carefully, trying not to jostle the now sleeping baby. _Don't babies never sleep?_ Gail turned to face Noelle, "I'm gonna grab some ice," she pointed over her shoulder towards the door with her thumb, "I'll be right back. Are you good here?" Gail motioned around the air in front of her waist with her palms, "can I get you anything?"

Noelle dropped her head back onto the pillow, "yeah, you can tell my MIA husband who won't answer his phone to pick his daughter up at daycare and get his ass over here."

Gail shot Noelle a double thumbs up and a huge grin, "you got it," and slowly backed out of the room. As soon as she turned the corner into the hall Gail whipped out her phone, tapped away at the screen, and put it to her ear. No answer. She called again.

"Gail?" her mom picked up on the fourth ring and sounded overly chipper but her tone quickly changed to concern, "I'm kind of busy right now. Is everything okay?" Gail _never _called her mom.

"Yeah, mom, everything's fine. Noelle just had her baby and she didn't want to call Frank before his presentation and his phone must still be on silent or something. Is he still there?"

"I'll track him down dear," Gail could hear a crowd in the background.

"And you need to tell him he has to pick Olivia up at daycare."

"Okie dokie," Elaine's voice was high and chipper. Gail wanted to get off the phone ASAP.

"Thanks, mom, talk to you later," Gail kept her eyes peeled for a nurse or ice machine.

"Is that all, Gail?" Her voice suggested something but Gail ignored it.

"Yup, thanks mom," Gail squeaked out.

"Alrighty then. I'll track Frankie down. Bye dear."

"Bye mom," Gail hung up as soon as she could. She spun around, spotting the nurses desk and beelined for it. The nurse behind the desk told her to wait a minute and she'd be back with some ice. Gail turned around and leaned her back against the desk. She hadn't noticed before, but the desk was right across from the nursery. She took a few steps forward and splayed her arms wide onto the thick wooden railing in front of the window. There must have been been fifteen babies in there, each in their own bassinet. Gail spotted Hannah towards the back. She was between a 'Jeremy' and a 'Natalie.' There was a 'Richard' below her. _Who names their kid, 'Dick'?_ This kid can't be more than a few days old and he's got the name of a 47 year old.

"Which one is your's?" Gaill looked down and to her right. A little boy, no older than seven, had snuck up next to her. He was wearing a deep green polo, and khaki shorts that he reached down to pull up higher on his waist. He had deep, dark hair with a bowl cut. _Who gives their kid a bowl cut anymore?_ Steve had a bowl cut once, Gail almost laughed out loud at the memory of him.

"Oh, um, none of them are mine."

The boy got on his tip toes to look over the railing, "is one of them in trouble?"

_What?_ Gail looked back into the room and then back down at the boy. That's when she noticed her shoes; her _duty_ shoes. She was still in uniform. "_Oh_. No, none of them are in trouble. How could they be?" She asked him with a smile.

"I don't know," he shrugged while still holding onto the railing.

"I'm just here for a friend," hopefully that would placate him.

"Cool," he chirped. "That's my little sister." He pointed at the glass but it was impossible for Gail to tell which bassinet he was referring to.

"Which one?" She asked.

"In the front," he answered matter-of-factly, "Sarah."

"Cute," Gail could see the same dark hair peeking out where her hat had started to ride up at the side.

"I got to help pick out her name," he reported proudly. _Wow, that could have gone terribly wrong_. Gail was pretty sure that if Steve had had any say she would have been named 'Poo Poo Peck.'

"Alex!" Gail turned around and saw a man toting a three or four year old approach the boy. "I told you to wait with me for the next elevator." _Nice work, kid._ Gail couldn't help but smile a little. "I'm so sorry, Officer. What kind of trouble did he get into?" _Damn_. This guy was a mess. His hair was poking out every which way and he clearly hadn't shaved in a couple days, and not in the cool stubble kind of way.

"Oh, no," Gail shook her head, "he's totally fine, I'm just waiting for the nurse. We were just shootin' the breeze." The man sighed in relief and, as if on cue, the nurse appeared with a bag of ice.

"Here you go, Officer," she smiled and Gail said her thanks and excused herself to go back and find Noelle.

* * *

It wasn't long before people started to trickle in. Frank arrived with Olivia just after Noelle's sister came along. Celery showed up shortly before Oliver did, and Traci, Sam, Andy, Dov, Chris, Chloe and Nick weren't close behind. Gail couldn't help but think back to their wedding. Weddings were _so_ fake. Such a show put on for other people who were more concerned with their date and their dress. But this actually seemed _real_. Everyone seemed actually _happy_ for them. Everyone wanted to hold the baby and look at her and make stupid faces. Everyone laughed with glee when her little hand grabbed their sausage fingers. _Losers, I held her first_. Gail could tell this was a little bittersweet for Chris but he laughed when Dov make Hannah cry. Olivia, even though she was only two, was so proud of herself. Everyone was so authentically happy. And then all the sudden it was too much, she had to leave. Everyone was _really truly _happy. That is, everyone but Gail. She had to go. She had to get out of there. She nudged Chris and told him she had to go.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, I gotta get the squad car back though."

"Oh, okay," Chris nodded his understanding, "do you need a ride from the station?"

"Nah, I drove in today. But can you give Dov a ride? Or make sure he has one with Chloe?"

"Yeah, sure," Chris smiled and nodded. Gail checked her watch and slipped out of Noelle's room; down the hall, into the elevator. Out of the elevator and into the lobby. Out of the lobby and into the parking lot. Out of of the early evening sun and into the car. Out of the parking lot and onto the road. Off the road and into the parking lot. Out of the car and onto the pavement. Gail swallowed hard and steeled herself as she yanked the heavy glass door open. She kept her eyes open and her brain shut as she weaved through the lobby and down to the labs. Her paced slowed as she got closer. Gail kept her head straight ahead, but strained her eyes to the left to eye the lab as she reached the glass wall before the doorway. She turned sharply as she reached the door, but still couldn't see the brunette. _Weird_. Gail tried the door. It was locked. _Weird_. She scoped out the other labs in the hall but to no avail. She checked her watch again. It was only 5:45. Holly _never_ left work before six. Gail turned around and headed back toward Holly's office. It was dark and locked. _Weird_. Gail decided to make a quick escape back to the squad car. She slid into the seat and zoomed out of the parking lot. She screeched to a halt in front of the flower shop four blocks away. They close at 6:00 but it was only 5:54. Gail stormed in and looked around the shop like a small child who'd lost her mother. She never really liked flowers; a lot of them just made her eyes puff up, and sneeze a lot. She grabbed the biggest bunch she saw. They were bright and summery; happy like Holly, but deep and earthy too. She hustled back to the car and gently placed the flowers in the passenger seat. She made it to Holly's in record time. It was 6:18. That was _so _not legal. Gail stepped out of the cruiser and walked with purpose up the walkway and through the lobby. Into the elevator; up, up, up; out into the hallway, past Globetrotter's door, across from Rich McHotty's, two heavy knocks. Gail could hear heavy footsteps coming her way. She heard the deadbolt click out of it's slot. She heard the handle turn. She heard the door open. She saw Holly.

* * *

_"Deeply in my core tellin' me to go and see if there was anything more, I was gonna go back home, I was gonna go back home, I was gonna go back home,"  
__- Donovan Woods "Put On, Cologne"_

* * *

**A/N: Phew.  
****So, what's next I wonder...what do you guys thing?  
I've written these few chapters out of order so you should have to wait _too_ long for the next one to be up :)**


	27. Chapter 27: Breaking the Law for You

**A/N: Hey guys! I uploaded chapter 26 less than 24 hours ago so if you haven't met the newest member of the Best-Williams family go back a chapter :)**

* * *

_"Ignore the alarms, Ignore the police, I'll never stop breaking the law for you."_

* * *

"Gail," Holly was surprised but quiet, it was almost a question she was trying to mask.

_Shit_. Everything she had been thinking over the past few weeks, days, hours, and minutes was gone. "Holly, hey," Gail said it almost as if Holly was standing outside _her_ door. Or maybe it was her surprise that Holly even answered the door. Maybe her belief that Holly would still be at work was just so strong.

"Hi," Holly wasn't really sure where this was going; she'd let Gail take the lead.

"Hey," _wow._ The lack of social skills Gail was exhibiting in this four line conversation was shocking even to her. She needed to pick it up, and _fast._

Maybe Holly would have to nudge her a little bit, "you said that already."

Gail rolled her eyes at herself, "ya know, it sounded familiar." She cursed herself, _what a dunce. _She knew she needed to say something, preferably not just anything, but _something_. So she started talking, "Noelle had her baby today. It's a girl," Holly smiled a little at the news and Gail looked her in the eyes. She deserved that. You look someone in the eyes when you apologize, right? That was the hardest part; Gail hated apologizing and she hated saying what she was feeling. It was easier with Holly, but she'd still rather _show _without _telling_. But showing wouldn't be enough now. Gail had to tell. And Holly deserved that. Even if Holly told her to take a hike and to never come back. "Her name's Hannah Abigail. Noelle almost ripped my hand off. Frank was in a meeting and I had to take her to the hospital. And I stayed." Gail could feel the soreness in her hand as she clutched the flowers. "It was pretty nasty. I got to hold her though. Before anyone else. Well, after the nurse, and Noelle, and the other nurse. But then I got to hold her." Gail could see Holly's smile starting to return, "I know what you're thinking and, _no_, I didn't drop her. And then everyone was there and everyone was laughing and they were being so _happy_, like actually _happy_. And it was _killing_ me because I wasn't. I wasn't because you weren't there. Because you haven't been there; here. And that's my fault." Gail looked away, ashamed for what she was about to say, "I've been trying to call you for, like, the past four days. I've been trying to come over here but I just never knew what I could say. But I just couldn't take it anymore." Her eyes snapped back up to Holly; this was the important part, "mostly because I was scared of everything I've realized I wanted. I thought I was doing the best thing for you, because I didn't think I could give you everything you want; everything you deserve. I thought walking away was the right thing to do. But now, I know that I'd rather be scared with you than miserable or ordinary alone. I _want_ you to have _everything_ you've ever wanted, and I want to _give_ you everything you've ever wanted, and I will. I will. And that scares me. It scares me to death. But I'm not scared of being scared anymore; so long as I'm with you. And we can have a baby if you want. Well, we'd have to have two because only children are _weird_. You're weird but you're a good weird. And you can get a minivan if you want; but I refuse to drive it. I'm allergic to dogs so we'd have to get one with fur, not hair." She was rambling now but she couldn't stop it, "or a cat, we could get a cat. But I'm never giving up my video games. You're who I want to tell about-about anything, about everything. Chloe hit a mailbox in the squad car last week, but it wasn't funny because I couldn't laugh with you. Holly, I'm sorry. I thought I was protecting you. I'm _so, so_ sorry. But I love you. That's all I want to do; love you. I'm staying. For good." Gail finally took a breath. Holly was standing with her mouth slightly agape. "These are for you," Gail looked down at the flowers, all of the sudden anxious about her purchase, "I have no clue what they mean but I got them for you because they're bright and happy and hopeful like you, but they're also earthy, and real. Just like you. You're authentic." Gail looked back up at Holly. _God, _her expression was so hard to read. It was everything; it was joy, it was sadness, it was relief, it was pain, it was hope, it was sorrow, and it was something else entirely.

"Gail I-" Holly started.

But Gail stopped her. "No. It's okay. You don't have to say anything. You can take-"

"No it's just-" but Holly stopped when they both heard the toilet flush and her brother emerged from her bedroom, effortlessly toting a carry-on suitcase, "Hol is this all?" He looked up and noticed the situation he had walked into, "oh, hey Gail," he smiled at her awkwardly and then turned his attention to Holly. "I printed the tickets," he flapped a couple pieces of paper in his left hand, "we should probably get going. Don't wanna miss our flight."

"Yeah," Holly nodded her agreement, clearly thrown off by the situation she found herself in.

He strode through the room with the tickets and suitcase. He paused beside Holly, "meet you at the car?"

"Uh, Yeah," she brushed her glasses back up the bridge of her nose. God, Gail loved it when she did that, "I'll be down in just a minute," she forced a smile for him and he shot one back that said 'I love you,' and 'it'll be okay.' He nodded and smiled at Gail as he walked past and out into the hall.

Gail looked back to Holly, "where are you going?" She looked almost hurt, but mostly surprised.

"Ottawa," Holly sighed, "my grandmother had a stroke this morning. Ev and I are flying out there. My parents and Summer drove out late this morning but we had to finish up work. I was in court today and he had had a bunch of stuff he needed to finish up," her words trailed off at the end. Holly was putting on the bravest face you've ever seen. Even if you knew her well you might be fooled.

"Is she okay?" Gail's voice was laced with concern, sadness, and surprise.

"Yeah, I mean, no. I don't know, we'll see."

"Are _you_ okay?" Gail wasn't buying it.

"Yeah, I'll be fine," Holly adjusted the bag which Gail just noticed was resting on her shoulder. She finally noticed Holly was wearing her shoes, and Holly never wore her shoes inside.

"Do-" Gail looked around, she was bad at this kind of stuff, "do you want me to go _with you?_"

"No, no," Holly brushed if off like it was nothing, "you have work, and well, we're-uh-no, it's okay, I'll be fine."

"I have the next two days off, but okay," Gail wasn't really good at this stuff even under normal circumstances. "At least let me drive you to the airport. I can get you there in half the time," Gail forced a smile for Holly's sake.

"You don't have to," Holly started rummaging in her bag, checking that she had her keys and wallet, "we're just going to Billy Bishop. It's super close."

"I know I don't _have _to. I _want _to. Plus, you're not parking at Billy Bishop, that's such a rip. Just let me drive you," Gail reached for Holly's hand and dragged her out of the apartment. She didn't let go as Holly locked her door. She didn't let go as they waited for the elevator. She didn't let go as they rode the elevator down. Gail's heart was beating hard and her mind was racing a mile a minute. Holly hadn't let go either, and she was feeling a little braver, so Gail circled one of Holly's knuckles with her thumb and gave her hand a light squeeze. And Holly squeezed back. But then the elevator dinged, the door opened, and Holly let go and walked out.

Gail and Holly were mostly quiet for the ten minute ride. Evan was a good guy, a good brother, and he yammered on about a "really cool" case he was working on. It was the reason he had to stay the rest of the day at work. Gail dropped them off and told Holly to call her if she needed anything. Holly smiled weakly and nodded and the siblings rushed off to catch their flight. Gail drove back to the precinct and slowly changed out of her uniform. What was her hurry? She had no where to be. She gathered her things and finally chanced a look at her phone. One text from Chris forty minutes ago:

_"At the Penny with Dov, Chloe & Shawlery! Come join when you're done at the station"_

Gail could use a drink right about now.

* * *

She grabbed a drink from the bar and made her way over to the table. It was a Tuesday and the crowd was pretty thin. Gail put her drink down, sat in the empty seat Chris had saved for her and then threw her head down onto her arms.

"Ah look! It's our very own midwife, Gail Peck!" Oliver raised his glass in a mock toast. Gail didn't raise her head but reached up and smacked him on the head.

Chris looked down at his watch. It was almost 7:30, "Gail, where you been? You left the hospital almost _two hours_ ago." She kept her head down on the table, her hair a curtain around her face and mumbled a response. "_What?"_ Chris couldn't make out a thing she said. Some more mumbling. Chris leaned down closer to her, "sorry, _what?_"

Gail shot her head up and snapped, "I went to Holly's," and then plopped her head right back down again. Chris's mouth formed an "O" and his eyes went wide. The side conversations Dov, Chloe, Celery, and Oliver had been engaging in stopped immediately. Everyone froze. Even Chloe was at a loss for words. Chris was the first to speak, "just now?"

Gail didn't pick her head up but her words were completely clear, "no, I used my tricked out DeLorean to travel back in time. _Yes,_ just now, _Diaz_."

Heads around the table swiveled, then hands reached into wallets, and money started to be exchanged every which way. Celery rolled her eyes.

"How'd it go?" Oliver gave Gail a slight nudge with his elbow.

The blonde lump responded, "I don't even _know_."

"What do you mean?" Chris asked eagerly, leaning in closer. Dov just sat with his forearms on the edge of the table. Celery didn't even look surprised really. Chloe took another sip of her drink.

Gail finally lifted her head off the table, "I _mean_ she was running to catch a flight to Ottawa with her brother because their _grandmother_ had a _stroke_ this morning. So _really_ I don't even know. I drove them to the airport."

Another shock all around the table.

"Well, ya gotta go," Oliver smiled but didn't show any teeth, "you gotta go to Ottawa," he looked Gail in the eye and took a sip of his beer.

"She told me _not to_," Gail sounded confused and sad.

"Don't go," Dov shook his head and moved his hands back and forth in front of him as a gesture to stop. "Family members you haven't met, being sick, maybe dying, you don't really know if you're together or not; you don't want to get involved in that. I would know," he took another sip of his beer.

Chloe looked over at Dov, "shut up," she looked back at Gail, "you should totally go; it's romantic."

"In which universe is _death_ romantic?" Gail snarked.

"You should call her, like now," Chris added with a big smile.

Oliver raised his hands above his head, "I'm tellin' ya, you need to go to Ottawa," he shook his head in disbelief that no one was listening to him. Celery nodded along.

Gail's chin was resting on her palm that was propped up by her forearm. She turned her head to look at him, "no offense Oliver, but seeing as your _ex_-wife _left you_, like twice? I'm a little wary to take your advice." Gail turned to look Celery in the eyes, "can you put a spell on her? No, put a spell on me, make me a good person." Celery just laughed.

"Au contraire, Peck. I was married for over fifteen years, don't you think I learned how to grovel?"

She smiled and her eyes sparkled at him. She pointed a finger his way, "point taken. Do tell, do tell."

"Just go. She'll want you there," he wagged a finger at Chris, "but do what he said. Call her."

Gail looked at her watch and pouted, "her flight took off like ten minutes ago. She's not even going to pick up."

"Perfect!" Dov clapped his hands together, "you can plan out what you want to say, and say your piece without having to worry about having an actual conversation, or getting shut down, or hung up on. _But_ you get points for _calling_ instead of sending a text."

"Brilliant!" Chris smacked Dov on the back.

Oliver wagged his finger at Dov and smiled, "Epstein, have you been married?" Everyone laughed at Oliver's comment.

Gail finished the last bit of her drink and stood up, "night losers."

"Wait! Where are you going?" Dov looked up with concern etched all over his face. He made a lame motion with his hands.

"I'm not going to call her in the middle of a bar with you stooges hanging on every word like some fifteen year old boy with suspenders and headgear." She ruffled Dov's hair as she walked past him.

"Gail," Chris leaned back in his chair and bowed his back and neck so that they looked upside down to each other. He smiled up at her, "you already are a good person." She chuckled and pushed his head away from her so that he was sitting upright again, "make sure Dov doesn't have to hitch home, he wouldn't survive."

"So, who won the big official pool anyways?" Dov turned to Oliver after the door to the outside swung closed behind Gail.

"It was _actually_ a three way tie," Oliver reported with a raise of his eyebrows.

Dov and Chris looked at each other and then back at Oliver, "so who was it?" Chris demanded curiously.

Oliver smiled a wicked, wicked grin, "Detective, Staff Inspector, and Superintendent Peck." He threw a couple notes down on the table as he and Celery stood up to leave. "Night boys," he smiled at Chloe, "Officer Price," and left three dazed off-duty officers in his wake.

* * *

When Gail got home she locked herself her in her room and called Holly. Just as she suspected it went straight to voicemail. Dov was right, she said what she wanted to say and then hung up. Easy peasy. If only she could communicate with criminals via voicemail. She sat on the edge of her bed for a while after she'd hung up without moving. The front door unlocking and then opening snapped her out of her daze and she quickly got ready for bed. For the first time in weeks Gail slept soundly and for more than five or six hours. She didn't even dream. It was close to nine o'clock by the time she woke up; she'd slept for nearly twelve hours. She rolled over and grabbed her phone off the night stand. Two missed calls and one voicemail. They were close to three hours old. They were from Holly.

* * *

_"Ignore the alarms, Ignore the police, I'll never stop breaking the law for you."_  
_- Emeli Sandé "Breaking the Law"_

* * *

**A/N: Poor Gram :(  
What's Gail gonna do? How are the Pecks going to spend their winnings? Shawlery anyone? Yay? Ney? Sound off in the reviews!**

**P.S. Gabe - so glad you liked the Gail and Holly at the lab scene! I was super nervous about it (kinda like Gail?)**


	28. Chapter 28: Full of Mourning

**A/N: The took me way longer than I thought :( Sorry guys!**

* * *

_"Her eyes full of hope, her voice full of mourning, and lips as red as a shepherd's warning. She said 'I, I would die for you.'"_

* * *

_It was close to nine o'clock by the time she woke up; she'd slept for nearly twelve hours. She rolled over and grabbed her phone off the night stand. Two missed calls and one voicemail. They were close to three hours old. They were from Holly._

Honest to god, Gail wished she had her gun on her. The flight wasn't even an hour long but so far she had spent the _entire_ time being unpleasantly jostled as the back of her chair was kicked repeatedly. She should _only_ have fifteen minutes left. Now she knew why her mom _always_ flew first class. However, that wasn't really an option when you bought a ticket two hours before take off. Did this plane even _have_ a first class? Gail peeked up the aisle; that would be a _negative_. She had always been fond of flying. She thought she loved flying. Gail was realizing however, that she loved flying _first class._ They weren't even serving any alcohol. Granted, it was only 11:55 on a Wednesday, but whatever, these business people _totally_ wanted to get wasted. Gail really hated her uniform sometimes. She was probably about one drop of bleach away from being allergic to the fabric. It was too hot on warm days and not warm enough during the winter. The boots were heavy and the hats were dorky. All that said, Gail would have given _anything_ to be wearing her uniform and duty belt right now. She would rise from her seat, slowly turn around, and stare at the small buggery child and his guardian until they had both shit their pants. She would then smile kindly and return to her seat, guaranteed not to be disturbed for the rest of the flight. She should have brought a flask. _Sweet_, they just turned on the seatbelt sign. The end was in sight. Isn't your job as a parent to raise your kid to be someone the rest of society doesn't want to murder? Gail concluded the person in 18B was failing hard.

* * *

Gail scanned the terminal lobby as she descended the escalator. It was pretty sparse; it was the middle of a weekday. Gail's eyes fell on a tall brunette holding two Starbucks Trienta cups. Thirsty much?

"Where's Holly?" Gail adjusted the bag on her shoulder.

"Ditched her," Summer shrugged nonchalantly and trust one of drinks towards Gail, "iced latte?"

"Sure," Gail eyed the drink suspiciously and followed Holly's younger sister out the doors. It dawned on her that this was the closest thing to food she'd had all day. Summer walked towards a car with it's hazards on, parked in the pick up line. Gail recognized the slate colored Acura from Holly's parents' driveway. "I don't really think you're allowed to park here," Gail looked around for security.

Summer pointed the electronic key at the car and the trunk popped open, "they won't tow me," she pointed to the special government license plate and the courthouse parking decal.

"Nice," Gail threw her carry-on into the trunk. "But actually, where's Holly?"

"Like I said," Summer opened the driver door and slid into the black leather seat; it burned a little, "I ditched her. I asked her if I could come and she said no." Summer turned the ignition and joined the stream of traffic. Gail could barely hear the car running, it was definitely a hybrid. Of _course_ it was. Holly's family was pretty near perfect. "So I took the keys while she was in the bathroom. I needed to get _out_ of there."

"Well thanks for picking me up instead of heading straight to a bar," Gail took another sip of the latte. This cup was _huge_ but she was hungry so she kept drinking.

"No, thank _you_," Summer took another sip of her drink before returning it to the cup holder, "mom and dad; and Holly; well even Ev are like, good at that kind of stuff. I can't stand it there. I mean, dad and Hol are doctors. Holly like cuts dead people open for a living for christ sakes. It's too _sad_. Not really my thing." The trees were zipping by on the seemingly country road they were on. Gail chanced a look over at the speedometer. Well on the bright side, when Summer made fun of Holly for driving slowly she put her money where her mouth was. However, if she was pulled over she would definitely have to pay a _pretty_ hefty fine. Thankfully the airport access road merged with the highway and Summer slowed down considerably now that there were more than a couple other cars on the road.

"So, how is your grandma doing?" Gail didn't really want to push it with Summer but she did want to have a general idea of what she was going to be walking into. Holly's message had been mostly incomprehensible but Gail had been able to make out a labored 'can you come?'

"Bad," Summer flicked her blinker on and looked left before she switched lanes, "I think we're basically just waiting until my uncle get's back from China."

"China?" Gail was curious.

"Yeah, I guess he was doing some big business thing over there for like a week so my aunt and cousins went along, and they stayed and travelled around for a while after. They've been over there for a few weeks now I think. They left a couple days after I got to Ottawa to visit gram and gramp."

"Wow," Gail's parents had taken her to Europe a bunch of times, but she had never been to Asia.

"Yeah, sounds like they were having a really cool time," Summer sighed, "but they couldn't get back until like tomorrow afternoon. It's like a twenty hour flight or something crazy? How was your's?" Summer glanced over at Gail for a second.

"Meh, pretty sure I was sitting in front of the next David Beckham. Could have been worse though I guess." They turned onto another highway and were now driving along next to the river. Gail couldn't help but think that it was kind of pretty.

"That's the worst," Summer rolled her eyes, "fuckin' kids. Actually, one time we were all on our way to France and they went around serving breakfast. Anyways this kid in front of me like turned around in his seat making faces at me, cool, fine, whatever. Then he drops this giant drool bomb and it _nails_ my croissant."

"That's disgusting," Gail loves croissants.

"Yeah, it was gross. But luckily Holly was in the bathroom so I just traded with her," Summer smiled to herself.

"Did she _eat_ it?" Gail was horrified.

"Nah, Ev ratted me out when she got back but I'd already finished mine," Summer smiled to herself about a job well done. They turned onto a more residential road and then turned into the hospital complex. Gail started drumming her fingers on the top of the coffee cup. Actually, it was more like a jug. She looked down at it and realized she had drunk most of the liquid. Barely any of the coffee remained; there was mostly ice left. Gail could practically feel her stomach being eaten away. Summer pulled into a spot on the bottom level of the garage. She turned the car off and unbuckled her seatbelt but didn't move to get out the car. Instead, she reached for her phone and tapped away at it for a minute before finally looking up, "Hol and mom took Gramp Ed to the cafeteria to get some lunch, they're probably still there," she grabbed her coffee before opening the door and jumping out. Summer said 'Gramp Ed' like it was one word; there had to be a story behind that. The hot summer air was a stark contrast to the cool air conditioning of the car. Gail followed Summer down through the main entrance and down the hall. The inside of the hospital was much cooler than the outside air; almost too cool. Gail could see the cafeteria at the end of the hall. She was pretty sure her hands were gushing sweat and she could hear her heartbeat in her ears. She was broken out of her trance when Summer gently swatted her arm and said, "gotta pee first," as she ducked into the restroom. _Super, completely on my own now_. Gail started walking faster towards the cafeteria and continued the pace as she scanned the room for Holly; headed towards nowhere. Then Gail saw her at the far left end of the room. She was just turning away from a table with a tray of cups and wrappers. Her back was to Gail as she walked a few steps to the trashcan and slid the tray's contents into the flap and then placed it atop the wooden receptacle. Without even thinking Gail was walking towards her even faster now. Actually, she wasn't walking anymore. Gail was doing that socially awkward half jog half speed walk thing that she _never_ did. Only losers did that. Holly had turned back towards the table when she saw Gail doing what could only be described as a mix of jogging, walking, and tripping over cafeteria chairs. And now she was only a couple yards away and she slowed to a walk. How was she supposed to _greet_ Holly? Gail wasn't a hugger, but Holly was. But did Holly want a hug from _her_. She hovered a few feet away, "hey, I came as soon as I could-" Holly had pulled her into a tight hug. Holly squeaked out a "hey" as her hands hooked under Gail's arms and came to rest at the back of her shoulders.

"Hey," Gail instinctively reached round the top of Holly's back and pulled her in closer as Holly choked out, "I'm really glad that you're here."

Holly slowly pulled away and turned to her mom and grandfather who had stood up from the table, preparing to leave; "Gramp Ed, this is Gail. Gail, this is my grandpa, Dr. Edmund Stewart."

He offered his hand out to Gail who took it, "Ed," he corrected Holly, "it's a pleasure."

* * *

_"Her eyes full of hope, her voice full of mourning, and lips as red as a shepherd's warning. She said 'I, I would die for you.'"_  
-_ Matt Walters "I Would Die For You"  
_


	29. Chapter 29: It All Came True

**A/N: Posting this at the same time as chapter 28 so don't skip that one by accident!**

* * *

_"And it all came true, it all came true"_

* * *

"Thirsty?" Holly pointed to the Starbucks cup Gail had in her left hand. Holly's mom and grandfather had excused themselves to go back to meet Holly's dad and brother who were waiting with her grandmother while the three had gone to get lunch. Summer was still 'in the bathroom.'

Gail looked down to the cup and raised it up a little bit, "oh this little half gallon? Your _sister_ got it for me. I think she's trying to kill me. I'm pretty sure I already have heart palpitations."

Holly chuckled weakly, "she sure is a strange one."

Gail eyed the end of the cafeteria where the food was displayed, "I think I'm gonna grab something to eat real quick before too much more of my stomach lining gets eaten away," then she quickly added, "I you don't mind."

"Be my guest," Holly motioned towards the food, "they have a _killer_ chicken salad."

Gail narrowed her eyes, "define '_killer._'"

Holly smiled, it wasn't her usual crooked smile, and it wasn't her wide smile that reached all the way to her ears, but at least it was a smile, "_edible,_" she corrected herself.

"Gotcha," Gail nodded her head, "do you want anything?"

Holly shook her head 'no' so Gail scooted off and picked something out.

Gail sat down and started to unwrap her sandwich from the cellophane and asked tentatively, "so, how's she doing?"

Holly bowed her head and rested it on her hand. She started picking at the end of Gail's sandwich wrapper that was closest to her, "she had a cerebrovascular accident yesterday morning. Gramp was a cardiologist, I think I told you that, anyways, he recognized what was happening so he called an ambulance. The E.R. doc diagnosed it an ischemic stroke caused by thrombosis and they gave her thrombolysis but she had a few more that afternoon and slipped into a comatose state. She's on a vent now," Holly sighed when she finished and looked up at Gail who was starting blankly back. She put her sandwich down and looked Holly in the eyes sympathetically, "I'm _so_ sorry, Hol." Gail cocked her head to side, "also would you mind translating that into English maybe?"

Holly snorted a little bit but started to explain, "cerebrovascular accident just means stroke, really. An ischemic stroke is caused by decreased blood flow to part of the brain, as opposed to a hemorrhagic stroke which is caused by a hemorrhage, which is bleeding in the brain. With an ischemic attack parts of the brain aren't getting enough oxygen which can cause permanent damage to that area. Depending on where in the brain it is a person's ability to do pretty much anything can be compromised, or the effects could be pretty minimal. Thrombosis is when a blood vessel is blocked because of a clot that forms in the brain as opposed to a clot that forms somewhere else in the body and then travels to the brain. They gave her drugs that are supposed to break up any clots but she kept having more attacks anyway. The damage to her brain caused her to slip into a coma, which is when-" Gail cut her off by covering Holly's hand with her own.

Gail gave Holly a sad smile, "I know what a coma is." Holly inhaled sharply. "Summer said," Gail paused, "Summer said they're waiting for your uncle? She's not going to wake up, is she?"

Holly shook her head no and Gail gave her hand a squeeze. All of the sudden Holly's expression changed in an instant to one of confusion. She peered around Gail, "what the hell?" Gail turned around and Summer waved at them from a couple tables back. She was holding a salad bowl in her left hand and had her legs propped up on the chair across from her own. "Ugh," Holly groaned, "she is _such_ a brat. She totally stole the car keys from me, did she tell you that?"

"Yeah she kinda mentioned that," Gail took another bite of her sandwich.

Holly peeked over Gail's shoulder as she said, "such a _torn_ in my side."

Gail raised a finger and spoke before she was done chewing, "that's kinda in the 'little sister' job description."

Holly leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms, "she trying to snoop, and she's doing a _pretty_ bad job of hiding it."

"That's also in the job description," Gail quipped, "except for the being bad at it part. I'm pretty good at it."

"Yeah, well that's kind of in your _job_ job description."

Gail wagged her eyebrows. She had been nervous about seeing Holly again, she still didn't know where they stood. It was almost like nothing had happened, except Gail definitely felt an elephant in the room. "Holly," Gail put down her sandwich and asked tentatively "do you-do you think we should _talk_?"

Holly closed her eyes, "no-I mean, yes. But not now. Not now, okay? Please?" Holly's eyes were sad and pleading but warm.

Gail smiled with closed lips and nodded once, "of course."

* * *

They spent the rest of the afternoon just sitting in the waiting room. Only two visitors were allowed in the ICU at a time and Holly always managed to find something else she '_had_' to do when her Dad or brother or mom came out to switch. Gail hadn't seen Ed since Holly introduced them in the cafeteria. He wasn't leaving his wife's side. Summer was here one moment and then gone the next. She flipped through a lot of magazines but didn't seem to be actually reading anything. Whenever Holly's mom was in the waiting room she took out her knitting and slyly watched her family like a hawk. She clearly didn't actually need to look at her knitting to avoid making mistakes.

Around six fourty-five Holly's mom walked over Evan, Holly, and Gail in the waiting room, "I just talked to the nurse, they're closed to visitors from seven to eight so we should head back and get something to eat," her eyes darted around the room trying to locate Summer, "_where's_ your sister?"

Right on cue Summer walked past her mom and announced, "girls in mom's car," while jingling the keys she had swiped before. Anne rolled her eyes at her daughter as Evan offered, "I'll wait for dad and Gramp Ed." Anne nodded and waited for Holly and Gail to stand before taking off after Summer.

* * *

The kids were all gathered around the kitchen breakfast bar as Holly's mom removed her freshly baked cookies from the tray and made some tea. Holly had excused herself a few minutes ago to 'go to the bathroom.' Gail was pretty sure that was a lie though, seeing as Holly had headed towards the side door off the kitchen. She grabbed a cookie off the plate and realized that Summer had disappeared again. Gail wasn't judging, but it was starting to get a little creepy.

Evan looked around the room confirming his sisters had left and leaned over the counter, "they haven't been in once, mom." Anne didn't respond, she just looked Evan straight in the eyes. "The girls?" As he prompted her his eyes widened and he shrugged like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

She looked taken aback and placed her bent wrist on her hip, "Evander Edmund Stewart, who do you think you're talking to?"

'_Woah,'_ Gail thought, '_Mrs. Stewart has _sass.' She could practically see Evan's tail go between his legs, '_or should I say, Evander?! Who knew.'_

"Do I _ever_ miss a thing?" Her voice became a hissed whisper, "of _course_ I know Holly and Summer haven't seen your Gram," she stopped whispering, "and you, you think you're so clever pushing your food around, smashing it up, what have you. Don't think I don't know that you haven't eaten more than two bites since you got here." She paused her lecture to push two cups towards Gail and smiled, "I'd check the porch swing, dear."

Gail stood and took the cups by the handles. She smiled at Holly's mom and nodded as she turned away towards the door. She could hear Holly's mom start up again as she backed through the screen door. Gail looked left and right, up and down the porch. No swing in sight. Holly's grandparents house looked like an old farm house. It was big and grey, and it had a wraparound porch. It was the kind of house that had swinging doors into the kitchen and glass knobs on all the doors. Totally the kind of house that would have a porch swing. She headed along down the porch towards the backyard. Yahtzee. Gail spotted the swing at the opposite end of the porch. Holly was sitting with her legs stretched out in front of her, leaning against the armrest with her back to Gail.

"Your mom made tea," she held the mug in front of Holly who seemed to come out of a daze as she craned her neck to look up at Gail.

"Thanks," Holly took the mug and scooted her feet up so Gail could sit before resting her calves in Gail's lap. Gail put her own mug on the little side table to the right of the swing and casually started massaging Holly's feet. Well, as casually as Gail did anything.

"Your mom just ripped your brother a new one. I never knew she had so much sass."

Holly chuckled, "she's always making sure his head doesn't get too big." She took a sip of her tea before she asked, "what'd he do this time?"

Gail tried to act nonchalant, "just sticking his nose where it doesn't belong I guess."

Holly raised her eyebrows, waiting for Gail to continue, "he was just saying something about you and Summer not seeing your gram, and she basically told him to s-t-f-u because she notices everything. She said something about him not eating anything."

Holly sighed, "yeah well, that might just be because he ate that slop from the plane. He's lucky to be alive," she skirted over what Evan had said about her.

Gail laughed lightly and let the silence sit for a minute before she asked "I told about our cottage up north right?" She looked over at Holly to make sure she was following. Holly nodded as she swallowed a sip of tea, so Gail continued, "and I told you about the 'ditch your kid and make 'em walk home alone through the woods' Peck family tradition right?"

"Yeah, I still don't really think that's totally legal," Holly answered casually.

"Yeah, well, anyways there's sort of a part that I leave out when I tell the story to kinda give the full effect of how terrifying it was," Holly raised her eyebrows at this confession. "Well the whole time I kept looking over my shoulder and all around because I had this erie feeling that I was being followed. Scared me brainless. When I got home everyone was in the living room playing Scrabble, half watching the window for me. That is, everyone but my granddad. He shuffled in like five minutes after I did with some wood for the fire. The thing was, he didn't bring the wood carrier, and we already had enough wood inside for like four days because it was supposed to rain the day before but never did. He put the wood down and said 'I hope you cheaters didn't skip my turn while I was gone.' I stormed upstairs because obviously I was pissed as hell. But I watched him from the staircase. He didn't have a board of tiles for the game." Gail paused to look over at Holly who had cocked her head to the side. "He followed me the whole way home from the store. He was always kind of doing that, you know? Looking out for me but trying to hide it, like an invisible safety net or something," Gail looked back at Holly to make sure she was following. She was watching Gail over the top of her mug so Gail looked back at the backyard before she continued, "I used to watch the Jays games with him. They sucked back then, but he didn't care. He taught me all the rules and he'd roll his eyes when the umpires 'called it wrong.' But mostly we just sat and watched together. I just kinda stopped caring though; watching without him just didn't interest me. It wasn't the same." Gail took a deep breath, "he died about eight years ago. He was _old. _He was almost ninety-five. He had a good life; he had a happy life. He missed my grandma a lot. She died about five years before him. That's the only time I saw him cry." Gail paused for a second to reach down and take a sip of her tea before returning her hands to Holly's feet. "Anyway, he wasn't doing so great. He was in a home for a couple years and he got sick. Then he got really sick. They decided to stop his medications. It was his time and I wanted that for him. Peace? It was my third year at school. I was home for winter break. My dad took me to see him a couple days before. We had to put masks and gloves and those meshy blue gowns on to go into his room. It was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do. He looked so old, so weak. He had an oxygen mask on, ya know? I couldn't really understand anything he was saying. Took me a while to realize he was saying 'hi' to me. But I just couldn't say anything back. I could barely move, I couldn't speak. I just wanted him to drift away, you know? I couldn't go near him. I just stood there like a celery stalk until the nurses came in a few minutes later and needed us to leave. I didn't say goodbye. I didn't hold his hand. I didn't tell him I loved him." Gail wiped a tear away from her cheek before looking over at Holly, "you have to say goodbye. Even if you think she's not there, even if it's the hardest thing you ever do, because not saying goodbye will be harder. You won't ever forgive yourself, even if you know she would have."

Holly didn't know what to say. She didn't know what to do with that, so she looked away towards the setting sun. She side eyed Gail, "who are you, and what have you done with Gail Peck?"

Gail grabbed one of Holly's toes and tugged a little while deadpanning, "how do you know my evil twin?"

They sat in silence for a minute before they heard the screen door slam and footsteps coming their way. Summer shook a set of keys in front of her, "Susie's for ice cream, you guys wanna come?"

Gail practically threw Holly's feet off of her lap before jumping up and dragging Holly with her, "yes we do."

* * *

_"And it all came true, it all came true"_  
-_ Matt Walters "I Would Die For You"_

* * *

**A/N: This section of the story isn't particularly cheery but Happy Holidays everyone! Don't worry, there's more to come.**


	30. Chapter 30: Oh, What a Thrill it Was

_"What a thrill it was to be in your arms again, and oh, what a thrill it was to be in those arms again__"_

* * *

Gail and Holly trudged up the stairs to Holly's grandparent's guest room. Evan had gone to the study to make a call to work and Summer had disappeared, again, practically the second they got out of the car. Gail was certain her bag had felt lighter this morning. Maybe that was just because she had made Dov carry it from their apartment out to the car for her. _Oh Dov_. They brushed their teeth and changed into their pajamas quickly and quietly. Holly climbed into bed and removed her glasses while Gail hovered awkwardly at the foot of the bed. Holly casually crossed her arms on her lap and asked cheekily, "have something you wish to share with the class, officer?"

Gail's head shot up and she bounced the pads of her fingertips off of each other, "do you, like, want me to ah, sleep on the floor, or something?" Gail raised her eyebrows and they peeked over the bridge of her nose.

Holly almost laughed and raised her eyebrows, "do _you_ _want_ to sleep on the floor?"

Gail shrugged nonchalantly, "not really I guess."

Holly smiled, "well _I_ don't really want you to sleep on the floor either."

Gail approached the side of the bed cautiously, "so then I guess I probably shouldn't sleep on the floor." Holly didn't say anything, she just pulled away the covers as Gail rounded the bed. She took her watch off, placing it on the night stand, and before Gail knew it Holly was snuggling into her side. Gail let out an involuntary sigh as she closed her eyes and whispered, "I missed you." She froze for a second when she felt Holly's lips on her's before her body caught up, granting Holly's tongue entrance. It was soft warm and sweet. It felt like home. Gail's skin caught fire as Holly's hand slipped under her shirt. Her hips bucked up, trying to meet Holly's. But then her brain caught up, she rolled them onto their sides and lightly pushed herself away. "Holly, wait," Gail took a deep breath.

"What?" Holly's eyes darted around Gail's face, confused.

Gail put on her best 'cut the crap' face. "Do you-I don't want you to regret anything. We-we haven't really talked yet-"

Holly cut her off, "Gail, please," her eyes were even more pleading than her voice, "I _need_ this. I need _something_. Help me feel better, please." Gail's heart broke looking into Holly's eyes. She decided she'd do whatever Holly wanted. She'd do anything, _anything _Holly asked of her. Gail kissed _that _spot on Holly's neck who responded with a labored moan. Gail pushed the brunette's top up as she kissed her way down a tanned front. "Gail. Gail?" Holly tugged up lightly on blonde hair. Gail looked up from Holly's bellybutton with a soft expression. Holly sighed, "stay? Would you just...stay up here? With me?" Of _course_ she would. She scooted up, hovering over brown eyes before kissing her with all she had. She tried to swallow all of her pain, all of her grief. Gail tried to take it all away; all of it.

* * *

Gail awoke with a mouth that felt like sandpaper. Her throat was so dry she could barely swallow. _Stupid airplane. _She needed water, and she needed gallons of it. She slowly untangled herself from Holly's mess of limbs and slid out of bed. She threw a sweatshirt on over her t-shirt and shorts and tried to slink quietly out of the room. This house wasn't exactly built for slinking. It was big and old and every floorboard gave away your exact location. Perhaps if you lived here you could learn to navigate the quietest path, but Gail was a novice. She finally made it to the kitchen and grabbed a glass out of the cabinet and shoved it under the water dispenser on the fridge. The appliances were definitely on the older side but they were clearly top of the line when they were bought. Their soft creme color fit the house too; modern stainless steel would have ruined the room.

"Leave some for the fishes."

Gail was so startled by the voice behind her that she almost choked on the water she was gulping down. She spun around as she was coughing. Gail could barely make her out, but Summer was seated at the kitchen table with a glass of wine and a half empty bottle. All the lights were out and Summer's face and silhouette were only illuminated by the starlight coming in through the large windows. She ignored Gail's coughs as she reached towards the other end of the table and dragged another wine glass towards the bottle. "Don't make me drink alone," Summer poured a glass and thrust it towards the chair across from her. Gail filled her glass again and slowly walked over to the table and gingerly took a seat. Gail was pretty sure, based on Summer's slight lisp and uncharacteristically uncoordinated movements, that she was at least a little drunk. No one should drink alone. Gail had definitely done that before and it sucked. Gail tried to wait it out as her heart rate returned to semi-normal.

"I'll kill you."

Gail's head snapped up and her eyes widened at Summer's deceleration.

"Excuse you?" Gail tried to narrow her eyes and appear more steely.

"If you hurt her again, I'll kill you," Summer put her wine glass down and whipped out her pointer finger and zeroed it in on Gail. "I don't care that you're a cop or that your parents are Mister and Misses Toronto PD. I'm pretty sure I saw every episode of CSI there was by the time I was twelve, thanks to Holly. Plus I'm really jacked and I totally know it. I can bench your body weight and squat two and a half times that. If you hurt her again I will fuck. Your. Shit. Up." Summer took another swig from her glass and then topped it up. Gail knew Summer was exaggerating, but she also knew she wasn't kidding.

"_Misses _and _Mister_ Toronto PD," she corrected her.

"Huh?" Summer asked as she brought the glass back up to her mouth.

"My mom captains that ship. William's kind of along for the 'Peck' ride in a lot of respects," Gail took a sip of wine, trying her best to appear in control.

"Same difference," Summer shrugged it off.

"So you're just, what? Getting drunk off a hundred and seventy-five dollar bottle of wine, at the kitchen table, in the dark, alone?" Gail raised her eyebrows and scrunched her forehead.

"I'm not alone," Summer quipped matter-of-factly, "you're here."

"Yeah, well, I'm leaving just as soon as my heart stops crashing into my ribs."

"They were real close, you know." Gail just nodded as Summer took another sip. At least she was sipping and not chugging. "Like, uber close. Mom was only out of law school for a year when Hol was born. Dad was just finishing his second year of residency. Once mom went back to work Hol was with Gram all day. And when she started going to school Gram would pick her up and take her home until mom and dad finished work. Not even gonna lie, I'm totes jealous. Gram was a bad ass chick. She was pretty chill too. Mom can get a little nutzo, kinda in your face?" Gail nodded a long, she definitely picked up on that a little bit. Similar to her mom in a way, but Holly's mom's intentions seemed more genuine than the Superintendent's. "But Gram was calmer. Mom's whip smart, but Gram was really wise."

Gail just nodded along. They sat in silence for a few moments before they could hear the hardwood creaking softly and the door to the kitchen swung open.

"Ah, brooding in the dark, are we?" The eldest Doctor Stewart commented as he walked toward the stove and put the kettle on. "I'll make you girls a cup of tea," he shuffled along the counter towards the sink and flipped a light switch and the hanging light above the center island flickered on.

"Actually Gramp Ed, I was just on my way to bed, but Gail was just talking about wanting a glass of tea," Gail gave Summer a swift kick to the shin before Summer rose from the table. She was being trapped here, alone, with their grieving grandfather who she barely knew. Gail had probably spent an entire forty minutes with the man.

"Ah excellent. what's your poison?" He shuffled over to the cabinet on the wall above the sink and threw it open, "we have everything."

Gail gave Summer a death glare as she answered in a cheery voice, "uh, mint would be great."

Summer whispered, "remember what I said," and drew her pointer finger across her neck before waving as she walked across the kitchen towards the doorway. There were still a few sips left in the wine bottle so she held it behind her back as she placed her hand on his shoulder and kissed his cheek, "night Gramp Ed. Love you."

He squeezed her hand and said, "love you too bumblebee. I hope you enjoyed my Louis Jadot, it was a 2006," but Summer just grinned big as she walked backwards through the swinging door. "Such a waste. She can't even appreciate it. College kids just drink to get drunk," he grumbled, "mix it in with all that sugar."

"Well, she left a couple sips in her glass, if you want a taste," Gail pointed to Summer's abandoned glass. He chuckled and swatted his wrist in the glass's direction before he reached up for a couple mugs. He busied himself placing the tea bags in the mugs, "she was her favorite you know."

"Sorry?" Gail was a little confused.

"Holly. She was always Beth's favorite. She knows it too, but she'll never admit to it," he removed the kettle from the stove as it started to whistle and poured water into the mugs. Gail smiled; of course Holly would never admit it, she probably won't even let herself see it. "Throw that light on dear," he pointed to the switch on the wall behind Gail. She leaned back in her chair and reached up to the wall. The light above the table flickered on and he made his way over with the two mugs. He was tall. He looked like he might have been taller than Holly's dad at one point. His dark rimmed glasses contrasted his silver white hair, but he still had a lot of it. He was wearing a navy blue pajama set with white trim. Gail thought that it went well with his hair. He placed the mug in front of Gail and she wrapped her hands around it with a smile. "I gave her a couple of boys. She loved those boys," he paused to take a sip from his mug and smiled, momentarily off in a different time. "But Holly was her first _little girl._ _And_ her first grandbaby, " he added. "Beth only had love to give, and she gave all she could to that little girl. She spoiled her sweet, every day. They were pretty close to inseparable." Gail listened intently, fascinated by a glimpse into young Holly. He took another sip, "her first word was 'Gram.' I'm sure after Anne went back to work Beth spent close to all day, everyday coaching her on that," he chuckled into his mug at the memory. "She didn't talk to Anne or Geoff for _weeks_ when they told her they were moving back to Toronto," Gail smiled knowingly. Holly wasn't an angry person by any standards, but when she was mad, and she thought she had a right to be, she owned it. "_Sharing_ Beth with Evander once he was born had been bad enough," he peered over the top rim of his glasses, "but when she realized she wasn't going to go to Gram's after school anymore," he shook his head. Gail was surprised to hear Holly was a poor sharer as a child. Holly was mostly easy going and gentle; _chill_. Gail shrugged internally, _she was like six after all._

"I think she's taking it pretty hard," Gail took another sip of her tea. She didn't want to overstep but she was also confident that everyone could tell. She wasn't exactly sharing a _secret_. Plus, he started it.

Ed smiled. _Why is he smiling?_ Gail raised an eyebrow at his reaction. "I'd be worried if she wasn't," his smiled turn sad as he looked down into his mug. "But if anyone taught her how to keep going it was my Beth. I was the cardiologist, but she knew hearts unlike anyone." He was silent for a minute and Gail didn't know what to make of that. She was trying to figure out something to say when he patted her hand and pushed his chair back as he stood up, "I'd better be off to bed. Beth hates it when I stay up too late." He raised a finger as Gail stood up from her chair and said with a smile, "The morning has gold-"

"In it's mouth," Gail finished with him. Holly must have said that a hundred times as she leapt out of bed for her morning run while Gail slammed a pillow over her own head.

He smiled brightly and Gail thought she saw a tear fall from his eyes, "she remembers."

"Yeah, you could definitely say that," Gail chuckled as they walked through the kitchen's swinging door. She flicked the lights out as she left the room behind him. She turned to head up the staircase and he continued on toward the first floor master suite. "Stay out of the hot sun," he called lightly with a wave.

"Goodnight, Ed," Gail whispered as she placed her foot on the first step. _Yikes_. That was a loud one.

Gail placed her glass of water gingerly on the coaster on the nightstand. She tried to slither into bed without waking Holly but the challenge was too great. Holly was starfished across the entire queen sized bed. "Where d'ya go?" Holly stirred half asleep as Gail nudged her over a little.

"Water," Gail answered as Holly curled back up around her, "want some?" Holly didn't answer though, she was already sound asleep again.

* * *

_"What a thrill it was to be in your arms again, and oh, what a thrill it was to be in those arms again__"_  
-_ Josh Ritter "In Your Arms Again"_

* * *

**A/N: I hope all of you who celebrate had a happy Christmas!  
Once again I'm writing a little out of order so the next update shouldn't be _too_ long :)**

**Thanks again for all the views/reviews/follows! I love hearing what you guys are thinking/feeling!**


	31. Chapter 31: You Are All I Can't Replace

**A/N: This is a sad one. You've been warned...**

* * *

_"Come by fire, come by rain, come by boat, or come by plane. You are all I can't replace; how I long to see you again. You left by water, left by flame, left me crying in the rain. Oh it's not your fault, honey-just tell me that I'll be seeing you again, just tell me I'll be seeing you again."_

* * *

Gail's eyes burned as they blinked open and were met with the red glow of the window. Sunrise. It was _early_. She reached over with her left hand and grabbed at the glass of water. She couldn't sit up because Holly was, well, allover. Gail dribbled a little as she took eager gulps before returning the glass to the nightstand. She wiped at her chin and reached for her watch. 5:45. She rolled her eyes and went quickly back to sleep.

* * *

Gail groaned and rolled onto her stomach, burring her face in the pillow, "what. The. _Hell, _Holly?"

Holly made her way from the curtains she had just ripped open towards the bed and pulled the covers away from Gail. "Rise and shine, sleepyhead," Holly smiled cheerily, "it's seven."

Gail glared at her for a measured amount of time. There were less brutal ways to wake a person. "Wait, why are you dressed like that?" Gail bounced her head towards Holly who stood in front of her in a t-shirt, running shorts, and sneakers. "I'm not going with you," Gail thew her head back onto the pillow.

Holly laughed and poked Gail in the ribs, "I _already_ went with Summer. _You_ weren't invited."

Gail sat up again and raised her left eyebrow. She looked over at the closed bedroom door and then back at Holly, finally noticed her shirt was already sweat stained and her forehead was glistening, "_Summer_ went on a _run_ with you? Before seven in the morning?"

Holly shrugged, "she got me up at six. It wasn't super long. Mom and dad are taking Gramp Ed over to the hospital in like half an hour. Mom gave Evan her keys and he said we're leaving at 'eight o'clock, on the button,'" her tone was slightly mocking when she imitated her brother.

Gail swung her legs over the sides of the bed and rubbed her eyes, "wait a second. _She_ got _you_ up at _six?_"

"Yeah, so?" Holly had moved to her suitcase and was rummaging through it.

Gail finally stood and said, "because like seven hours ago she was three sheets to the wind."

"_What?!_ Holly stood up abruptly clutching a clean shirt and a pair of khakis.

Gail nodded and raised her eyebrows, "when I went downstairs to get some water last night she was getting cozy with one of your grandparents' hundred and seventy-five dollar bottles of wine."

Holly paused before asking, "well did she at least share?" Holly sighed and slumped her shoulders slightly while dropping the clothes she was holding onto the top of her suitcase.

"She kinda forced a glass on me," Gail shrugged.

Holly rolled her eyes, "what a weirdo. I'm gonna go grab a shower real quick," and turned towards the door.

"Cool," Gail said as she flopped back onto the bed.

* * *

"Praise the lord!" Summer rolled out of the car and dropped to the ground, pretending to kiss the pavement.

Gail stepped out of the car and looked at Holly over the roof of the sedan. Gail's eyes popped wide and she mouthed, 'drama queen.' Holly chuckled.

When she fell in step with Gail, Holly whispered, "maybe she is more hungover than I initially noticed."

Summer whipped her head around, her eyes hidden by her aviator sunglasses, "I heard that."

Gail shook her head, "those sulfites are a killer."

When they entered the hospital Gail and Holly went off in search of a decent cup of coffee while Evan headed toward the waiting room and Summer went wherever Summer goes.

"Wanna bite?" Gail asked through a full mouth, raising her doughnut up in Holly's general direction. She shook her head 'no.' Gail made a 'well _okay_' face and took another bite herself.

Holly crossed her arms in front of her chest as she walked and hesitated before asking, "do you-are you working tomorrow?" Her voice was soft and inquisitive, but shy.

Gail just shook her head as if it was nothing and huffed, "nah, took it off," as she fought to chomp down on an extra large bite of doughnut. Holly let out a breath she didn't know she was holding in as they sat down opposite Evan in the waiting room. He hung up his phone and looked at Holly, waiting for her to meet his eyes. When she finally did he spoke softy, "that was Aunt Karen. They just landed. They'll be here in less than an hour." Holly nodded her comprehension and Evan held her gaze for a few extra seconds, hoping she was getting the urgency of his message. Luckily for Holly, Summer strolled over to the group with another huge iced coffee. "Sup, Curly," she made eye contact with Evan before nodding at Holly, "Moe", and finally smiled at Gail, "Larry." Holly rolled her eyes at her younger sister while Gail just took a sip of her coffee.

Evan turned to Summer and draped his hands over the armrest of the chair in between them, letting his hands dangle over the seat, still clutching his phone. "Aunt Karen just called. They'll be back from the airport in less than an hour," his eyes were sad and sympathetic as if he was expecting a big and emotional reaction from her.

Summer wasn't having any of it. Evan could take his violin elsewhere. She looked him straight in the eye and said, "nifty," as she took a sip from her straw.

Evan let it slide and decided to change the subject, "anyone know where mom is? I'm assuming dad's with Gramp Ed."

He got three different versions of 'no.' Summer turned away from him and procured a deck of cards from her bag. "Texas hold 'em anyone?" Summer dangled the deck of cards and wagged her eyebrows.

Gail shoved the rest of her doughnut in her mouth and said, "I'm in," while brushing her hands off on each other. Something to do that was better than pub trivia.

"Why not?" Evan reasoned he was bored as hell and not going anywhere for a while.

Holly shook her head and stayed in her seat while the other three shuffled their chairs around. While the game started Holly just gazed off at the doors that lead to the ICU. She drummed her fingers on her knee. Holly looked up, brought back to the moment when she felt Gail's hand surround her restless fingers. Holly heard the clicking of her mother's shoes on the white linoleum as she spotted her father walking through the automatic doors.

"Holly."

She snapped her head around to face her mother, "mom."

"I need to speak with your dad, would you?" She nodded towards the hallway. It was stated as a question but Holly knew it wasn't one. She knew it was her mother's way of gently saying, 'get your sorry ass in to see your grandmother, you don't have forever you know.' Holly nodded. Her mother smiled her acceptance and turned to walk briskly towards her husband. Summer and Evan pretended not to notice the exchange that went on around them and feigned heightened interest in their game. Holly looked up at the ceiling for a moment until she felt Gail squeeze her hand gently. "Go on," Gail said quietly with a smile, "we're gonna start playing for money when our babysitter leaves," she closed with a wink. Holly smiled for such a short amount of time it almost looked like a spasm, but Gail saw it. She eyed Holly over her hand of cards as the brunette rose decisively from her chair and made her way across the waiting room and disappeared beyond the double doors.

* * *

Holly stood stalk still outside the glass doors. She was a doctor. She knew what it was like. Still, she took in all the tubes and wires and beeping machines as if they were all completely foreign. She took in her grandfather, hunched in a bedside chair. His white hair and pale blue oxford shirt blended in perfectly to the room. His gold watch glinted in the light as he rose from his seat. He looked older than she remembered. Holly took a deep breathe as the automatic door opened, allowing his exit. His slightly shrunken frame meant that he and Holly saw pretty much eye to eye. In his heyday he would have cleared six feet easily. He smiled briefly before saying, "sit a while, will you? Old man's gotta stretch his legs."

Holly blinked and nodded softly before he gave her upper arm a light squeeze and headed for the main waiting room. She watched him walk out the door and then turned her attention back towards her grandmother. Holly took a deep breath and approached the glass door. She paused for it to open and then took one quick step inside, allowing it close behind her. She wrung her hands together as her eyes darted around the room, "I'm kind of mad at you, you know." Holly didn't know where her voice had come from, it was barely a whisper. "You always said staying angry at someone you loved was the biggest waste there was, but I can't help myself. You didn't even let me say goodbye," Holly looked back towards the nurse's desk, embarrassed by her sudden quiet outburst. She looked back into the room and moved towards the chair. He _had_ told her to sit; so she did. She rubbed her hands up and down her thighs a couple times as she continued to speak, "I remember when we first moved to Toronto. You visited all the time. I'd never say goodbye to you when you left though. I thought then you wouldn't leave. I thought that you _couldn't_ leave if I didn't say goodbye. I think mom and dad kind of liked it though; I'd spend the next four or five hours waiting quietly by the phone for you to call to say you'd gotten home." Holly paused and leaned forward in her chair, propping her elbows up on her long legs. She took another deep breath, "when you took me grocery shopping and I'd wander off to find the candy or the cakes you'd always tell me, 'don't wander off, Holly Stewart. It'd break Gram's heart if I lost you.'" Holly finally leaned forward and put her hand in her grandmother's. It was mostly free except for the plastic pulse monitor on her index finger. "Well Gram, you wandered off. You wandered off so far, and it broke _my_ heart."

Holly closed her eyes and rested head on her fist. "Well, actually, Gail kinda broke my heart first," she mumbled more casually. "I'm not really sure what to do," she sighed before a lengthy pause. "Well, I mean, I know what I'm going to do-I think-but I don't know if it's the right thing to do." She picked her head up off her hand and let it stand on it's own accord, "I'm scared I guess. I wish I could love like you, Gram. You were always so sure, so unafraid." Holly closed her eyes for a moment, "I remember the time when I was like four? I asked you why the two guys in the grocery store were holding hands. You didn't even bat an eye. You just said, 'because they love each other. People are supposed to love each other Holly, and anything else in life is just a waste.'"

Holly was silent for a couple minutes.

"You always said staying mad at someone you loved was the biggest waste of all in life." Holly let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding in, "but what if I did stay mad at you a little, but it meant that I didn't miss you so much so soon? Would that be a waste, Gram?"

Holly looked around the room, at the machines, at the monitors. She knew what each tube was for, what each liquid was, what each monitor was saying, she knew what each number meant. "Can you even hear me?" Holly laughed at herself. "I don't really even know what I believe anymore..." she trailed off.

"I'm sorry I didn't come in sooner, I just...I was too late anyways." Holly looked around and bit her lip, "I know Summer hasn't been in either. She keeps disappearing." Holly sighed, "I think she thinks she can't be as sad because she never lived here, because she didn't know you as long. You'd tell her that's bullshit. You're always right. She knew you all her life too. You came to almost all her meets, all her games. She looked for you. She looked for you in the stands. She'd spot you and then _notice_ me. When I was there that is," Holly paused for another moment. "She's going to be sad you won't be there at her last senior meet. When her family gives her flowers and stuff in that ceremony before it starts? She's probably not even thinking about it now. She'll be sad you won't be there. She'll probably be mad you were there for mine and not her's." Holly looked away, "'That's her right, dear.' That's what you'd say. Why'd you have to be such a saint, huh?" Holly asked jokingly, looking back at her grandmother's still face. "I'll go get her. She'll be okay."

Holly sighed and saw her grandfather and Uncle waiting at the nurse's station out of the corner of her eye. "I love you Gram, but you and I don't say goodbye. " Holly gave her Gram's hand a final squeeze and stood from the chair. She removed her fingers and turned to leave. Holly got about a foot from the door before she froze and turned around, "I do remember, just so you know. You and Gramp Ed took me to the hospital the day Ev was born. I wasn't a happy camper. God I was probably _such _a brat," Holly laughed lightly. "We were in mom's room and you said we could go down to the cafeteria to get some ice cream. I bolted out of the room. You thought I was halfway to the elevator when Gramp Ed said you should stay longer with Ev. You told him 'little Evander won't remember today, but Holly will,' and then we got soft serve. You were right; I remember, and I won't forget." Holly smiled sadly and spoke one last time, "stay out of the hot sun, Gram."

She turned and took a couple steps before waiting for the door to open for her exit. She put her hands in her back pockets and ducked her head slightly as she walked past her grandfather and uncle who were still standing at the nurse's station.

* * *

_"Come by fire, come by rain, come by boat, or come by plane. You are all I can't replace; how I long to see you again. You left by water, left by flame, left me crying in the rain. Oh it's not your fault, honey-just tell me that I'll be seeing you again, just tell me I'll be seeing you again."  
- Sara Jackson-Holman_ "_Come By Fire"_

* * *

**A/N: In other news, this was the 31st chapter?! What the...?! I honestly can't believe you guys are still hanging in there. THANK YOU! Special shout out to Mel, IrascibleFiddlehead & Ezri Dax for your super sweet and in depth comments on the last chapter :) Love to you all!**


	32. Chapter 32: I Want You to Go First

**A/N: Don't miss chapter 31! I uploaded it about 24 hours ago...**

* * *

_"I want you to go first. It's only getting worse, either way it's gonna hurt, but I want you to go first"_

* * *

"Are you like, Holly's _special_ friend?" The youngest Stewart cousin asked curiously. As he did so he rested his right hand on his knee, showing everyone the cards in his hand.

"Adam, shut _up_. You don't ask stuff like that," his older brother glared at him from across the circle.

"What?" Adam raised his left hand up in question. He had light brown hair and a buzz cut. His face was dotted with freckles that made his hazel eyes shine. Daniel, at the ripe age of twelve, thought about kicking his younger brother but he was too far away, plus there was one of those cube-like waiting room end tables between them.

"It's fine," Gail winked at him. "But we can all see your cards," she raised an eyebrow at him while gently pushing his cards up to standing with her right hand.

"Oops," Adam laughed at his mistake.

"Why'd you tell him?" Summer groaned.

"So, are you?" Adam asked again curiously. Summer and Evan snickered to themselves while Dan groaned, his younger brother was _so_ embarrassing. Gail raised an eyebrow at him. Without an answer, he continued on, "I heard mom tell dad that Holly doesn't bring anyone around because his family is an _abundance of anomalies_." Summer and Evan's eyes went wide, Daniel rolled his, and Gail kept her's trained on the eight year old. He turned to ask the group, "what's an 'abundance of anomalies?"

Summer didn't miss a beat, "your mom's wrong. You haven't met any of Holly's 'special friends,'" Summer threw up air quotes, "because they've all sucked." Evan glared at his younger sister, who shrugged and added, "what? It's the truth. They've been more than an '_abundance of anomalies,_'" complete with air quotes and a little extra sass.

Adam turned to Summer, "what does that _mean_?" His frustration was only compiled when his older brother snickered at him.

Gail looked at Daniel with a smirk, "well Merriam-Webster, do tell, do tell." Daniel's blush made Gail smile wider and Adam giggled.

Evan chimed in, "abundance means 'a lot of something' and an anomaly is something that isn't normal or what you'd expect; kinda like weird."

"And you mom was right about that," Summer chuckled. "And for like, the fourth time, it's your turn."

* * *

Holly didn't stop after she passed her uncle and grandfather. She walked straight through the waiting room and spotted her cousins playing cards with Evan and Gail in one corner and her mom and dad huddled with her aunt across the aisle. Gail had heard Holly's footsteps and looked up from their game.

"Where is she?" Holly asked with a mixture of urgency, concern, and annoyance.

Gail stood up from the waiting room chair, "don't know."

"She was here like five minutes ago," Evan offered up from his chair.

Holly looked around, "well, if she comes back, call me. And make her _stay_," she took off quickly for the hallway towards the main juncture of the hospital.

Gail looked down at Evan, "I should go, right?" She pointed after Holly with her hand of cards.

Evan shook his head 'no.'

Gail raised an eyebrow quizzically.

"Do you have a sister?" He asked with a hint of a laugh.

"If I said 'yes' my brother's ears would burn," Gail answered with a little more bite than she intended.

He openly laughed this time, "you should stay. Dan, it's your turn," he nodded towards his cousin.

* * *

"What are you doing _here_?" Holly whispered as she entered the chapel. This was the last place she thought Summer would be. She had already checked the cafeteria, a few bathrooms, the coffee carts, and the nursery window.

Summer didn't turn around and just responded with, "what are _you_ doing here?"

Holly sat down beside her, "looking for _you_, but of course."

"Congrats! You found me, but have you found _God_?" Summer offered Holly her large cup of iced coffee.

Holly declined the coffee. "You don't even believe in God," she questioned.

"So? Neither do you," Summer took a long sip from the straw.

"Well, I'm not the one hiding in the chapel," Holly smiled one of her crooked smiles.

"Actually, ya kinda are," Summer pointed out.

"I'm only here because _you_ are," she poked Summer in the shoulder. "I'm not hiding."

"_Ow_. Rude," Summer made a show of rubbing her injured shoulder. "I like it here. It's creepy, but it's less hospitally."

"That's fair," Holly sighed and let the quiet be for a minute. "She's gonna die, you know," Holly turned to look at Summer.

Summer rolled her head and eyes, "golly gee, you _don't_ say. I'm not an M.D. Hol, but I'm not _slow_."

"I know, I just," Holly looked away for a moment before looking back at her sister, "are you-are you _worried_ about her?" Holly wanted to get her sister to talk but she wasn't really sure how to in this situation.

"What do you mean? She's not in pain anymore, I know that much. Do you mean, am I worried about her _soul?_" Summer asked almost accusingly.

"Well, I don't _know_," Holly raised an arm before dropping it back onto her thigh.

"No, Holly, I'm not worried about her soul, because I'm pretty sure if there is a God, which I don't think there _is, _he or she or _it_ would have to be answering to _her_." Holly laughed for a moment before Summer continued, "she was a _saint_ and she'll be fine no matter what." Summer chewed on her straw lightly as she took a long drink.

"It's okay to be sad you know."

"Thanks Doctor Phil," Summer quipped with the straw still in her mouth.

Holly elbowed Summer in the ribs, "she liked your sass. She might have scolded you for making your little comments but she was always laughing a little."

"Ha!" Summer put her feet up on the chair in front of her.

"She was!" Holly insisted.

"Evander's being such an _ass_," Summer accentuated her brother's name with a pompous aire.

"Don't say that in a _church_," Holly whispered.

"This isn't a _real_ church, Hol," Summer's tone suggested Holly was being naive.

"Sure it is," Holly looked around.

"Fine, whatever, he's being an annoying, and controlling little man-boy," Summer smiled.

Holly felt like she shouldn't laugh, but she couldn't help the beginnings of a chuckle escape her throat, and a smirk ghost her face. "Yeah, I know. That's just his way though. He's trying to be there for everyone, which would be really nice if it wasn't so infuriating," Holly conceded. Holly spoke softly, her voice dripping with care, "come on, we gotta go. It's time," Holly rose from her chair and waited for her sister to follow suit.

* * *

"Go fish!" Adam proclaimed with a smile.

Daniel rolled his eyes as he reached for a card from the pile, "this game is stupid."

"_Fine_," Adam stuck out his tongue, "we can play something else." Both boys threw their cards into the center.

"What do you guys wanna play?" Gail asked casually as she started to shuffle the deck.

"Crazy eights," Adam smiled.

"_No_," Daniel groaned. "We played that for _seven_ _hours_ on the plane to China."

"_Fine_," Adam slumped in his chair, "what do _you _wanna play?"

Daniel shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know."

Gail looked between the brothers, "you guys know Blackjack?"

Adam shook his head side to side with an interested look on his face.

"How do you play?" Daniel sounded intrigued.

Gail continued to shuffle the cards and explained that the overall goal of the game was to have your cards total more than the dealer's, without going over twenty one. She told them that they would each be dealt two cards at first but that she, the dealer, would have one card face down that they couldn't see. Gail explained that all face cards were counted as ten, and that aces could be counted as one or eleven. As the dealer she had to ask for additional cards, 'hit', until she had more than sixteen, and had to 'stand' at that point. "We can play the first couple rounds with all of our cards face up until you get the hang of it," she said as she dealt them all two cards. Gail turned to Adam and asked patiently, "do you want another card or do you want to stay?"

He looked down at his cards and bit his lip, "umm." He looked up at her, unsure.

"Well you've got a five and a nine which means you have," Gail paused for him to finish for her.

"Fourteen," he said with a smile.

"Right, and how many do I have?" She coached, looking down at her own cards.

"Seventeen," he answered after a brief pause to add up Gail's nine and eight.

"Right, so I'm not allowed to ask for anymore cards. So that's my final hand. So you have to get between a seventeen and twenty one to not lose. Which makes it simpler for now."

"So, I've got nothing to lose asking for more cards?"

Gail nodded at him.

"Okay. Hit me!" He exclaimed with a smile.

Gail flipped another card over in front of him, "tap your cards with your finger if you want another."

He was quiet as he added his new four to his five and nine. He tapped his cards and said, "another!"

"Wait," Daniel cut in immediately, "didn't he already win?" Gail nodded before Daniel continued, "because you have to keep your seventeen and he has eighteen now. So he already wins."

Gail nodded again and Adam quickly said a cheery, "oh! Then I don't want anymore."

"So hold your hand over your cards and wiggle it a little," Gail demonstrated, "that means you want to 'stay.'" Gail turned to look at Daniel who had eleven showing. He stared down at his cards, concentrating, and tapped on them twice. Gail dealt him another card; a five. He didn't move his gaze and tapped twice more. She, again, flipped another card over in front of him; an eight.

"_Bust_," Adam said gleefully. "I _beat_ you." Daniel raised his head up and glared at his younger brother.

"Actually," Gail cut in, "_I_ beat him. You beat me, but you're not really playing against each other. You're both kind of playing two independent games against me." That was one of the reasons Gail had suggested this game. She gathered the cards up and started to shuffle them.

"How come everyone else is in there but us?" Adam asked.

"You don't want to be in there," Gail's answer was short as she shuffled the cards.

"Why not?" Adam looked up at her while he asked.

"Because she's dying now," Daniel rolled his eyes at his brother's niavete.

"But why is everyone in there but us?" Adam still wasn't satisfied.

Gail sighed, "because when you're an adult you can't skip the hard stuff. Even if you want to. You already did your hard stuff today." She dealt out another hand of cards. "Somethings you really won't understand until you're older, which is super annoying, but it's better than never understanding."

"How come you're out here?"

Daniel rolled his eyes at his brother's question.

"Because I never met your Gram," Gail gave Daniel another card when he tapped his hand.

"So?" Adam didn't understand.

"If you face planted at recess would you want the entire school to hang out in the nurse's office with you, or just your friends?" Gail raised an eyebrow at him.

"Oh," Adam conceded.

"Plus, someone had to make sure you guys didn't burn the place down," Gail winked and gave Daniel another card.

After a couple more hands Gail started playing with one of her cards face down. After their initial frustration at the change of pace the boys realized that the game was now a little more interesting. She eventually taught them about splitting their hand. Every few moments Gail would glance up at the double doors at the end of the waiting room. She looked up to see a figure walking down the hall beyond the double doors. Holly? She stared for a moment. No; Summer. She looked down to deal Adam another card but looked up when she heard Summer get closer. She plopped herself down in an empty chair. They made eye contact for a moment before Summer finally said, "well, deal me in _already_."

* * *

"Okay, Gail, seriously, where are we going?" Holly turned in the passenger seat to look across the console at Gail. "We've been driving for twenty minutes."

"I. Am. Not. Telling." Gail turned to Holly for a brief second and smiled.

"That was the seventh time," Evan piped up from back.

"Seventh what?" Holly whipped around and asked.

"Seventh time you've asked where we're going," Summer clarified. "But actually, it's the eighth time."

"What? No," Evan held up his hands in protest. All his fingers on his right hand were splayed, but only his thumb and pointer were showing on his left.

"The fourth time she asked she followed up with 'no but really, just tell me.' That was a two-for," Summer corrected him.

"You guys are the worst," Holly groaned and sunk lower into her seat which was getting difficult due to her long legs.

"Chill out, we're almost there," Gail patted Holly's knee.

"How do you even know where we're going?" Holly asked. "You've lived in Toronto your whole life and you're not using a GPS."

"I'm a police officer," Gail quipped. "I'm really good at directions." It wasn't that hard, really. Gail had remembered the way to the main road from Holly's grandparent's house, and a couple different highways later it was just off the main road. The sun was starting to set and Gail lowered the visor to try and block the glare out.

"Are we going to the mall?" Holly asked wearily.

"_No_," Gail quickly denied, shaking her head. "I _hate_ malls."

"I know, but there's a pretty big one like a mile down the road. I got my picture taken there with Santa a couple times."

"Thank _god_," Evan rested his head on the headrest. He also _hated_ malls.

A couple minutes later they pulled into a parking lot and Summer exclaimed, "righteous!" Before running out of the car as soon as the car stopped in a space. "Stellar," Evan commented before hopping out of the car to follow after his sister.

Gail turned the car off, and removed the key from the ignition before removing her own seatbelt.

Holly turned and smiled at Gail, a little dumbstruck, "you brought us to the batting cages?"

Gail turned in her seat and leaned against the driver door, "actually this place has go-karts, and laser tag, and mini golf too. It's cooler than the place you brought me to.

Holly mirrored Gail's position, "who would have thought _you'd_ be bringing _me_ to the batting cages?"

Gail shrugged, "I've been told it's cathartic."

Holly raised an eyebrow and her smile grew a little more crooked.

"Especially after a day like today," Gail added. Holly didn't say anything for a moment so Gail challenged, "we can leave dumb and dumber here if you want and head to the mall. Santa might even be around."

Holly laughed, "seeing as it's the end of July, I'm positive you'd probably have to arrest any 'Santa' we saw sooner of later."

"Probably," Gail cringed a little.

After a moment of silence Holly smiled a little wider, "thanks for bringing me here."

"Sure thing," Gail acted like it was nothing.

"And thanks or bringing those two," Holly added quickly.

"Wouldn't want them to be left to eat all your mom's cookies by themselves. They'd be bound to get sick," Gail smiled. "Watch out!" Gail grabbed Holly by the sleeve and pulled her off the door just as Summer yanked it open.

"Hurry it up! I've still got mom's credit card from picking up dinner, so shake a leg if you want her to pay."

Holly rolled her eyes at her sister as she and Gail hopped out of the car. They stayed for hours. Gail didn't so much as touch a bat but she was all about the go-karting and laser tag. This placed seemed to be right up Summer's alley, and Evan rolled up his oxford sleeves and got into it. He was a little too tall to take much cover in the laser tag arena, but he had played baseball for a while as a kid was even better than Holly at the batting cages. It was late when they got back, close to midnight, actually. Holly hovered at the top of the porch steps. Gail turned around when she realized Holly had paused and asked softly, "you coming?"

Holly bit her lip, "I don't really want to go in just yet."

Holly had seemed pretty care free at the batting cages and when they had all gone go-karting. But Gail could tell that the gloom seemed to be back. She took a few steps forward and sat down on the top step close to where Holly was standing. She turned on her heels and sat down next to Gail. "Thanks for tonight," Holly smiled weakly, "it was good to get away. I think they liked it too."

Gail wrapped her arms around her knees, it was a little chilly now that the sun had been down for a while. She cocked her head to the side to look at Holly and smiled, "you don't have to thank me."

Holly pushed her glasses back up to the bridge of her nose and leaned against the railing post, "well, I'm thankful that you did, so I'm telling you."

"Okay," Gail nodded softly, "well, you're welcome." They both were quiet for a few minutes before Gail spoke again, "I have to go back tomorrow night at least. I called in and we're super short staffed right now so I have to work on Saturday. Frank and Noelle are out with the baby and a bunch of people had already requested this weekend off." Gail waited for a response but got none. "I mean I could probably try and get my mom to pull some strings if you want me to stay." Still nothing. "Holly?" Gail waited a second before waving her hand in front of Holly's face. Nothing. Gail rubbed her hands up and down Holly's back and brushed a few strands of hair behind her ear when she started to stir.

Holly brushed her glasses back up and looked up and down, "oops."

Gail chuckled as she stood and took Holly's hand, "come on inside. Unless you want to sleep outside with the bugs."

* * *

_"I want you to go first. It's only getting worse, either way it's gonna hurt, but I want you to go first"  
- Rose Cousins "Go First"_

* * *

**A/N: I hope you guys didn't just miss Gail offering to CALL HER MOM for Holly, because that just happened.**

**For those of you that are worried I suggest you hang in there and read the next chapter... I'm ****trying to keep spoiler free on here...**

**p.s. FaBbErOoZ - I dig the feels.**


	33. Chapter 33: Stay: How I Want To

_"Stay: how I want to and leave all there behind. K__now that no other __will know my heart nor mind, __my heart nor mind. __And still, the darkness comes. __You know how I've loved you. __Two lives no greater seam. __If you ever wonder: y__es, you're why I'd sing, __you're why I'd sing. __And still, the darkness comes."_

* * *

"Long time no see, sis."

Gail could hear Steve's voice call down the hall but she continued to tap away at her keyboard. Her first hour or so in booking had been relatively mild, and stress free, and she wanted it to stay that way. Steve leaned his upper body onto the divider that surrounded the desk with his back to the cells. He drummed his fingers onto the top of Gail's computer screen. "Do you mind?" She didn't bother looking up at him.

Steve gave the screen one more vigorous tap before removing his hands and placing them onto the cool, painted cement. "You bailed on our dinner on Wednesday."

"Sorry, I-" Gail stopped when she realized Steve hadn't stopped speaking and was entering into one of his monologues. She leaned back into her chair, rested her elbows on the armrests, and laced her fingers together in anticipation of a long speech.

"Now," Steve placed his hand on his chest in dramatic fashion, "obviously at first I was a little hurt; I do love our dinners. Not hurt enough, mind you, to shy away from those delicious dumplings. Yes, Gail, I dined alone," he leaned in closer over the computer screen and raised his eyebrows to accentuate his point, as if he was making a pained confession. "Now, I _am_ a competent, confident adult. I felt no shame," Steve shook his head a little. "However, my disappointment in being robbed of your cheery company turned to slight annoyance when the bill came," Steve looked Gail in the eye. "Do you know why that is, Gail?" She only rolled her eyes and shook her head 'no', knowing full well that Steve wasn't going to pause for an answer anyways. "I remembered that not only were we supposed to have dinner, _but _it was also _your_ turn to pay," Steve smiled slyly. "My mood took another shift when I got home and you had _still _yet to respond to my message with _even_ a simple text such as, '_sorry can't make it. It's my day off and I just can't tare myself away from this 'Boy Meets World' marathon,"_ Steve mimed typing on a phone with his hands. "The big brother in me got concerned Gail," his voice turned serious, "I was worried you'd eaten too many cheese puffs and overdosed on 'red 40' and 'yellow 5.' However, when I shared my concern with Traci she informed me that my sister had hopped a flight to _Ottawa_ that morning." Steve put a hand up as Gail opened her mouth to speak. "Not much time passed before my phone was assaulted by calls and emails from our _mother_. Mind you I think she was trying to text." Gail smiled at that little tidbit. Their mother had just lost her final Blackberry, and the department had just begun switching all the phones over to iPhones. Elaine seemed to be having many mini wars with her new touchscreen companion. "Of course, being the _last one_ to know about your jet setting I was, of course, unable to answer her questions about where you were headed and why. Of course, this didn't prevent her from talking my ear off for a good fifteen minutes.

"How did _she_ know I'd left?" Gail was surprised and slightly creeped out that her mother had found out so quickly that she had gone to Ottawa. The only person she told that day was Dov. She had banged on his bedroom door a few minutes after waking up herself and shouted "you're driving me to the airport in half an hour," before she scurried off to the shower. As far as she knew Dov and her mother weren't buddies.

"Seriously?" Steve was genuinely surprised by Gail's question. "The second you or I show our I.D. at security the paper trail starts and she makes sure it makes it's way to her within a few hours at least."

Gail kicked herself internally, of _course_ her mother knew. "How come she hasn't been_ hounding_ _me_ for the past five days?" Gail looked up at Steve with horror written all over her face. This was not a move Gail had seen coming.

Steve shrugged it off, "she probably just doesn't want to show her hand yet. She knows you came in for your shift on Saturday." Gail's mind began racing with possible motivations her mother could have. The fact that she hadn't been calling her non-stop told Gail that something was up. She snapped out of her thoughts when Steve started speaking again, "_I_ on the other hand have not been spared," Steve pulled out his phone and started reading from the screen in dramatic fashion, "Thursday July twenty-fourth, Two Thousand and Fourteen, eight fourteen A.M., one twenty three P.M., six forty-nine P.M. Friday, July twenty-fifth, eight o'eight A.M., one forty P.M., seven fifty P.M. She must have had a long day at work that day," Steve remarked as he scrunched his face and nodded.

"_Okay_, okay! I get it," Gail conceded.

"Are you sure?" Steve asked in a mockingly sincere voice. He casually held out his phone, "because I could continue. I've got three more days worth of this. Actually," Steve brushed his sleeve away from his watch and glanced down at the face, "it's seven, her evening call should be coming through shortly," he smiled a big, cheesy smile. Gail didn't dignify his question with a response. Steve's voice turned sincere, "look, I'll tell her whatever you want. I haven't said anything, not like I _actually_ know anything to tell her. I'll tell her whatever you want me to." Gail nodded her thanks. She _was_ thankful to have Steve as a brother. "So," he put his head in his hand on top of the divider and smiled knowingly, "how was _Ottawa?" _He wagged his eyebrows for extra effect.

"Fine," Gail answered shortly and quickly went back to sorting through something unimportant on the computer.

Steve rolled his eyes, "_c'mon_," he groaned. Fine, if that's how she was going to play it he'd just have to lay it out, "how's Holly?"

Gail kept her eyes trained on her screen, "still nearsighted," she reported cooly.

Steve was almost impressed with how quickly and calmly she had delivered the line. "How's her grandmother?" He asked softly and with genuine concern.

Gail looked up at Steve, "dead." She looked back at her screen quickly while Steve closed his eyes. "The wake's tonight," Gail added flatly.

Steve let out a puff of air, "shit. Sorry. How's Holly doing?"

"You know," Gail continued to type away. She still didn't know exactly where she stood with Holly, which was understandable, but it worried her, so she tried not to think about it while there was nothing she could do.

"Well, _no_ I _don't _know, Gail. Which is why I _asked,_" Steve chuckled.

Gail stopped moving her fingers across the keyboard and looked up at him, "well her grandmother just died super unexpectedly, and they were like _super _close. So, not fabulous. And there's not really anything I can do, so..."

"So, what's up with you guys?" Steve still didn't get why Gail was being so short with him when he already told her he wasn't going to blab to their mom; not like he would anyways.

Gail looked back at the computer, "I don't really know."

"What do you mean?" Steve tried to keep his voice neutral. Why does Gail always have to be so difficult.

"Well," Gail kept her eyes on the screen, "I went over to her place, basically to grovel, on Wednesday. Made a complete fool of myself. Spilt my guts everywhere and then she was like 'gotta hop on a plane because my gram, who I calmly and without fuss worship, just had a stroke.' I drove her and her brother to the airport. Then, I followed some uncharacteristically decent advice from Dov, and left her a message while her plane was in the air. When I woke up the next morning I had a mostly incomprehensible message from her, so I flew out there. It wasn't really the time to have the 'I'm really sorry, and I'm a huge fuck up, but will you please take me back' talk. And then, as you know, I had to come back because, as you also know, we're super short staffed. Poor Oliver is probably going to lose what little hair he has left while he's acting Staff Sargent. We've already got three more officers out than we did four days ago, and I'm pretty sure that having to deal with that outdoor music festival this weekend took off, like, five years of his life." She left out the part about them having sex because, well, it was Steve. "So to recap, like I said, _I don't really know_." Since she landed back in Toronto on Friday night Gail hadn't heard much from Holly. Gail didn't want to push her. Plus, making pointless small talk would have been weird, and Gail was never any good at that to begin with.

Steve looked at Gail sympathetically and she wanted him to stop. "I'll tell her whatever you want, I really will, but I need to tell her _something_. These thrice daily phone calls are like a cloud that follows me everywhere," Steve raised a finger and smiled when his phone started to ring, as if on cue. His face fell when he looked at the screen and it wasn't their mother. "Sorry, hang on a sec," he told Gail as he swiped across the screen before bringing the phone up to his ear. Gail didn't listen to his conversation, because, well, she didn't care. It wasn't their mom and based on Steve's reaction it wasn't Traci, which meant it was probably work. Gail felt no inclination to eavesdrop. "I gotta go," Steve was talking to her again, "but seriously, just lemme know what you want me to tell mom."

Gail nodded her thanks as Steve turned to leave.

"Oh, and Gail," Steve had turned to face her but was still walking away, now he was just walking backwards, "it'll work out. With Holly." He added a smile as he turned the corner and disappeared.

Gail sighed. She knew Steve was trying to help. He _was helping _by playing interference with their mom, but he just stirred up everything she was already worried about. She scanned the room. The only guy they had booked that night was being interviewed, so she was the only one in there. There was nothing to do whatsoever. Gail spun around in her chair just so she would have _something_ to do. As she was whirling around she heard her phone vibrate on the desk. Gail planted her hands on the desk on her next pass and dropped her feet to the floor to apply the brakes on her chair. She was a little dizzy but she forced her eyes to focus on the screen of her still buzzing phone. She read the name that was displayed and snatched it up as quickly as she could.

"Holly, hey," Gail tried to sound like she hadn't just been spinning around in her chair as fast as possible.

"Did you mean it?" Holly sounded a little frantic, but like she genuinely wanted to know the answer to her question without being accusatory.

Gail tried to think as fast as possible but she didn't know what Holly was referring to. "Did I mean what?" She heard the garage door open to the sally port. _Shit_. Someone was being brought in.

"The other night," Holly answered in a hurry, "when you showed up on my doorstep. Did you mean what you said?"

Gail didn't hesitate, "yeah. Yes. Yes, I meant it. Of course I meant it. It's the truth. I meant it all." Gail glanced over at the door, "look, Holly, I'm on the night shift, and I _really_ have to go," Gail stood up and looked towards the door as it opened, "I'm sorry, but I'll call you later okay? Are you okay?"

Holly seemed to come out of a daze, "oh. Yeah, of course," she hurried out an answer, "I'll talk to you later."

"Okay. bye," Gail didn't want to hang up be she had no other choice. Nick and a rookie were standing in front of the desk with a guy who definitely smelled. This night just _kept_ getting better.

* * *

Holly locked her phone and slid it into her purse.

"Tag, you're it."

Holly turned around to find Summer standing in the doorway to the coat room. "Hey."

"I've discovered that it's easier if you hang out with Adam and Dan. People are briefer and vaguer around them. Most of the old ladies will get distracted by Adam's freckles too."

"Oh yeah?" Holly didn't have it in her to laugh.

"Definitely, they _love_ pinching his cheeks," Summer nodded and crossed the room. "But it's my turn to hide, so scram," Summer pointed her thumb over her shoulder at the door.

* * *

_"Stay: how I want to and leave all there behind. Know that no other will know my heart nor mind, my heart nor mind. And still, the darkness comes. You know how I've loved you. Two lives no greater seam. If you ever wonder: yes, you're why I'd sing, you're why I'd sing. And still, the darkness comes."_  
_- Aron Wright "And Still, The Darkness Comes"_

* * *

**A/N: I hope all of your new years are off to a great start!**

**Thank you all _so_ much for all the views, review, favs, and follows. Especially to those of you who are kind enough to leave a review. They make my day! Lemme know what you guys are thinking!**

**P.S. if you haven't noticed, I totally love Steve's character and if there's not some more Peck sibling time in season 5 I'll probably throw a temper tantrum.**


	34. Chapter 34: Signal in the Sky

_"Trees hang low and clouds suffocate the sun so you can see, put a signal in the sky for me"_

* * *

**Tuesday**

Holly rubbed her eyes as she tried to focus on the screen. She was sitting in bed trying to keep up with her emails. Summer had thrown herself on Holly's bed last night and hadn't left, but Holly didn't mind; it's not like she could really sleep anyways. Holly read through the email she had been working on one last time and hit send. She found the animated swooshing sound of a jet taking off that followed was strangely satisfying; it added to her sense of accomplishment. Holly clicked back to her inbox and started reading through the next email that needed her attention.

Summer was sprawled ungraciously on top of the comforter and as she rolled over in her sleep she kicked Holly's knee. Holly unceremoniously returned the kick; Summer seemed largely unfazed and maintained her slumber. Holly still had a good seven emails she needed to get to that morning. She glanced at the time; 6:15. She still had a good two hours before she needed to get up and dressed. Her boss and colleagues had been very understanding of her sudden absence, especially since it was the summer and lots of people had their own vacations planned. Still, there were open cases she was working on that needed to be handed off or dealt with mostly by the interns, which meant Holly was essentially doing most all the work by email proxy.

Another electronic 'swoosh' sound effect; another internal high five. Holly clasped her hands, stretched them out in front of her, and yawned. She heard her phone start to vibrate on the nightstand. If this call was about the email she had just sent she decided she wasn't going to answer. That was an empty threat, though and Holly knew it. She groped for the device on the nightstand and swiveled it around so she could read the screen.

Holly smiled as she slid her finger across the screen the accept the call, "hey."

_"Hi. What's up?"_

"Shouldn't I be asking _you_ that? You called me..."

Gail could practically hear Holly breakout in one of her crooked grins. Way to be a fool, Peck. _"Oh, well, what I _meant_ was, _you_ called_ me_ at the beginning of my shift and I couldn't really talk, so I'm calling you back now. So; what's up? Shit, I didn't wake you, did I?"_

"Oh, no no. I was up. Going through emails for work. Did you _just_ finish your shift?" Holly didn't remember Gail's night shifts going so long in the past.

_"Yeah, well, no. I stayed a little late in booking because we're so short staffed and then I got some food."_

"Ow!" Holly cursed as an elbow struck her right the boob as Summer rolled over to burrow her head under the pillow.

Gail raised her eyebrows and waited for an explanation even though she knew Holly couldn't see her.

"Sorry," Holly apologized as she smacked Summer's bum. "Summer just elbowed me in the boob."

_"That's not very sisterly_," Gail clicked her tongue.

"Well, she's asleep, she didn't mean it. But you're right; not very sisterly."

_"She's in your bed?"_ Gail raised an eyebrow, _"creeps."_

"Not, really," Holly shrugged, "she sleeps barefoot so, not as creeps as you."

_"Whatever_," Gail grumbled over the line. Holly chuckled as Gail continued, "_so how are things? The funeral's this morning right?"_ Holly heard a loud thud in the background which she chalked up to Gail dumping a bag of her's on the ground.

"Yeah it is. I mean it's fine," Holly sighed, "I mean it's awful. All these people keep coming up and saying how sorry they are but like, _I've never_ met them. And they're all old, so I have to bend down to talk to them, and yell so they can hear me. It's awful," Holly rubbed at her temples.

_"I kind of can't wait to lose my hearing,"_ Gail lamented. _"Then I won't have to hear the stupid stuff all these idiots come up with. I already know sign language so..."_

"Maybe I'll say that the next time one of them tries to strike up a conversation," Holly joked.

_"You should, let me know how it goes."_

Holly laughed and then the line went silent for a little while. Gail was feeling a little braver so she decided just to ask. Holly hadn't actually answered but Gail was good at being blunt, _"so, why'd you call last night?"_ She tried to keep her voice light and casual when she was feeling anything but.

"You caught that huh? I guess I was having a moment," Holly tried to brush it off, "plus I wanted to talk to someone who could hear me."

_"Sorry, what'd you say?"_

"I said I-" Holly caught on, "oh _shut up_," Holly laughed. "I don't know, I guess I just wanted to talk to you."

Gail would take it. _"I don't blame you."_

"So how was your shift?" Holly tried changing the subject and propped the phone between her ear and shoulder as she started on another email reply.

_"Long, but fine. I was in booking and it was a Monday night so, relatively calm. Only booked like seven people. I'm actually working a double this evening slash tonight slash tomorrow morning, so that'll be a marathon of fun."_

"Well I know how much you _love _running."

_"Stop smiling,"_ Gail could tell Holly's mouth had gone all crooked over her misfortune and Holly's joke.

"I am _not_," Holly feigned insult. Summer nudged her hard in the side, and this time Holly was pretty sure it was on purpose.

_"I'll give you a pass today,"_ Gail seemed to ponder her offer as she spoke.

Holly looked down at her sister for a second, "hey, I've gotta finish these emails before I have to go, and you should probably get some sleep."

_"Probably,"_ Gail conceded a yawn; she was already in bed.

"Okay, well I'll talk to you later," Gail couldn't tell if Holly said it as a question or a statement.

_"Yeah, of course."_

"K, well,"

_"Holly, I meant it. I meant all of it, okay?"_

"Okay," Holly couldn't help smiling.

_"Okay, good."_ Gail nodded to herself.

"Goodnight, Gail."

_"Good morning, Holly."_

* * *

**Thursday**

"_Sooo_," Chloe drew out the word as a fair warning that she was about to ask a question, "is Holly back yet?"

"No," Gail kept her answer short and curt as she made a right turn as the light turned green.

Chloe furrowed her brow, "why not?" Her voice was filled with genuine surprise and curiosity.

"She and her sister decided to stay a couple more days with their grandpa. That okay with you?"

Chloe ignored Gail's rhetorical question, "aw, that's really sweet," Chloe smiled. "My grandma died when I was a kid and my grandpa was so heartbroken. It's was _so_ sad. I'm kinda surprised he didn't like die of a broken heart ya know? He ended up living another, like, fifteen years." Chloe quickly turned in her seat to face Gail, "do you know if they liked the flowers I sent?"

"_What?!"_ Gail pulled the car over.

"Woah," Chloe looked at their sudden change of course, "what?"

"_You_ sent _flowers_?" Gail was shooting her best eye daggers right at Chloe, and there was only about a foot and half between them.

Chloe smiled to try and defrost Gail's face, "uh, yeah. To the funeral home." She raised her hands up like it was no big deal.

_"Why?"_ Gail asked slowly and suspiciously.

"That's what you do right?" Chloe was obviously nervous, "I mean you and Holly are-were-are uh, well you and Dov are really close and we're together, so I just thought it would be nice. I had them put his name on them too." Chloe's smile turned to a frown, "_wait, _you_ did_ send flowers too right?" Chloe knew Gail wasn't the most socially adept individual. She almost felt a little bad she hadn't maybe told Gail to send some flowers or something.

"_Yes_," Gail snarked back as if Chloe's question was preposterous. Gail wasn't about to tell Chloe that Traci had basically told her straight up that that's what people did. Gail still didn't really get the point. All the flowers everyone sent were probably already in the trash anyways. She also wasn't about to tell Chloe that unbeknownst to her, her _mother_ had also sent flowers on behalf of the whole department. Superintendent mom was such a busy body.

"Oh," Chloe perked right up, "well great. Shall we?" Chloe pointed to stream of traffic.

Gail didn't respond but turned her left blinker on to merge back onto the road.

"So when's Holly flying back?" Chloe was practically bouncing out of her seat.

"She's not," Gail answered cooly.

"What?" Chloe sounded worried, which Gail got a kick out of, "she's not coming back? Why?!"

"She's coming back," Gail pulled the squad car up to the park they were meant to do a short foot patrol in.

"Wait, what do you mean? I'm so confused," Chloe shook her head back and forth as they hopped out of the car.

"She's driving back," as much as she found this line of questioning annoying and stressful Gail was enjoying toying with Chloe while she could.

"I thought she flew out there? You drove her to the airport!" Chloe was once again, confused.

"Her parents had driven out and they flew back so she and her sister are driving their car back. Does that pass your sniff test, Chloe?" Gail was getting really impatient. Chloe really doesn't know how to drop things, does she?

"Makes sense," Chloe nodded, getting the hint that Gail wanted to talk about something else.

"Can we just keep an eye out for this pill pusher?" Gail didn't wait for Chloe's response and started down the path through the park.

* * *

**Friday**

_"Hey."_

Gail was sure she could hear Holly smile into the phone. "Hey, what's goin' on?" Gail threw her legs over the back of the couch and reached into the bag of cheese puffs for another handful.

_"So, guess what I played for an hour while I babysat my _eight _and _twelve year old_ cousins tonight?"_

_ Shit._ Gail tried to play it cool, "video games? Did you lose real bad?" Gail put on an air of sympathy.

_"No, although I did _lose. _Actually, I lost_ all the cash _I had on me,_" Holly's voice said, 'I know you know what I'm talking about but I'm gonna let you dig your hole a little deeper if you want.'

"Holly," Gail's voice was serious, "I can't believe you took your cousins to a strip club. _Really_. I mean, I know you're in this silent contest to be the coolest cousin, but it probably just scared them. Well, maybe not Daniel. I'm _appalled_ they even let them _in_. Seriously, what's the name of this place? I'm reporting them."

_"Ha," _Gail could hear Holly chuckling, _"I did _not_ take Adam and Dan to a _strip club. _They actually wanted to play this cool new game they learned called _Blackjack. _Ever played?"_

The jig was up. "I haven't played in a _while_..." Gail chomped down on another cheese puff.

_"Oh yeah?" _Holly asked playfully. _"Well these guys were _quite _the card sharks. They said that my special friend _Gail _taught them how to play and that she even taught them how to split their hand."_

Gail stopped chewing; "am I?"

_"Are you what?"_

"Am I your special friend?" Gail started to play with the hem on her t-shirt and pivoted the bottom of the phone away from her mouth so she could exhale loudly.

Gail could hear Holly sigh but then her playful tone was back, _"do you really want to have this conversation over the phone?"_

Gail pouted, "no, I hate talking on the phone."

Holly smiled, _"well I could let you go if you want_."

"No," Gail answered quickly and firmly. _Shit, was that desperate? Ugh, whatever._

_"You called me, you know?"_ Holly was talking out of the side of her mouth; Gail could tell.

"I know," Gail answered in her pouty voice.

_"Just so long as we're clear."_ Gail thought she could hear the creak of the porch swing in the background.

"We didn't play for money," Gail offered.

_"Sorry?"_ Holly wasn't sure where Gail had taken the conversation.

"I didn't teach them about _betting_. We just played. W_ithout_ money," Gail clarified, "they probably Googled it or something."

Holly turned around in her seat and looked through the window into the kitchen, _"yeah, maybe if a certain Summer Stewart goes by 'google' now."_

* * *

**Saturday**

"I don't know Gramp Ed," Holly kept her eyes trained on her iPad, "I'm not sure you're gonna like what Summer brings back from the grocery store. She could have just waited until I was finished with this."

"Nonsense, the traffic would have been a bear," he set a cup of tea down on the table next to Holly's armrest and then sat down on the swing next to her, holding onto his own mug.

"Thanks," Holly smiled and sent her email. She flipped the cover over the tablet before placing it onto the table and taking the mug into her hands.

"As soon and your grandmother saw this swing she whispered to me, 'we're buying this house come hell or high water.'"

Holly smiled, "I love this swing."

"I know," he took a sip of his tea. "Nine months out of they year you were on this thing or you weren't at our house," he chuckled to himself.

Holly looked over at him, "I miss her gramp Ed."

He smiled softly and patted her hand, "I know, butterfly. Me too. But she wouldn't want us to mope. That'd kill her." Holly scooched down so she could rest her head on his shoulder. "Speaking of which," he produced a small velvet box from his shirt pocket, "she would have wanted you to have this."

Holly moved her head from his shoulder with a curious look on her face. She took the box and popped it open. "_Gramp Ed_," Holly's face was total shock as she shook her head back and forth. "Gram's _engagement ring? _No, I can't take this," Holly snapped the box shut and placed it back in his hand.

He carefully put the box back in Holly's hand and closed her fingers around it, holding her hand closed with his own, "she would want you to have it, to _give_." Holly stared at him with a look that combined surprise, fear, and sadness. He smiled at her, trying to calm the activity in her mind. "She did," he smiled and nodded, "she didn't _tell_ me, but trust me; she _did_."

They sat there for minutes. Holly frozen, her grandfather still.

"Guess what I got!" Summer's voice echoed through the kitchen.

"Guacamole?!" Ed called back hopefully as he stood up. He kissed the top of Holly's head and whispered, "it's not gonna bite, Butterfly. Nothing to be scared of," gently tapped her cheek twice, and then rounded towards the door to the kitchen.

After her grandfather and Summer had gone to bed Holly sat on the swing late into the night. She opened and closed the box. She took the ring in and out. She spun it around her fingers. She watched it shine in the moonlight. She whispered, "well played, Gram. Well played."

* * *

_"Trees hang low and clouds suffocate the sun so you can see, put a signal in the sky for me"_  
- _Matt Hires "Signal in the Sky"_

* * *

**A/N: Seriously, your reviews make me feel like a little kid on Christmas morning. I read, and love them all!**

**I was planning on this chapter and the next being one but then I decided it would be super long so you're getting this one tonight. I hope you like it and that it's not too hard to follow.**

**Hang in there annabanana6! Holly's coming home on Sunday...**

**P.S. FanFiction has been seriously glitchy for the past week or so and if your reviews haven't been posted just know there's nothing I can do about it, (I don't think? is there?) but I'm probably sadder about it than you are :/**


	35. Chapter 35: Fool, I'm a Fool

_"Fool, I'm a fool to believe I can do without you to repair all the wreckage and ruin"_

* * *

Gail rolled up her belt and placed it atop the shelf in her locker. She felt the slight smack of the police issued windbreaker graze across her backside. She twisted her neck to see Traci walking over to her own locker, "good work today, Gail," Traci called over her shoulder.

Gail offered a tight lipped smile, "my duty, my pleasure." Gail and her rookie had stopped a car on a seemingly routine traffic violation that morning. However, when they ran the man's driver's license it turned out he had multiple warrants out for his arrest. They brought him back to the station and he sang like a canary to avoid going to jail. He tipped them off to a gang's drug front that, among other things, was home to tens of illegal weapons and loads of ammunition. They made the bust just before the end of their shift.

Traci started working on her lock's combination, "so, Holly's coming home today, yeah?" Gail didn't look over but she _knew_ Traci was giving her one of those looks, she could hear Traci smiling as she said it.

"Yup," Gail continued working at undoing the buttons on her uniform shirt.

Traci grabbed her bag out of her locker and replaced the lock, "and?"

Gail folded up her shirt and shoved it into her bag, "and, don't you have a small child to cook dinner for, or something?"

Traci was next to her now, "_shoot_, where _is_ your brother?" Gail chuckled at that one. "Just don't screw it up, yeah?" Traci was backing out of the locker room.

"Thanks for your support," Gail mock smiled at Traci. Why was _everyone_ telling her not to screw it up? First Dov this morning on the way in, then Chris at lunch, and now Traci. Well, Gail _knew_ why, but why did they have to be _blunt_ about it? Surely that was rude...

Gail finally slung her bag over her shoulder and made her way out into the hallway.

"Hey, Officer Peck! You coming to the Penny to celebrate? Big bust!" Hamilton was all smiles after their busy day.

Gail stopped and turned on her heels to face him. She narrowed her eyes and shook her head, "no, Hamilton. That'd be a _negative_." She turned and walked down the hall to leave.

"What? Why not?" Even in his surprise he was still chipper.

"Because you asked, Hamilton," Gail waved him off as she exited through the doors.

The rookie stood there confused, looking around the room for confirmation that he hadn't imagined their interaction. Dov and Chris had seen their exchange from the locker room door and Chris gave Hamilton a smack on the back as they both laughed, "don't take it personal, she wasn't coming to begin with."

Gail hopped in her car and sped home. She was thinking about how stopping off at the Penny for a little liquid courage before going to see Holly might not be the _worst_ idea ever when she reached the top of the stairs. She looked up when she finally located her keys. Well _that _plan was _out_.

"Holly, hey," Gail sputtered out, "I thought you weren't getting back until later?" The knots that had taken up residence in Gail's gut that morning tightened even further.

Holly pushed herself off the wall and dropped her hands onto her thighs, "me too. I guess Summer's lead foot is more like an osmium foot."

Gail furrowed her brow looking for an explanation.

"Osmium's the heaviest naturally occurring metal on earth," Holly rattled off, "if your foot was made of osmium it would weight practically as much as a Fiat, stupid joke."

Gail let a smile creep onto her face, "nerdy." She unlocked the door and held it open, "do you wanna come in?" She was genuinely asking because she was wan't sure if Holly did. Gail knew they needed to talk. She _wanted_ them to talk; there were things she wanted to say. Gail just didn't really want to _be _there for it; if only she could fast forward to whichever outcome Holly could choose. She wondered if there was a paper bag handy that she could breathe into.

"Thanks," Holly smiled and walked past her. Gail followed her inside and dumped her bag on the floor as Holly spun around on her toes, "No Dov? Chlov? Doë?"

"Pripstein? Getting drunk and handsy at the Penny," Gail's eyes darted around the room.

"Gail, we should talk-"

Gail cut Holly off, "do you want something to drink? Vodka? Tequila? Whiskey?" Gail nervously rubbed the backs of her jeans, "gin? I think we've got beer?"

Holly nodded knowingly, "so that's how we're gonna do this."

"I killed a cat," Gail spat it out; not in her usual snarky spray, but as if she wanted to finish saying it as soon as possible. As if it had escaped on it's own. She could hear her heartbeat in her ears. Holly's hands were on her hips. She didn't say anything, but her face said it all. Holly's head slid back on it's plain, an eyebrow creeped up, and her mouth dropped open slightly. "By accident," Gail quickly added once she realized what she'd said. "I was nine. My mom had finally caved and let us get a pet. It was a little kitten." Gail closed her eyes before continuing, "Steve was chasing me so I ran into my room because I didn't want him to take it away from me. I put it in a drawer." Gail sighed "Steve picked the lock on my door," shel looked down at her feet. "So, I slammed the drawer shut. I didn't want him to see," Gail chanced a look up at Holly but quickly looked back down before she could really see her. "The cat...it...popped it's head up just before the drawer closed." Holly flinched a little with her head and Gail looked up at her, "I didn't see it in time. I told my parent's it ran away."

"It snapped it's neck?" Holly's big brown eyes were filled with sorrow, Gail thought she saw a little pity in there too. She wasn't sure if it was for her or the kitten.

Gail nodded, "I was trying to protect it and keep it safe, and I just ended up killing it. Just like you. I was trying to do what was best; I was trying to protect you."

"So, _I'm_ the cat now?" Holly asked with a little apprehension and curiosity.

"I guess," Gail licked her lips, "or _we _are? I was trying to protect you, I thought I was doing the right thing."

Holly cocked her head to the side, inviting Gail to continue.

"I thought..," Gail looked down and bit her lower lip before drawing her eyes back up to Holly, "I thought that I couldn't give you everything you wanted, everything you deserved. I told myself I didn't want," Gail's eyes rolled to the top of their sockets, trying to to find the right word, "the future? Because I was scared." Gail paused, waiting for Holly to say something.

Holly took her cue, brushing her glasses back up to the bridge of her nose, "why'd you get scared?" Her voice was genuine concern, curiosity; she wanted to know without malice.

Gail leaned up against the wall, "because it was real? _We _werereal? And work, all the sudden I'm completely responsible for keeping my rookies alive. They're _even more_ accident prone and idiotic than _Dov_. You worry about me. That stupid conversation at the stupid Penny freaked me out too. Stupid, it was stupid. But I thought I was doing what was best for you. Plus, you, you _see_ me, for _me," _Gail rolled her eyes at her cliched words to defend against how they exposed her. "With you I feel like I don't _have _to be anyone or anything but," Gail shrugged, "whatever I want. I don't have to be a cop, I don't have to be 'a _Peck_,' I don't have to be guarded. And in spite of that you _liked _me, and you _stayed, _and you _loved_ 's the scariest part of all," Gail crossed her arms in front of her as a comfort.

"Gail," her voice was stern but soothing, "I never liked you _in spite_ of you," Holly closed with a chuckle and it calmed Gail's nerves a bit.

"Well _that_ is the scariest part then."

Holly shrugged, "fair enough."

Gail finally broke the silence that fell between them, "Holly, I'm _so_ sorry. But you have to know that I was trying to do right by you." Gail muttered, "trying and _failing_," before looked down at her feet and shoved her hands between her back and the wall. "I never stopped loving you." Gail rolled her eyes even though Holly couldn't see, "it was such a waste."

"What'd you say?" Holly craned her neck forward trying to find Gail's eyes.

Gail reluctantly looked back up at Holly, "I said I never stopped loving you. I _love_ you." Gail swallowed hard.

Holly shook her head, "what'd you say after that?"

Gail blinked, "uh, that it was a waste? Hurting you, freaking out, ruining our relationship; it was a waste," she said it quick, her eyes were narrowed. She was ashamed for, and angry at, what she had done.

"Well, was it?" Holly's voice was light and her eyebrows were raised.

Gail's face quickly morphed into one that showed serious doubt, "yes," her answer was short and definitive, "don't you think?" It was a no brainer to Gail.

"I don't know," Holly leaned up against the back of the couch and crossed her legs in front of her, "maybe not."

Gail's forehead was furrowed and her general expression and posture screamed 'are you nuts?' "Well?"

"Well, do you feel the same as you did the night you so unceremoniously packed up all your stuff, gave me my key back, and broke my heart?"

Gail flinched but her response was quick, "honestly? Yeah, I feel like shit. My palms are super sweaty, and I feel like I might puke." She couldn't help but grow more confused when Holly chuckled. Gail didn't really know what was going on, and she _hated_ not knowing what was going on.

"Glad to know I'm not the only one. But I meant the _other_ kind of feelings," Holly's smile went crooked, "do you think the same things as you did then?"

Gail's eyes went wide, "well, no. I don't."

Holly tapped her index finger on the top of the couch, "so, was it a waste then?" Gail was silent for a moment so Holly continued with a smile, "not to say that you went about it in the right way. At _all."_

How could Holly do that? How could Holly simultaneously tell her she's been a stupid, scared, little runner, _and _that maybe it wasn't the worst thing in the world? How could Holly constantly keep pointing out the silver lining without being nauseatingly chipper about it? Gail shrugged, "guess not."

"Couldn't have been the biggest waste in the world," Holly's tone was baiting.

"Oh yeah?" Gail quirked an eyebrow, "and what would that be?"

Holly looked over her glasses and into Gail's eyes, "staying mad at someone you love. That's the biggest waste. Or so I've been told..."

"Holly," Gail was back to being fresh, "I was never mad at you."

Holly rolled her eyes, "who says I was talking about _you_?"

Gail pushed herself off the wall but only took a half step forward and could barely muster a whisper, "do you? Still love me?" Her head was bowed and her fingers were fidgeting with each other behind her back.

Holly placed her hand on Gail's shoulder and waited until the blonde met her eyes, "I forgive you. Okay? I forgive you. No more shoving me in drawers though, okay? We can hide under the bed together, or something?"

"Why? Why forgive me?" The distain in Gail's voice was directed inward.

"Because. I get it, okay? I don't have to like it to understand what you did. Plus, I love you, and it would be a waste not to."

"You do?" Gail sounded hopeful but skeptical.

Holly nodded and smiled, "I do."

"Even now?" Gail's hands stilled.

"Gail, are you calling me a liar?" Holly chuckled.

Before she knew it Gail's arms were around her waist and her head was buried in her neck. Holly ran her hands up and down Gail's back as she felt warm tears speckle the crook of her neck. Finally Gail pulled away and put her hands on either side of Holly's face. "Holly, I am _so so _sorry. But I'm staying now. I'm _staying _wether you like it or not, actually. I only ever wanted you to be happy, and I didn't think I could-" Gail was surprised when her rant was stopped by Holly's lips but she quickly melted into the kiss. After a long moment Holly rested her forehead on Gail's, "you just _really_ had to stop talking." Gail's hands were still cupping Holly's face and the smile that she saw there made her go weak at the knees. She could feel the smile creeping up, under her palms. Gail did the only thing she really could; she kissed Holly back.

* * *

_"Fool, I'm a fool to believe I can do without you to repair all the wreckage and ruin"_  
-_ Ingrid Michaelson "Into You"_

* * *

**A/N: Phew.**

**Super huge thank you to all of you readers, and especially those of you who review. You're all stars! A couple of you asked, and the quotes at the top of ****the chapters are mostly song lyrics, a lot of them have been in Rookie Blue, but a lot of them haven't. I didn't even think of it until now but I'm going to go back and credit them before I start working on the next chapter.**

**As this arc of the story becomes pretty much resolved I just wanted to throw out a couple of my thoughts. Obviously, I wanted Gail to work for it. However, I don't see Holly as someone who would make Gail jump throw a bunch of hoops just for the fun of it, at least not for serious things (bag of cheese puffs? I could totally see Holly hiding that just for fun). In my mind, the situation with Holly's grandma gave Gail the opportunity to step up while _also_ sweating it out a little, seeing as there was about a week and ****half between Gail showing up at Holly's doorstep and Holly finally returning home. In my mind Holly's goodbye to her grandma gave some context in which Holly might have opened up to forgiving Gail more quickly. A lot of time Gail seems to be seen as a "runner" and in the fic she did run. However, in my mind that was out of character for Gail. So far in the show Gail hasn't been the one to do the actual "breaking up". The first time she and Chris "broke up" or just stopped hooking up (they weren't really official were they?) Steve pretty much did that for her. Gail just kind of did what he told her to do. The 2nd time they broke up Chris did that. Gail did, as Chris put it, "let Dov get close to her" but Chris was the one who ended the relationship. I kinda think Gail and Nick were a little doomed from the start, but again, Gail created a situation where Nick would break up with her. The whole, cat in a tree/emergency situation. Gail was obviously uncomfortable in that relationship ever since Nick returned from undercover, but she let it fester, and eventually did something that ruined it instead of talking to Nick or ending it herself. So, how I see it, is that even though Gail abruptly peaced out on Holly, it was growth for her. She broke up with Holly, but she did so in a pretty clean way, probably the cleanest way Gail could.**

**Any who, Gramp Ed did give Holly that ring, but don't expect her to pop the question anytime soon...I'm definitely not done with this story, but I'm thinking of possibly stopping after another chapter or two and starting a sequel. What do ya think?**


	36. Chapter 36: Through Your Eyes

_"The world looks better through your eyes"_

* * *

"Gail," Holly whispered as she ran tan hands up and down a porcelain back, "Gail, I have to get up."

Gail didn't open her eyes but she tightened the hold her arm had on Holly's waist, "what? Noooo," she grumbled as she tangled her leg even more with Holly's.

"I have to go to _work_," Holly chuckled.

"Work is lame," Gail mumbled as she nuzzled further into the crook of Holly's neck.

"Actually, it's my patients who are _lame_," Holly joked with a smile.

Gail finally opened her eyes, "gross," she deadpanned.

Holly gave Gail's butt a couple pats, "I have to get up."

"Fine," Gail groaned and closed her eyes but made no effort to move off of Holly.

"Gail," Holly said sternly.

"Yeah?" Gail asked, keeping her eyes closed.

"Do you want me to throw you onto the floor or were you just going to hang on tight while I went to the bathroom?"

"Oh right," Gail smiled and rolled off of Holly and onto her back. "Hey wait," Gail reached blindly for Holly and pulled her back down as she felt the bed shift. Gail placed a kiss on her lips before looping her arm's around Holly's neck. "You should, ah, probably throw something on before you run down the hall. Wouldn't want to make Dov faint or drool everywhere."

Holly smirked, "that's real thoughtful of you," and dropped a kiss onto Gail's lips before throwing on Gail's bathrobe and padding out of the room.

Gail blinked her eyes open and stared at her alarm clock, "_Jesus Christ,_" she exclaimed to the empty room.

Holly pattered back into the room and Gail rolled over onto her back. "Holly?" Gail's voice was serious and inquisitive.

"Yesss?" Holly asked with a hint of mischief as she hopped into her underwear.

"It's barely six o'clock," Gail reported through closed eyes.

"Your point?" Holly asked through a laugh as she threw the bathrobe on the bed and put her bra on.

"My point _is_ that you, and _I_, should be asleep, or at the very least still naked."

"You're still naked," Holly quipped as she threw her shirt over her head.

Gail started tracing patterns onto the sheet with her index finger, "are you...running away?" Gail looked up at Holly from the corner of her eye.

"What?!" Holly whipped her head around, "_no_. Why would you-"

"Well _I don't know_," Gail rolled her head and eyes back.

Holly stalked over to Gail's bed and hovered over the blonde on all fours. She ducked and weaved her head until she finally met with ice blue eyes with a smile, "you're insane. You know that right?" Holly dropped a kiss her lips before Gail could respond. "I just took like a _week and half off_. I need to play a little catch up before _everyone _comes in and needs a piece of me. And I have to go back to my place to change and get my stuff first."

"_Hey_, only I'm allowed to get a piece of you," Gail looped her arms around Holly's neck, pulling her down for another kiss. "I _guess_," Gail groaned dramatically, "since, thanks to _you_, I'm awake at this ungodly hour I'll drive you," she added a cheeky grin.

"Oh, you don't have to," Holly pushed herself off the bed and began to search for her jeans.

"Holly, how else are you going to get home? Summer dropped you off here," Gail said matter-of-factly.

"Well, I guess by 'you don't have to drive me' I meant that you could just give me your keys and get a ride to work with Dov," Holly grinned as she hopped into her jeans.

"Nice try 'Grand Theft Auto' but it's my day off and Dov's car smells. I'll drive you," Gail rubbed her eyes as she moved up to sitting and swung her legs over to the floor.

* * *

"_Shit_," Holly slammed her head back into the headrest and clamped her eyes shut.

"What?" Gail put the car in park as she pulled into a spot in the morgue's parking lot.

Holly opened her eyes but kept her head resting firmly, "my squirrelly intern's car is already here. I'm going to have a headache before my day is even supposed to start."

"It's barely seven thirty. Someone's a little overeager," Gail added some exasperation to her voice for Holly's sake.

"You have _no idea,_" Holly unplugged her phone from the car charger and started double checking her bag to make sure she had everything she'd need for the day.

"Well, you can always call me. I'll come and slap the cuffs on you, put you under arrest, drag you out of here early," Gail wagged her eyebrows.

"Oh _yeah_?" Holly smirked, "how would that go?"

"Only one way to find out," Gail shifted her torso in the seat so she was leaning up against the door.

"I'll keep that in mind then," the smirk on Holly's face drooped as she glanced over to the morgue, "gosh, I feel like I haven't been to work in _years_." It was definitely the most consecutive time off she'd had since she entered her residency. Holly negotiated her way out of the car, "thanks for the lift, officer."

"Anything for a pretty girl like you," Gail winked as Holly rolled her eyes and shut the door.

* * *

"_What?"_ Gail spat as she toed off her shoes at the door.

Dov dropped his fork back onto the plate and raised up his hands in defense, "nothing. Did you uh- want any french toast?" Dov pointed over to the stove.

"There's bacon too," Chloe tried to keep her smile in check.

"I ate," Gail responded flatly as she made her way over to the stove and shoved a piece of bacon into her mouth. Dov and Chloe motioned to each other vigorously with their eyes.

"What's with _you_?" Gail grabbed another slice of bacon.

"Oh, uh, just glad that you're, ya know," Dov made some vague motions with his hands, "safe, and uh-fed," he nodded, mostly trying to convince himself he'd been smooth.

Gail reached for a mug to pour herself a cup of coffee and Chloe decided while Gail's back was turned was the best time to make a move, "Holly have to go into work early this morning?"

"Not everyone can swing a couple months off in a row, Price," Gail shot back as she rummaged in the fridge for some milk.

Dov cut in, "we're going to the range with Chris before grabbing lunch at that Mexican place across the street, you should come."

Gail shrugged, "why would I pass up a chance to beat your asses?"

* * *

"I survived," Holly groaned triumphantly as she exited the side entrance of the morgue. Gail was perched against the front passenger side of her car taking a gulp of water.

"Yeah, but did 'Squirrelly'?" Gail nodded over to the intern's car Holly had pointed out that morning.

"Barely, but you better get me out of here before that changes," Holly gave Gail a quick poke to the ribs before grabbing at the handle on the passenger door.

Gail pushed herself up to standing, "Yes, ma'am."

"Hey," Holly called as Gail rounded the front of the car, "why are you in uniform? You said it was your day off." Holly followed Gail's movements with her eyes from inside of the car.

"I had to go into court this afternoon," Gail slid into her seat and looked over at Holly, a sly smirk playing on her face, "but I kept it on for you."

Holly felt a blush erupt on her cheeks and she swallowed hard as she reached around to put on her seatbelt.

A few moments had passed and Gail had yet to even start the car. "Gail?" Holly waved her hand in front of Gail's face and chuckled when the blonde blinked rapidly, "you were staring."

Gail squeaked out a "sorry," but didn't move.

Holly's tone turned more serious, "you okay?"

"What comes _after_ 'I love you'?" Gail asked the question slowly and seemed to ponder it even as she said the words.

"What do you mean?" Holly smiled because Gail was just being introspective and curious as opposed to being upset.

"Like, I love you, I really do. I haven't said it as often as I should. I know. But it doesn't seem enough anyways, because I more than love you. Like, what do I say that's more than _that_?"

Holly forced herself not to laugh because this was the last thing she was expecting Gail to be ruminating about. "Were they playing 'More Than Words' in the bakery or something?"

"Stupid, it's stupid. Never mind," Gail rolled her eyes, turning back toward the steering wheel, and shoved the key in the ignition."

"Hey, wait," Holly placed her hand over the one Gail had wrapped around the key. She snuck her thumb under Gail's uniform cuff and stroked her wrist lightly until blue eyes peeked out again. "I didn't mean to make fun," Holly's smile was warm and reassuring. "You're right, you don't say it a lot with your words, but I _know_. You say it in other ways."

"What?" Gail sounded skeptical.

Holly's eyes floated up to help her recall, "like how you flew out to be with me even though we weren't really _together," _Holly smiled as she paused,_ "_or when you take my glasses off when I fall asleep in front of the t.v., or when you made me eggs one morning even though they gross you out-"

Gail cut in with a whiney tone; "there were bits of shell in _there_."

Holly smiled and continued along, "or how sometimes you put my towel in the dryer while I'm showering when it's cold outside, or when we watch foreign films even though you _hate_ them. _Or_ how you stay in your itchy uniform because you know I think it's _super_ hot."

"Oh," was all Gail could come up with. Her eyes were wide and her mouth was slightly agape.

Gail's response made Holly's smile go crooked and she leaned in to rest her forehead on Gail's and whispered "I more than love you too," before dropping the lightest but lingering kiss on her lips. "Can you at least turn the A/C on though? I'm burning up in this hot box," Holly smiled and started fanning herself with her shirt.

* * *

_"The world looks better through your eyes"  
- Ed Sheeran "Firefly"_

* * *

**A/N: First of all, I seriously cannot thank you all enough. This was my first fic and you all were so encouraging and constructive! So much love to you. The finest pearls is what you all are.**

**Secondly, I've decided to continue this story in another fic. I'm not done with it but the amount of chapters have kind of bogged me down and this also seems like a good place for a _wee_ time jump (I haven't decide on this exactly but it will most likely be a few months, definitely less than six). While we're on the subject, if there's anything you _do_ or _don't_ want to when we pick back up speak now! I love hearing what you guys think and I'll definitely take it into consideration. I've already got a little bit of that story written but it's definitely _not_ the first chapter so it probably won't be up for a couple days at least, probably at the end of the weekend.**

**Thanks again guys! you're all superstars!**


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